My mental health has been steadily declining recently, and I’m not sure why. Possibly because of my impulsivity and lack of self control. Last night was an especially bad night for me, I tried calling a few friends to talk about my distress. It was 3 am though so no one would pick up. Ultimately, I called the suicide hotline. For the first time in my life. I explained how I felt as though I’m losing control over my life, how the universe seems to be out to get me, and how I feel useless to the world and those around me. So thanks to Walter and the contra costa crisis center for telling me my thoughts and feelings were valid. Life’s a struggle. To be clear, this is not me looking for pity or sympathy. It’s more so me telling you all that there’s no shame in calling for help.