A few days ago I shared a story about the challenge of building a brand through your fashion choices, and I got so many replies, I figured I’d elaborate! (I also created a highlight called “Style” if you want to check those videos out!)
After I speak at a conference, the organizers usually send audience feedback a few weeks later. A recent batch of evaluations included praise for my “killer” leather pants. ——
To some, this may be creepy, but it actually meant a lot to me! And here’s why:
There’s so much pressure on women in the public sphere to look “put together” at all times. But there’s also no crash course on how to do this when you find yourself in a public job. You wake up on day and realize the expectations have changed. I used to feel really insecure, especially as I watched all these amazing female speakers rocking the stage. I didn’t know about fashion, hair, makeup... I was just... me.
After I opened up about this with some fellow female public figures, they shared that they DIDN’T do it all on their own! They enlisted the help of stylists, tailors, makeup artists, hairdressers, branding experts and more to look to effortlessly chic. ——
But here’s the thing. You don’t know that from Instagram, a quick happy hour conversation, or seeing someone on stage. It’s so easy to think something’s wrong with you because you can’t achieve alone what others have achieved with a tribe of supporters behind the scenes. ——
So, earlier this year I made a commitment to start enlisting help from experts who could help me build the business and the life I wanted. I hired a branding expert to rebrand my company and website and make it look as awesome as it is. I started seeing a therapist to work on the things that could hold me back. I started working with a stylist so I could look as confident as I was feeling, I joined masterminds and hired an assistant. I built a tribe.
Why am I telling you this? Because whoever you’re looking up to has help. Don’t compare yourself to their team. Build a team. That’s what pros do, and I know you’re a pro too.
Most of the time, I try not to get stuck in the past. But sometimes it’s so powerful to look back and see how far you’ve come. . . .
This time three years ago, I was just laying the groundwork for my business. This time two years ago, I was just about to match my corporate salary on my own. This time last year, I paid off my student loans and decided to use that monthly payment to invest in myself; I found coaches, a therapist, a stylist, a tribe. . . .
As I was editing an updated speaking demo reel, sorting through clips from the last few years, I could see all that growth on display. I’m more confident, more deliberate with my body movements, more selective with my word choices and more powerful in my pacing. . . .
Give yourself the gift of reflection this weekend. Acknowledge how far you’ve come. You’ve earned it. . . .
This weekend, Yasin and I finally got to celebrate our marriage with so many family and friends from near and far. The outpouring of love and support throughout this year-and-a-half journey toward becoming husband and wife has been amazing, and I’m so excited for this chapter of our lives together. I love you Yas. Here’s to forever! ♥️ #bride#isaidyes#libertystatepark#weremarried#misstomrs#njgirl#weddingday#couplegoals