Let’s play a game together. A game to spice up your life right here right now with a simple inner change that makes your whole experience of the day ten times more fulfilling and meaningful, touching and miraculous. Making the most out of your life starts with making the most out of every single day. It’s the simple things in your own hands that step by step change the bigger picture. But it always starts Here Now. So, let’s begin with absorbing ourselves into this magical place and becoming aware of all that is going on around us. Go slow today. You are on an important exploration. Find an anchor point for your awareness in your body, be it your heart space, the middle of your head, your upper body, whatever works best for you. Breathe into it and feel yourself becoming calmer and more present. Notice what you haven’t noticed before. Feel yourself. Feel the Now. And with this centered awareness, you move through the day. And observe. And truly experience every step, every view, every task for the very first time. To stay anchored, use “Now” as your mantra with every out-breath and sink deeper and deeper into Being. And, because life is not a thinking but feeling experience, challenge yourself to collect as many feeling experiences throughout the day as you can. Be it the the warm sun rays caressing your skin, the beautiful view of a scene of nature that gives you chills, the taste of your food, a hug of a loved one, the texture of a cosy blanket.
Be so insanely present in the Now that you feel every moment to the depth of your being. Every experience touching you deeply, showing you the richness of life in all its flavors. Soak them in and store them so that you can bring them up later again as let the good feeling flow through you. Making you feel high on the go.
Not only does it help you stay more present throughout the day, it also makes you to be more attuned to the immense beauty of life all around us, and by focusing on the good, on every thing that gives us a positive feeling, we reprogram ourselves to look out for those and automatically attract more of them into our life. Because there is so much beauty all around us every moment of every day, we ⬇️⬇️
Whenever I try to be something, I loose myself. Whenever I am identified with something, I suffer. Yet whenever I let go of everything, I return. I feel my presence arising from beyond. My eternal essence. The field of energy that I am, the ocean of love embodied in flesh. Because that’s all we are in truth. Limitless Love.
My favorite fast track to bliss at the moment is to remind myself as often as possible during the day to let go. Of everything. Everything that got me caught up in my mind, everything that feels heavy in my heart, everything that is distracting and paralyzing and draining me. Of everything that i am not. And I just breathe it gone and move deeply into my heart space, so deep into the Now, that there is nothing else but this present moment. Because really there isn’t. Only ecstasy. From a detached witness position, you see that all your struggles are mind made, self created and illusory, labeled as negative and bad, when in fact it’s just a neutral situation to play with. Just for one moment, imagine being a soul. Put yourself into the role of an infinite light being hungry for experience. Than you‘d actually be excited for everything coming your way because it blesses you with opportunities, contrasting situations, to explore and expand and experience yourself anew. And then instead of doing this for a moment, make it your daily Game. Walk through your life playing being a soul on a mission to rise. Absorb yourself into the role, feel it in your core. What you act like determines what you feel like determines what you experience. So see everything as a gift for you to explore your magician powers and turn it around in your liking. Eliminate good or bad and just say thank you to everything, having faith that it is happening for your highest good.⬇️⬇️
3 THINGS THAT SAVED ME FROM ANXIETY✨✨
➡️ Realize that you are not your fears, and than through consistent meditation practice, build up this seat of awareness where the conceptual knowing turns into embodied experience. Where you feel yourself as the witness watching all thoughts, emotions, sensations passing by like objects. Like clouds in the sky. The more you realize what you are not the more you remember who you are. The light and love underneath all the darkness. Be anchored in love as your natural state of being witnessing the fear. And let it go, again and again. Allow it to come up, every emotion stuck in your energy field, and let it pass right through you. See it as a big emotional cleanse. It is your liberation. Because it is only the resistance that causes the struggle while surrendering into it lets it burn away. In truth it’s all just energy being release. Make it your daily mission to just watch your thoughts and feelings and ihr curiosity, detach from the negative ones ( while still letting them pass through !) until the gap between you as the witness and these stuff as the phenomenon is so big that it is just an interesting experience to watch with curiosity. Because none of it is you. Play.
➡️ Movement. In a Daily Basis. Shake your body like nobodies watching, jump, dance, run, whatever brings you joy, the most important thing is that you release the stuck negative energy that has built up over the day. Everything we think a fearful thought our bodies go in fight or flight mode, however as there is hardly ever a fight or flight happening, we need to release the activated energy and burn the released cortisol otherwise. It’s so crucial to prevent this energy from making you tense and contracted and fueling this eternal feedback loop of anxious feeling - anxious thought - anxious feeling and so on. Jumping up and down or going on a short sprint when I feel anxiety arising always works wonders for me, helps so much with being calmer and more centered again and ensuring the free flow of energy.
➡️ Face your core fear at the depth of your psyche. The anxiety you experience is just a symptom of of a core fear coming from one or many limiting ⬇️⬇️
Two years ago through some lucky coincidence I was blessed to be catapulted into a higher state of consciousness that felt like Ecstasy rushing through my veins. And I know what Ecstasy feels like because I’ve been experiencing it chemically before more than enough times. But this was so different. So pure and Raw. At that point I have never felt as present in my life as in this moment and the days after. There was an incredible lightness in my chest, so much peace in my Being and the whole world glowed. Suddenly everything was beautiful, and I was happy from within no matter what, at a time where I was severely struggling with mental health and could hardly cope with my reality otherwise. I felt like suddenly experiencing a completely different one. And intuitively I knew somehow that I woke up. This was the first high push that I got to experience before my whole subconscious opened up and brought me my first excruciating fall right into my deepest pain, to cleanse everything that was in the way of experiencing this love as my natural state of being. Which was beyond disturbing given that I had no idea what was going on with me and I was just going mad, however the beginning experience got me hooked. The mere idea that I can feel THIS STATE naturally without any chemical carried me through the darkest months of my life in which pretty much every trauma I had suppressed throughout my life boiled to the surface and brought me to my knees, but also in a spiritual journey into the depth of my being and higher dimensions I never thought possible. My whole life before was a suffering existence covered up by numbness caught in the chasing of thrills to at least “feel” something once in a while, and I never even knew how miserable I was until I experienced this state. Which became everything to me. The experience that there is another side to my suffering, that all those beautiful states of being, like true joy and inner peace and most of all ecstatic love can arise from within, changed my whole life. Because now instead of searching outside, I go within. I go beyond. I embrace the darkness, in fact I jump right into it. Because i know that on the other side there Is
What helped me insanely much recently was the realization that I am not my suffering. Suffering is just another aspect of my human existence that I am here to experience. To witness. The more I detach from my personal self and move deeper and deeper into Being, letting go, letting everything pass right through, accepting whatever is, curious about every experience as an enriching contrast of life, the more I feel One with Spirit, experiencing firsthand the power of now. Centered in the Everything of All there is, in this precious moment. And this infinite vastness, this powerful stream of energy, this ocean of love that is opening up within is so worth the gloomy dark path that leads there. The more I fall in love with darkness, the more light opens up. The more I make peace with everything, find peace within anything, the world becomes a totally different place. Life becomes a totally different phenomenon. What stressed me out before becomes fuel for growth. What brought me to my knees becomes the catalyst for enlightenment. What frightened me before becomes the portal to my freedom. Breaking free from my own limitations and always just going beyond beyond beyond. Never felt so limitless. Powerful. Vast. And everyday holds new surprises. Both Uplifting and Uprooting. But all there is to do is smile and embrace. Let go and accept. Play and transform. Because none of that stuff truly matters, comes and goes in ups and downs. None of that is me anyway. I am the love underneath.
What would you be left with if everything you had was taken from you? ✨✨
I currently have no job, no income, no academic career, very soon no Appartement, no real world success in a any demonstrable way. So to say nothing of worth in this society.
Yet I never felt more free and at peace than ever before.
I spent my last two years on a crazy spiritual journey to the depth of my soul through the darkest of nights, breaking down layer upon layer of pain around my heart and ego conditioning that distracted me from who I am in essence.
So during the past weeks my soul ultimately lead me into a life situation that put me face to face with the core fear of my entire psyche. Having “Nothing”. Being a “Nobody”, in societies eyes.
And the underlying deep rooted feeling of inadequacy, the core pain in my heart around which I built my whole life and personality structure in the desperate attempt to never feel this again. And thereby subconsciously recreating exactly this experiences over and over. Because what we resist persists. What we fear we attract. What we carry on the inside we manifest on the outside. When in fact it’s just an experience. Just something to witness. And now, having sat through the waves of anxiety rolling through my chest, the sleepless nights and directionless days spent in absolute Nothingness, drowning in my own darkness once more, I am truly grateful for this experience. It was the greatest ego dissolving I experienced so far, and brought me deeper into my Being unlike anything else. Because it was letting go of any attachment and control and building, and instead just surrendering. Going within Asking the deeper questions. What do I condition my self worth on? Who am I, beyond outside success and achievements? What does success even mean to me? Who am I trying to be vs who am I really? Stripped of everything, what do I have to give to this world? What is my soul worth ?
For my whole life I tried to be someone I am not, to make it in this society, only to fill the monstrous hole of unworthiness inside, to calm the cruel voices in my mind. And then again, nothing that I hustled to achieve on the outside could ever fill that emptiness on ⬇️⬇️
So last months I fucked up my own brain chemistry so hard through my own mental experimentation that I literally couldn’t think anymore and was thrown into a very fascinating state of just Being.
I felt like I was catapulted into the experience of losing my mind in such depth that I had no concept of anything anymore, including myself, and as the mere attempt to remember the most random stuff, like what I did the week before, was outright painful in my brain and made me delirious, I eventually surrendered into this floaty nothingness, and connected to my spirit on levels unlike ever before. Actually I felt my Spirit being in my body unlike ever before. Talking to me. Guiding me. Guiding me into letting go and starting anew, which is easy when you don’t remember, and tempting when the old wasn’t working out for you anyway. And by completely losing myself, by letting go of the persona I had created over years without knowing, I could finally see that none of that was actually Me. My True Self and Truth was hidden under layers of Ego conditioning that was ruling my life. This was the greatest ego dissolving I have experienced so far and despite it being insanely confusing and scary at times, it is PURE LIBERATION, because I feel like I finally hit the rock bottom of illusions and can see through this complex web of fears that were the foundation of my psyche✨✨
I love the occasional drug experimentations for enlightenment but what I love even more is experiencing higher states of consciousness in a natural way and this was definitely a new level, or much rather a new depth. Which proves to me again and again that there is so much more to this reality than we are raised to believe. That there are higher states of being in which this whole experience of life is so much more intense, complex, intriguing, and fulfilling. When we let go of all this mental chatter and clinging to what are ego holds onto, and just move deeply into Being, into the Now.
I‘m not saying to give yourself brain damage, I’m aware of the fact that I overdid it this time with my own experimentation and I’m grateful that after a couple of weeks I feel somewhat healthy, capable of remembering
The past weeks I struggled a lot with myself. Over summer I reached a new natural high state that went above any euphoria, energy and bliss I ever experienced before and I got so used to thriving on this new level, or I guess I also simply got so addicted to getting higher and higher and higher, that I almost forgot that given the natural laws there inevitably is also another side to it, and with the change of season into the dark time of the year coming, in combination with me being knocked and burnt out by my own highness experimentation, I fell into a low of utter confusion and anxiety, feeling as lost and disconnected as I haven’t in a long time. And as I struggled with mental health issues for as long as I can remember I resisted really hard to go down to that place again, trying my best to get back into my all happy positive state, until the past days something clicked. And I realized once again that everything goes in cycles.
That there is no high without the low, in fact I never could have even risen as high as this summer without knowing so much darkness in the first place. And by falling in love with my own darkness, by making peace with all of me, my inner peace came back. Resistance vanished.
There is so much beauty and power in the lows of life, for they teach us, shake up our paradigm, point us in new directions and allow us to be reborn with a cleansed perception, Filters taken from our eyes and barriers broken around our hearts. We rise out of the fall. In fact it is all one, light and darkness, high and low, fear and love, all just opposing extremes, different polarities of the same quality. But all one. Remembering that all in life is happening for me, that everything is temporary and I am always exactly where I am supposed to be for the highest evolution for my soul are life savers in times of struggle. Or let’s call it expansion. Change. Growth time. Mindset is everything in navigating through the uprooted chaos within. So fall deeply in love with your own darkness. It’s the necessary contrast to your infinite light. Accept and embrace all of you, and all of life. Than there is no such thing as suffering, only Flow.
To change your life into the one you desire, create new paradigms. Like creating new worlds. Daydream yourself into the reality you would like to experience, under the premise that anything is possible, make it as detailed and vivid and insanely pleasant as possible and get high on it. Imagine this is your present reality already and then get up to it every morning. How would you feel? How would you show up? What would you do ? Choose who you want to be, create the greatest version of yourself you can envision, and than live up to that role every day, every minute, until it becomes you. Adjust your thoughts and words and actions, your whole lifestyle, around that new self image and life vision. Until dream becomes reality. Play with your power, channel it into the creation of your own bliss and see what you’re capable of. Make it fun. Imagine being a magician that can turn anything into gold and than just get curious about how. Replace Impossible with I Can. Replace doubt with unshakable belief. Operate under unlimitedness. Always hold the visual image in completed form in your mind and let your heart guide you there. For any manifested reality is eventually nothing else than what it started as, a picture in the mind. For our external circumstances to change, the change must always be made within first. So go within. Date your soul to know what it desires to experience, to create. And than let this desire be your daily mission to fulfill, your standard to live up to, your roadmap to guide you through daily life, your safe ticket to bliss and success. Your soul knows the way. Create in its calling✨✨ #followyourbliss#yoursoulknowstheway#soulexpansion#vibratehigherdaily#createyourownbliss#naturalecstasy#changefromwithin#journeyofchange#leveluplife#whatveganslooklike#glowfromwithin#highonlife#createyourlife#selfgrowthjunkie#spiritualgangsters#hippieatheart#risinghigher#buildyourdreamlife#bethecreator#soulrevolution#daretodreambig#ownyourlife#youarepowerful#imaginationiseverything
What if you just forgot everything you knew about yourself, thought about yourself, and started over anew? Without the limiting stories of your past, the negative belief system and the illusionary fears, that we so often let define who we are. What if you simply let go of everything that cages you to an old paradigm and self image that doesn’t serve you and surrendered into nothingness with infinite possibility ?
What if you just created something completely new? Something so glorious and fulfilling and blissful that you get high on it daily, a reality that lights you up from within, that turns your soul on. What if you just created from love? From Pouring LOVE into every one of your thoughts, words, actions, your relationships and experiences and decisions. Build an ECSTASY paradigm where everything just glows and flows. What if you tapped Into your divine nature and let your soul guide the way, following it with curiosity and openness into the most enriching contrasting experiences for your highest evolution? What if you embraced all of life? What if you just treated every new day, every moment, every breath you take as a precious opportunity to create something new in your liking, out of what your given, practicing your magic skills, your spiritual power? What if you consciously choose who you want to be, and build your life around the greatest vision you have of yourself, knowing you can be anything you desire, and adjusting your mindset and habits and lifestyle accordingly? Play God. Explore your divine power alike the One. It loves to experience through you. Everything. Fill yourself up on experiences and explore who who are through that. Remember. Choose your journey. Thrive on love. You are the creator of everything you experience !✨✨
I love to get high. On love, on life, on the richness of my inner world. On anything. Fuck I get high alone by sensing the Eternal Oneness of All within, surrendering into this feeling with every breath Is a true fast track to bliss. It’s our ecstasy in my chest. God is addictive because it just feels so fucking good. Divinity is my sanctuary. My medicine. My anchor. I love to play with energies inside of me and allow them to take me higher, altering my state of being on the go, always curious to explore new levels, new facets, new experiences. I love to experiment with my brain chemistry through sheer will power and imagination and belief and rise above mental limitations, up into states that chemicals taught me, but I’m more powerful than drugs. I create my own. Within. My inner world is my science lab, my playground and my magic place. Rock bottom and madness helped me believe that anything is possible, as long as I believe, because they let me drown in nothingness until I found the light, until I realized my own power. And it’s unlimitedness. They catapulted me into the search for more in life, for higher meaning and deeper truth, for my true nature and the base of existence, for freedom and realness. And what is even real? Everything we dare to create and nothing what we think to be. Drug states are my passion. The brought me into the world of higher states of consciousness, for which they are not even needed, all one needs is the unleashed power of heart and mind combined. And the courage to let go and dive into the mysteries of life beyond the limited reality and illusion of separation we are raised into. In truth, Love is all there. We are all there is at the same time. The potential to experience bliss, ecstasy, oneness, thrive, it’s always there. Whatever you are capable of experiencing you can re create. With mind and heart power. Wake up. Free yourself. Explore. You are so much more than you think. Life is so much more than you think. This state is so much more than you think ✨✨
I am reinventing myself anew.
Not like the millions of times before where I was just building another personality, on top of the inner confusion and emptiness and mess that I tried to escape from, desperate for something to cling onto in my lost existence. No, this time I jumped right Into the nothingness, and found myself. Beyond. My essence, my eternal nature. I AM, and that’s all I need to know. I am a soul. However, a soul having a human experience. And none of who I thought I was is real. All of my thoughts, my perception of the world, my limiting belief system, my so called personality, all a lie, built upon the illusion that I am not lovable and good enough the way I am.
That’s what I have been creating from until now. And I am damn exited to see what is possible when I switch this paradigm and operate from a place of I can, and I am good enough the way I am. From self love.
The only 3 ultimate truth I know for sure know are I Am. I AM LOVE. I AM A SOUL in a body.
And I just take it from there. Anchored in my divinity, I just observe. All of the thoughts and emotions passing through me, passing by, letting go, surrendering.
I am building a new belief system from scratch. With the core belief that I am lovable the way I am. That I am good enough the way I am. And let this truth Infiltrate into everything else I think, about myself and the work around me. I build a new realty based on love. On feeling full from within and overflowing outwards. Of believing in myself and my capabilities in creating anything my soul desires. Because that’s what we’re all here for. To fulfill our souls calling. And our soul is unlimited and all powerful, one with the eternal everything. So I let go of the perceived limitations of my personal self and jump right into the ocean of inner ecstasy limitless possibilities of my True Self and and take it from there, day by day, moment after moment, in the Now, because my soul knows the way, and all I need to do is trust and listen.
For my whole life I tried to be someone I am not. I tried to be everything I thought I had to be, never knowing who I was. Went against my entire being from birth onwards in order to be loved, accepted, good enough. When I was 15 I eventually hated my entire being so much and rejected myself to the core that In one desperate dark night when I simply couldn’t take it any longer I decided to create a new personality, from scratch. A personality designed for perfection, aimed at pleasing, to be loved, to be wanted, to make it in this society. To escape that inner excruciating pain of self hate and unworthiness that was eating me alive within. The blonde makeup mask that I put on became my protection shield, the shiny facade to hide my inner darkness, the mess I tried to run away from by any means.
Everything I did in the past was either subconsciously operated by fear, doubt, shame, insecurity, or was motivated by the desperate attempt to escape that inner feel of inadequacy, to finally feel good enough. Feel worthy of love.
And by now, I’m at a point in life, I just wanna be. I wanna play. I wanna flow and explore and dive deep and rise high. I wanna get high on love and dance through uncertainty. I wanna get full on art and get lost in the mysteries of life, I wanna create magic and bliss and be so absorbed in the present moment that time and space become irrelevant. I just wanna be. No pretending, no hiding, just being. I am so done fighting against myself and struggling to make it in life because I was resisting my true nature. By daring to go back to that abyss of my deepest fear and pain and this time instead of running jumping right into it, i became free. I shed my old personality. Broke my old paradigm. Found a new reality full of light abs limitless possibility. My highest priority at the moment is to just explore who I really am. Both the state of beings of my eternal soul nature as well as all the facets of my human experience. We are souls embodied in flesh. After a lifetime of self rejection and playing a role, I am so so curious to get to know myself. To feel myself. To show up as myself. To be head over heels in love with myself. In love with life✨