[MY FIRST PANORAMIC SWIPE!]
Mornings •• before you wake up ✨
I wake up to a dark slate sky, as a blank slate.
Unmarked - not as in perfect,
but at my most raw, at my most honest.
It’s like everything is frozen, suspended…
and the only thing drifting is my thoughts.
They’re untethered, not yet leashed + jostled along by the world’s moving parts,
but meandering to what I know is at my very centre.
As the sky lightens and streaks of pink, red and orange ignite across, it is scorchingly clear to me what/who I need and want and love + what I stand for.
They’re branded on me, and it feels clear and bold and wonderful.
But the fire fades, always quicker than I can prepare for.
The sky becomes a perfectly uniform canvas of blue,
but there’s nothing perfect nor uniform about me.
I go into the day, hanging onto that rawness, honesty, clarity, dreaming in multicolour.
Some days, I manage to not let go,
but other days, it lets go of me.
But if I’m lucky (and not lazy), I always wake to new day,
a new dark slate sky,
as a new blank slate,
ready to to mark + mess up.
Some places will forever captivate me; like Govetts Leap in the Blue Mountains, the Remarkables range in New Zealand and Fribourg’s Old Town in Switzerland.
It’s like they own a piece of me and that piece just gets bigger with every visit.
If places could be soulmates, they’d be mine.
Eagle Rock in the Royal National Park is the latest addition to the list ❤️
Can you see the little patch of Mount Solitary, gleaming, illuminated by the sun that managed to sneak through the clouds?
A little bit of weather on this morning just made everything more beautiful ✨
There is always light to find.
I find it in the places that spellbind me, the people who see + love me. You give me sense, meaning, fire. You help me see through the cloud, despite the cloud
There is also always light to give. I think...I have a light behind my eyes that sparks something in others. It’s probably the thing about myself that I’m most proud of
The two are inextricably linked. What goes around, comes around. Being impacted, creating impact. Fuelling my flame, spreading my fire, fuelling your flame, spreading your fire. Finding our way to shine together 💖
The teaching is that someone’s social media account is just their highlight reel.
To a certain extent, this applies to mine.
But it would do me a giant disservice to think that it applies entirely.
I think if you actually read my posts, and not just watch my Stories or double-tap my Photos, you would agree that I don’t hide my low points.
Because OF COURSE I have them - in fact, I’d argue I have more than the average person (in a similar position) because I feel everything so deeply and intensely and I see the world extremely openly and loosely.
I live with a lot of pain, questions, doubt and insecurities - some of which I share here and some of which I trust with only a few of my closest
But I try to always maintain perspective, to embrace both good + bad and let it all shine through my social media.
So as a whole, my life really is as big and as beautiful AND as messy as (I hope) my Instagram suggests
I don’t want to have to feel like I need to water it down because I am very proud of it. I put in the hours and work for it but am never busy for busy’s sake. The time, emotion and effort that I put into every experience and person is so very deliberate.
Because after sleepwalking through a handful of years in my early-mid 20s and seeing both my peers and those older than me NEVER waking up from their sleep walk…it became paramount to me to live consciously every single day and craft for myself, the life of my ever-changing, ever-growing dreams.
It is ALWAYS hard work, and not always successful work. There is often guilt, conflict, uncertainty, letting people down...but mainly so much love and fulfilment. My heart is achingly full ❤️ .
With all that said, I am most definitely getting sick from a few weeks of 200% output…sooo I think I will take a deload week from both training and life in general this week, please and thank you 😂😅👀🙏🏼
A waterfall seems fixed because it is predictable in its turning over and over…
but it's never exactly the same as it was.
Just like the sun is sure to rise and set every day and night…
but the sky is always different and quick to change in hues + luminosities.
This concurrence of constant and varied is what I love about nature. It’s enough to make me feel safe and (not) enough to keep me seeking + discovering.
And I think it is what we should learn to see + embrace in ourselves + in each other.
I feel like society brings us up with the belief that we need to figure it all out, as soon as possible, and then stay there at this ‘apex’ we’ve ‘achieved’.
But nothing in nature is like that; everything is perpetually in motion, in cycles - and we are the same
Stability may keep things (mundanely) ticking over but it is uncertainty + change that spurs things to grow.
When we really see + embrace this for ourselves, as people, we remember that we’re not made to stay secure (stagnant). So when things aren’t good, when it breaks us to feel empty and lost, like we are trapped in nothingness, alone…it’s just because we're in the dark. We’re turning and with conscious action and love, we'll come out into the light x
‘When we are in dreams awake’
Indescribable, inexplicable to anyone else but us. I guard these times, locked in my chest and sometimes when I breathe deeply, they surge through me along with my blood and oxygen and keep me going.
I went to the Australian Museum yesterday with my girl @crossfiz and our minds were blown a bajillion times (did you know that elephants are showing a GENETIC RESPONSE to poaching? The number of tuskless elephants are increasing. Seriously 🤯) .
What it hammered home was how miniscule we are in time and space...and yet the impact we have on this Earth is (devastatingly) huge.
This world and its inhabitants are so, so beautiful and equally deserving of a chance to thrive...so please remember to be kind (including to yourself) ❤️
My best friend @bc_norris on top of Queenstown Hill back in April, as my travel buddy on my third trip with @jetstarnz
Can’t find the right words, enough words. All of me was on fire; full (to the brim) and alive (love). That feeling is forever etched on the core of me ❤️
Sunday morning at Echo Point, Blue Mountains
My anchor ✨
See deep into the valleys and far out to the horizon, touch the smoothly coarse sandstone, brush through the bush I love so much, hear the rustling silence, losing time, finding you, finding me, inhaling the earth, exhaling everything.
Finding a home in people, places and myself x
More often than I’ll ever feel comfortable to admit, I’m overcome with the urge to step away from everything.
I know it may seem like I’m searching for an exit, for something else, for something more.
But they’re (mostly) not me sticking my head in the sand - they’re me coming up for air, so that I can go on and keep giving everything + everyone all of me. •••
I will always leave, I will always come home
Taken using the Live Comp function on the @olympus_au OM-D E-M1 Mark II.
I could spend infinite sunrises, sunsets and nights freezing movement and capturing change, with this function, like that of these clouds ❤️
‘Take your time - you are coming home to yourself’ .
The only constant is change and sometimes, it is change inside of you. Suddenly, your thoughts feel foreign, your feelings; alien. Feigning normality, spurts of familiarity but you’re a stranger to yourself.
But I am resilient, I know I will learn to love + thrive in any new state. Looking forward to coming home ❤️
Even in a bustling city like Sydney, there are little pockets of wilderness where I can let out that breath I hadn’t even realised I was holding.
This humble but beautiful 750 metre bush track just minutes from my place is my little respite at the moment 🌿❤️
The best things in life push + pull at you, evoking that heart quickening rush + easy calm, all at once.
You can’t find that beautiful balance when things are too easy or too hard, too comfortable or too unfamiliar.
Hunt for that + who (the things that grant you fulfilment and the people that awaken your soul) which give you that juxtaposition because they make you feel like you’re finally riding the perfect wavelength through the overwhelming racket ❤️
Walking above a sea of green lines, patterns and textures along the Illawarra Treetop Walk with @lululemonausnz #thesweatlife
When I left mum & dad’s on Sunday morning at 5.30am, my car read 8ºC and this kept dropping as I went further south, hitting -1ºC at one point.
The roads were empty, a handful of stars were still out.
A new day, on my way to a new place, with new people.
If this wasn’t adventure, then I didn’t know what was.
I watched the sky lighten in my rearview mirror until just a brushstroke of fiery orange + yellow broke out above the horizon…and I had to pull over.
Moo cows wondered who this girl was, standing on the side of the road, letting out the biggest exhale as she took in the big + beautiful sky above her, the fog hovering above the grass and the golden light speckling a tall gum.
Surrounded by the raw + wild elements of this world, totally in her element.
To do what I love and be with who I love is all I could and will ever ask for.
And when I am able to do so, I can’t help but give it my everything.
As it turns out, I have had a pretty big week, filled with just that ❤️ work, pastimes and people that I am, quite frankly, crazy about.
So, so tired - borderline sick 😂 - but oh my god, my heart is so happy. I honestly feel like I might just explode from love.
This sunburnt land.
The way the untameable + often austere bush meets the vast stretches of golden sand meets the ocean swells.
The eucalyptus greens punctuated by the reds, oranges and yellows of our robust and beautiful natives.
The cacophony of cockatoos, kookaburras and whipbirds in the morning, summoning the world to life.
The smell of sunscreen that sticks all summer long in that blazing heat that is so nostalgic, romantic and oppressive, all at once.
The red dust that sticks to my car as soon as I’m on an unpaved road.
The sounds of laughter, self-deprecation and sarcasm tumbling out from pubs + houses onto the sidewalks most nights, of tinnies being cracked open, of January school swimming carnivals, of Saturday morning nippers, of roos boxing, of the weatherman saying, “it’s gonna be a cold one!” as soon as the temperature falls below 17 degrees.
The ones I love so much with whom I share this sunburnt land.
My concept of ‘home’ is super fluid, ever-changing, more a feeling than a physical place. But out of all the ‘homes’, it’s Australia that I’ll always (though never FOR always 🙃) come back to ✨