.15mm lines! A gift from my mother during her visit to Guelph. ❤️
The Air BnB my mom and I are at has massive coffee mugs the size of my head.
Basilica of Our Lady Immaculate
PrePEARing for my afternoon snack while being out and about.
Throw back Thursday with a bit of then and now. I remember looking like a boy in the soccer photo. It was not my choice but my long hair was a pain for my mom to cut so the next best thing was apparently a bowl cut lmfao. This experience clearly didn’t stop me from pulling a Brittany Spears before Brittany did it. I’m much more comfortable with long hair. Baby photo- 8 years- 25 years- 38 years.
Running low on ink. Lmao. Zoom in for details. ❤️
Improving my time away from my family these days by focusing on things that remind me of them. Miss these boys sooo much.
My favourite baby pic of today’s birthday boy with his dad. ❤️
8 years ago Jan 12th this kid came into the world. He has added an amazing amount of creativity, imagination, excitement and emotion into our lives. I am so grateful for his place in our family and can’t wait to get home to spoil him and his brother with love and attention. Happy Birthday kiddo. ❤️
Just a bunch of lines.
Another canvas, another day of distraction and distress tolerance. I got skills yo.
Celebrating New Years Eve with a home cooked meal and these lovely ladies. ❤️
I am successful at getting in my components while on pass by myself (with a little extra). Lunch was the first meal I gradually gave up when I felt like things were out of my control. You cannot run on an empty tank. Looking back, 2018 was a scary year of diving into many ED behaviours that brought me close to death by August. I took no joy in the things that used to bring me life. I was passing out far to much and my extremities and limbs would seize up like a dead insect. The obsession with the scale and the need to control an irrelevant number to the decimal point drove me to fall further and further into my ED. I felt helpless because of the things I could not change in my life and hopeless that things would improve. Diet culture and it’s obsession on striving for perfection just reinforced my obsession with control. I am told it is possible to live a balanced life without the obsession of eating rigidly or exercising excessively and I hold on to this idea as hope for my future. I want my kids to have a mom that is less obsessed with control and more able to be present with them. I want to find a way of coping with the shitty things from the past and bad things that may continue to happen in the future, so as to keep them from trying to steer me off course into destructive terrain. This journey is a lot of work and tears, but I highly recommend it.
12 years ago today(Dec 31st) I gave birth to this precious kid. He was one of two children that changed our lives forever. I am so broken up that I won’t be there in person to celebrate the day of his birth with him, but I plan on giving him the gift of a well mom. Feel free to call @iron_buddha to wish him a happy birthday! I love you to the 7 planets and back kiddo. ❤️
Back to treatment I go. I am pulling out all my skills to master the rest of today. I miss my family already. On the plus side I got all the components I needed for my supper in the air from Freshii (was not paid to say this lol). My caloric beverage and dessert are not in the photo ❤️.
@punkmixtape and @raeanned thanks for letting us dog sit Charlie for the week. ❤️❤️❤️
Well it has been a year of tough stuff. I hate tough stuff and we’ve had a lot of it over the years, but this last year was the year of the straw that broke the camel’s back (yes, I am calling myself a camel 🐫). Next year we will be going on 13 years of marriage and it has definitely not been all rainbows and butterflies, but it will be 13 years of the most colourful and adventurous years of my life. We have done a lot of growing up together, taking each other for granted, leaning into each other, trying to understand each other, explain things to each other, forgive each other, resist resenting each other, unintentionally hurting each other and working at healing alongside one another. Marriage is not always easy, and it is certainly not for everyone, but I am grateful for what we have survived and weathered by supporting each other. I have faith in US and the love we have for each other and our kids. These last 3 months have been difficult as I have had to temporarily walk away from the role of being the primary parent, financial manager, parent chauffeur, educational and disability rights advocate, family health care aid, toenail cutter, chef and lunch packer, secondary income earner, house and laundry cleaner, family administrative assistant, and loving hug and quirky bedtime routine provider. I was really afraid to relinquish my control over these things to my partner, but I did. He is definitely not doing things the way I would and that is ok. I am grateful that he has risen to the challenge and is working hard to provide me with the peace of mind in knowing that he is capable and trustworthy and is providing our kids with the reassurance that they are loved and cared for. Our relationship is definitely complicated and sometimes chaotic, but I couldn’t imagine having to trust the most important things in my life to anyone else other than this guy. I love you babe. ❤️