So last months I fucked up my own brain chemistry so hard through my own mental experimentation that I literally couldn’t think anymore and was thrown into a very fascinating state of just Being.
I felt like I was catapulted into the experience of losing my mind in such depth that I had no concept of anything anymore, including myself, and as the mere attempt to remember the most random stuff, like what I did the week before, was outright painful in my brain and made me delirious, I eventually surrendered into this floaty nothingness, and connected to my spirit on levels unlike ever before. Actually I felt my Spirit being in my body unlike ever before. Talking to me. Guiding me. Guiding me into letting go and starting anew, which is easy when you don’t remember, and tempting when the old wasn’t working out for you anyway. And by completely losing myself, by letting go of the persona I had created over years without knowing, I could finally see that none of that was actually Me. My True Self and Truth was hidden under layers of Ego conditioning that was ruling my life. This was the greatest ego dissolving I have experienced so far and despite it being insanely confusing and scary at times, it is PURE LIBERATION, because I feel like I finally hit the rock bottom of illusions and can see through this complex web of fears that were the foundation of my psyche✨✨
I love the occasional drug experimentations for enlightenment but what I love even more is experiencing higher states of consciousness in a natural way and this was definitely a new level, or much rather a new depth. Which proves to me again and again that there is so much more to this reality than we are raised to believe. That there are higher states of being in which this whole experience of life is so much more intense, complex, intriguing, and fulfilling. When we let go of all this mental chatter and clinging to what are ego holds onto, and just move deeply into Being, into the Now.
I‘m not saying to give yourself brain damage, I’m aware of the fact that I overdid it this time with my own experimentation and I’m grateful that after a couple of weeks I feel somewhat healthy, capable of remembering
The past weeks I struggled a lot with myself. Over summer I reached a new natural high state that went above any euphoria, energy and bliss I ever experienced before and I got so used to thriving on this new level, or I guess I also simply got so addicted to getting higher and higher and higher, that I almost forgot that given the natural laws there inevitably is also another side to it, and with the change of season into the dark time of the year coming, in combination with me being knocked and burnt out by my own highness experimentation, I fell into a low of utter confusion and anxiety, feeling as lost and disconnected as I haven’t in a long time. And as I struggled with mental health issues for as long as I can remember I resisted really hard to go down to that place again, trying my best to get back into my all happy positive state, until the past days something clicked. And I realized once again that everything goes in cycles.
That there is no high without the low, in fact I never could have even risen as high as this summer without knowing so much darkness in the first place. And by falling in love with my own darkness, by making peace with all of me, my inner peace came back. Resistance vanished.
There is so much beauty and power in the lows of life, for they teach us, shake up our paradigm, point us in new directions and allow us to be reborn with a cleansed perception, Filters taken from our eyes and barriers broken around our hearts. We rise out of the fall. In fact it is all one, light and darkness, high and low, fear and love, all just opposing extremes, different polarities of the same quality. But all one. Remembering that all in life is happening for me, that everything is temporary and I am always exactly where I am supposed to be for the highest evolution for my soul are life savers in times of struggle. Or let’s call it expansion. Change. Growth time. Mindset is everything in navigating through the uprooted chaos within. So fall deeply in love with your own darkness. It’s the necessary contrast to your infinite light. Accept and embrace all of you, and all of life. Than there is no such thing as suffering, only Flow.
To change your life into the one you desire, create new paradigms. Like creating new worlds. Daydream yourself into the reality you would like to experience, under the premise that anything is possible, make it as detailed and vivid and insanely pleasant as possible and get high on it. Imagine this is your present reality already and then get up to it every morning. How would you feel? How would you show up? What would you do ? Choose who you want to be, create the greatest version of yourself you can envision, and than live up to that role every day, every minute, until it becomes you. Adjust your thoughts and words and actions, your whole lifestyle, around that new self image and life vision. Until dream becomes reality. Play with your power, channel it into the creation of your own bliss and see what you’re capable of. Make it fun. Imagine being a magician that can turn anything into gold and than just get curious about how. Replace Impossible with I Can. Replace doubt with unshakable belief. Operate under unlimitedness. Always hold the visual image in completed form in your mind and let your heart guide you there. For any manifested reality is eventually nothing else than what it started as, a picture in the mind. For our external circumstances to change, the change must always be made within first. So go within. Date your soul to know what it desires to experience, to create. And than let this desire be your daily mission to fulfill, your standard to live up to, your roadmap to guide you through daily life, your safe ticket to bliss and success. Your soul knows the way. Create in its calling✨✨ #followyourbliss#yoursoulknowstheway#soulexpansion#vibratehigherdaily#createyourownbliss#naturalecstasy#changefromwithin#journeyofchange#leveluplife#whatveganslooklike#glowfromwithin#highonlife#createyourlife#selfgrowthjunkie#spiritualgangsters#hippieatheart#risinghigher#buildyourdreamlife#bethecreator#soulrevolution#daretodreambig#ownyourlife#youarepowerful#imaginationiseverything
What if you just forgot everything you knew about yourself, thought about yourself, and started over anew? Without the limiting stories of your past, the negative belief system and the illusionary fears, that we so often let define who we are. What if you simply let go of everything that cages you to an old paradigm and self image that doesn’t serve you and surrendered into nothingness with infinite possibility ?
What if you just created something completely new? Something so glorious and fulfilling and blissful that you get high on it daily, a reality that lights you up from within, that turns your soul on. What if you just created from love? From Pouring LOVE into every one of your thoughts, words, actions, your relationships and experiences and decisions. Build an ECSTASY paradigm where everything just glows and flows. What if you tapped Into your divine nature and let your soul guide the way, following it with curiosity and openness into the most enriching contrasting experiences for your highest evolution? What if you embraced all of life? What if you just treated every new day, every moment, every breath you take as a precious opportunity to create something new in your liking, out of what your given, practicing your magic skills, your spiritual power? What if you consciously choose who you want to be, and build your life around the greatest vision you have of yourself, knowing you can be anything you desire, and adjusting your mindset and habits and lifestyle accordingly? Play God. Explore your divine power alike the One. It loves to experience through you. Everything. Fill yourself up on experiences and explore who who are through that. Remember. Choose your journey. Thrive on love. You are the creator of everything you experience !✨✨
I love to get high. On love, on life, on the richness of my inner world. On anything. Fuck I get high alone by sensing the Eternal Oneness of All within, surrendering into this feeling with every breath Is a true fast track to bliss. It’s our ecstasy in my chest. God is addictive because it just feels so fucking good. Divinity is my sanctuary. My medicine. My anchor. I love to play with energies inside of me and allow them to take me higher, altering my state of being on the go, always curious to explore new levels, new facets, new experiences. I love to experiment with my brain chemistry through sheer will power and imagination and belief and rise above mental limitations, up into states that chemicals taught me, but I’m more powerful than drugs. I create my own. Within. My inner world is my science lab, my playground and my magic place. Rock bottom and madness helped me believe that anything is possible, as long as I believe, because they let me drown in nothingness until I found the light, until I realized my own power. And it’s unlimitedness. They catapulted me into the search for more in life, for higher meaning and deeper truth, for my true nature and the base of existence, for freedom and realness. And what is even real? Everything we dare to create and nothing what we think to be. Drug states are my passion. The brought me into the world of higher states of consciousness, for which they are not even needed, all one needs is the unleashed power of heart and mind combined. And the courage to let go and dive into the mysteries of life beyond the limited reality and illusion of separation we are raised into. In truth, Love is all there. We are all there is at the same time. The potential to experience bliss, ecstasy, oneness, thrive, it’s always there. Whatever you are capable of experiencing you can re create. With mind and heart power. Wake up. Free yourself. Explore. You are so much more than you think. Life is so much more than you think. This state is so much more than you think ✨✨
I am reinventing myself anew.
Not like the millions of times before where I was just building another personality, on top of the inner confusion and emptiness and mess that I tried to escape from, desperate for something to cling onto in my lost existence. No, this time I jumped right Into the nothingness, and found myself. Beyond. My essence, my eternal nature. I AM, and that’s all I need to know. I am a soul. However, a soul having a human experience. And none of who I thought I was is real. All of my thoughts, my perception of the world, my limiting belief system, my so called personality, all a lie, built upon the illusion that I am not lovable and good enough the way I am.
That’s what I have been creating from until now. And I am damn exited to see what is possible when I switch this paradigm and operate from a place of I can, and I am good enough the way I am. From self love.
The only 3 ultimate truth I know for sure know are I Am. I AM LOVE. I AM A SOUL in a body.
And I just take it from there. Anchored in my divinity, I just observe. All of the thoughts and emotions passing through me, passing by, letting go, surrendering.
I am building a new belief system from scratch. With the core belief that I am lovable the way I am. That I am good enough the way I am. And let this truth Infiltrate into everything else I think, about myself and the work around me. I build a new realty based on love. On feeling full from within and overflowing outwards. Of believing in myself and my capabilities in creating anything my soul desires. Because that’s what we’re all here for. To fulfill our souls calling. And our soul is unlimited and all powerful, one with the eternal everything. So I let go of the perceived limitations of my personal self and jump right into the ocean of inner ecstasy limitless possibilities of my True Self and and take it from there, day by day, moment after moment, in the Now, because my soul knows the way, and all I need to do is trust and listen.
For my whole life I tried to be someone I am not. I tried to be everything I thought I had to be, never knowing who I was. Went against my entire being from birth onwards in order to be loved, accepted, good enough. When I was 15 I eventually hated my entire being so much and rejected myself to the core that In one desperate dark night when I simply couldn’t take it any longer I decided to create a new personality, from scratch. A personality designed for perfection, aimed at pleasing, to be loved, to be wanted, to make it in this society. To escape that inner excruciating pain of self hate and unworthiness that was eating me alive within. The blonde makeup mask that I put on became my protection shield, the shiny facade to hide my inner darkness, the mess I tried to run away from by any means.
Everything I did in the past was either subconsciously operated by fear, doubt, shame, insecurity, or was motivated by the desperate attempt to escape that inner feel of inadequacy, to finally feel good enough. Feel worthy of love.
And by now, I’m at a point in life, I just wanna be. I wanna play. I wanna flow and explore and dive deep and rise high. I wanna get high on love and dance through uncertainty. I wanna get full on art and get lost in the mysteries of life, I wanna create magic and bliss and be so absorbed in the present moment that time and space become irrelevant. I just wanna be. No pretending, no hiding, just being. I am so done fighting against myself and struggling to make it in life because I was resisting my true nature. By daring to go back to that abyss of my deepest fear and pain and this time instead of running jumping right into it, i became free. I shed my old personality. Broke my old paradigm. Found a new reality full of light abs limitless possibility. My highest priority at the moment is to just explore who I really am. Both the state of beings of my eternal soul nature as well as all the facets of my human experience. We are souls embodied in flesh. After a lifetime of self rejection and playing a role, I am so so curious to get to know myself. To feel myself. To show up as myself. To be head over heels in love with myself. In love with life✨
The next thing I love to do every day to spice up my life experience is to turn my way to any destination into a beauty trip where I just look for things that I find beautiful. I take a mental picture and store it in my subconscious mind, thereby reprogramming it with positive images and experiences but also training it to look out for those in the first place. Make it your daily goal to perceive and fully absorb at least 5 things that you find so beautiful that you shortly stop and marvel at the divine miracle of life. Be it a gorgeous flower on your way to work, or the glittering sun or a special piece of architecture or the glowing face of a baby, learn to appreciate and enjoy the simply things that we are blessed to experience each day, for free. There is so so so much beauty all around us as soon as we get out of our heads and learn to see with our hearts again. At the end of the day, you can play a short mental movie in your mind, flowing through all the mental snap shots you have taken throughout the day, and you’ll go to bed with a smile and the realization that you were truly blessed to experience this abundance of beauty all around you this day.
And last of all, I make damn sure that I have at least one thing everyday that I am super excited about, that I look forward to, that really makes me feel passionate about my day ahead.
Fill your days with things that bring you personally joy, and this doesn’t have to be anything fancy or expensive, but much rather should turn your soul on and light you up from within. Collect memories, get rich in experiences by trying new things, and find joy in the simple things in life. Experiment with your routines and get creative how you can turn your own life into a magical mystery. It’s always up to us to create a life experience we are excited and enthusiastic about, so put yourself into the role of the creator and get dirty and play. You can love your life, right here, right now, no matter what the circumstances, just take your power back and start to cultivate the bliss within ✨✨
Post workout bliss and fruit heaven - I love to start my day with things that make me feel high✨✨ That I can feel high naturally anywhere anytime was the greatest revelation of my life, and since then I got so passionate about cultivating an inner world and creating an outer life that makes me vibrate ecstasy on a daily basis. I love to experiment with my state of being and see how high I can get, from within. Love is life and life is love, so join me on my daily mission to make the most out of every day and become our highest version✨✨ you can cultivate the bliss inside of you. Every morning upon opening my eyes I shower myself in positive thinking, telling myself that I love myself and my life right here right now, that I am grateful to be alive on this beautiful planet and excited for the magic this day has on hold for me. I remind myself that I am unlimited and capable to achieve anything as I just believe, and I get up with the intention to be the creator of my own experience and play, with whatever life gives me, turning it into gold. Whatever pumps you up, send yourself on your own mission to create the life you love, as every day anew brings the opportunity to create a completely new reality. Than throughout the day, I bathe myself in gratitude vibrations because nothing rewires the brain as easily on positivity as an overdose of gratitude. Really go over board with it, and by that I mean, express your thanks towards anything (!) you touch, possess, receive, give, encounter, experience. Let „I am grateful for ...“ be your most thought sentence :) starting from the water coming out of your tap and your tooth brush to each and ever bite you take, the clothes you wear, the traffic jam on your way to work and the missed deadline as much as the uplifting smile of a stranger and the sun shining in your face during lunch break, embrace it all. The good and the bad, it all just is, blessing you with experience. And suddenly you’ll realize how incredibly rich you are, feeling full from within, and how many reason there are to just be happy now. ( part 2 in next post )
Fall in love with becoming your highest version✨Not to reach perfection, but to see what you’re actually capable of. Capable of achieving and experiencing. To explore your full potential and soak in all of what life has to offer. You are here to play. Make working on yourself fun. We are way more likely to let go of and instead implement new habits when we associate pleasure with it. So talk yourself Into loving change and getting out of your comfort zone. Every thought and word is pure energy, vibrating at a certain frequency based on its nature. Releasing neurotransmitters into our bloodstream making us feel a certain way. So either your mindset is exposing your entire being to a biochemical environment of joy and excitement, or to fear and stress. Which determines your actions accordingly. Language is so powerful. Use it to your advantage. Call your endevour of change an exciting opportunity for growth, an adventure mission or your personal evolution, a mission to upgrade your whole life experience. To become your highest version. Trick yourself into being totally excited about it and very soon, you will naturally be. You pre create your reality in your mind. Visualize yourself having a bliss doing the things you really want to to in order to change your life. Go overboard with it, make it as vivid and ridiculously pleasant as possible. Your subconscious mind, not knowing the difference between something real or imaginary you visualize it, then has a roadmap what to focus on and by rehearsing it in your mind it feels like you have done it a couple of times already, establishing new neural pathways that makes it easier for you to actually push through with it in real life. Programm yourself for the life you desire. With joyful anticipation. Get a strong why and let it ignite a fire within you every morning anew, to get up and make the most of the day. To celebrate this new life opportunity to the fullest. Find your passions and fill your day with the things that personally bring you joy. Experiment and find out what works for you and what lights you up from within and focus on that, always. You create your life from the inside out, so with a positive ⬇️⬇️
Imagine yourself being on a mission to become your highest version. Imagine being super excited to get up every morning to explore what your capable of, in mind, body and spirit. To explore what is possible in this life time, how high you can get, to what level you can upgrade your whole experience. Adopt the premise that you are unlimited and capable of creating anything you like, because you are. You are powerful beyond measure. So play with the universe, hand in hand, and rise higher daily. Play with what life gives you and turn it into gold. Spice up your life and take on roles that light you up. Be the magician, the artist, the hero, the scientist, the mystic. Experiment with all of you because you are so much more than you think, and never who you think you are. Be aware of your eternal nature, of the soul that you are, while exploring the whole range of human experiences. You are here to experience. To evolve. To Grow. And to enjoy this whole up and down ride to the fullest. Instead of dreading the process, talk yourself Into loving it. Words have power. Call it an opportunity for growth, an exciting adventure, a valuable experience for your highest evolution, a chance to get to know yourself better and see what your capable of. And most of all, to make the most out of this beautiful life experience you were given. So ask yourself daily: how can I make the most out of this ? How can I turn this obstacle into an opportunity ? How can I dare greatly today?
Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone and expand beyond your current limitations, to realize again and again that they were illusory and self made in the first place. There is no limit to the bliss within. Magic is real. You are ecstasy. Just get fucking curious and excited about everyday and what it holds for you, decide to be happy no matter what, and always remember your mission to make the most out of this adventure on planet earth, in alignment with your soul and your personal idea of bliss and fulfillment. You are divine. ✨✨
Make it your Daily Mission to explore your own Happiness potential. EXPERIMENT WITH HOW HIGH YOU CAN POSSIBLY GET✨✨ And realize that there is no limit but your own mind. Love is our true essence. Health is our natural state of being. We are born to thrive. We have just forgotten who and what we are, run by our own destructive subconscious programming, playing out negative thought and behavior patterns when in fact we can all create a reality full of bliss. From the inside out. Anytime. Anywhere. When you simply make the decision to be happy and enjoy your Here and Now, and adjust your lifestyle accordingly, by eliminating everything that no longer serves you and integrate high vibrancy habits and thoughts, life flows naturally into a more positive direction. And there are so many simple ways how we can fill our days with more positivity and raise our vibration along the way. For example, make sure that you have something to look forward to when you get up, something that you are truly excited about that day. Whether it is trying something new, pursuing a passion or just taking some Soul time out. We have it in our own hands to spice up our own life and integrate things that personally bring us joy, outside of our routine, that make us feel alive, in love with life. And this can be as simple as trying out a new workout class or recipe, meeting a friend for coffee or taking a bubble bath, or painting. Fill your life with things that make you happy and see how it lights up your whole world from within. Daily. And by broadcasting out positivity into the world, we automatically attract more of it, making us even happier, so allow this feedback loop to take you higher and higher and just celebrate life to the fullest. All of it, no matter what happens. Cultivate your own inner ecstasy. Get addicted to love. To loving your life, this whole existence, and everyone and everything within it. ✨✨
Old picture but beautiful memory. I can still feel this energy within me ✨✨ At the beginning of my awakening journey about 2 years ago I used to go to church in my lunch breaks, not because I was so religious, in fact I had an atheist upbringing and never truly had concept about or connection to God for most of my life, however the church was my refuge of stillness in the middle of the busy loud city center in which I lived then, my only true place of quietness in the middle of chaos, my anchor in a reality full of depression and anxiety and burnout. And whenever I came out there, my world glowed a bit more, I felt higher, lighter, uplifted. And this was my bliss. My start into a journey of a lifetime. Little did I know back then that this was just a glimpse of what is actually possible, a drop of the ocean of inner ecstasy that the connection to divinity within blesses you with, the more you open up to it. The experience of God within changed my whole life. For me, God is not about any religious rules or rituals or concepts, but just about LOVE. ECSTASY. BLISS. ONENESS. INFINITE LIGHT✨✨ It is our true nature of being. We all have divinity within us!
Remembering this is my anchor in challenging times. This knowing brings me through darkness. It was in those feeling experiences of God within that I found peace within a reality that I struggled with so much, where I could accept my Now and find faith in the future. Where I could just surrender. Because in truth, this love is all there is. And when you have this within, nothing else truly matters.
I was recently in a church for the first time in over a year and actually totally forgot about the effects they had on me priorly, but when I came out my third eye pulsated so heavily and I literally felt so micro dose acid high that it just showed me again what healing effects the presence of god has. How it uplifts and elevates. How it reassures and calms and gently guides in the right direction. Spirit is everything. Let go of any (possibly limiting) mental concept of God you had before, and dare to go onto an exploration into your inner world to find the hidden treasures of inner bliss that light up your whole world