Finding it hard to keep going today. I’ve had a few big setbacks and its hard to see the point of keeping on going. I know I need to keep fighting but its just so hard when I can’t think of a reason to keep fighting anymore
Hoping against hope that this is true. Had a terrible day today. Went and saw a new psychologist for the first time to work on some trauma stuff (and yes she knows about my ed) next minute she goes off on a lecture about things I should be cutting out of my diet to help my mental health that totally set off my ed. I know she was wrong to say that stuff and I know what she said isn’t true but part of me wants it to be and it would be so so easy for me to just follow her dieting advice - it’s prescribed by a professional after all! I’m torn
Message to self just as much as everyone else.
I’ve really been neglecting this account. I look at others posts but feel scared to post anything myself. It’s that perfectionism I can’t seem to escape from but I realise now when things are near their worst that staying silent and watching as the world passes me by does me no good. Instead I want to try reaching out for support and community. If you’ll still have me.
So tonight was a disaster with family dinner. My parents cooked food they know I'm not okay eating and then started with the comments about my intake and weight. I'm barely holding on. The only good thing is that today is almost over and tomorrow I can start again #family#edrecovery#fearfood#recoveringaussies#holdon
I'm starting this ig account to keep me acccountable during my recovery, and as a reminder of what to fight for, what is ahead and what I am leaving behind. The good and the bad. The honesty. There is no better time than now