This little one would have celebrated her 36th Birthday today! *Warning: Sentimental stuff ahead!
She was my best friend and my greatest teacher. One week ago, vivid memories of our time together popped up in my head, and I couldn’t help but to cry like a baby. I was a stubborn teenager and for sure, she didn’t always have an easy time with me. I challenged her to jump high fences and master the rules of dressage. She was truly scared of cows, and I didn’t miss a single chance to let her face the source of her fear, always risking to fly off her back in cartoon-style (I thought, she would get over it, but she never did). Her neck was super sensitive, and she loved it when I groomed it and hated me when I pinched it. She had to drive to tournaments with me and she’d try everything to avoid the driving part. Still, once there she showed off and won one prize after the other. She fought like a tiger for me.
She got to feel my deepest love by extensive fur treatments and carefully prepared meals, which were probably healthier than what I ate at the time. She got to feel my anger when she followed her own rules and not mine. She let me cuddle her when I was sad. She threw me off her back probably 500 times when she’s had enough of me. She mostly knew what I wanted of her, but usually didn’t obey my will. She taught me to stay humble and that ambition is not everything.
She still is my teacher - I’m learning to forgive myself for all I could have done better. To acknowledge my own imperfections, my ignorance and to accept the fact I can never go back. Her memory makes me care more for the people and beings I’m surrounded by. I become softer and more loving, and my memories of her provide the fuel for cultivating more kindness, love, thoughtfulness and care.
It’s a sentimental memory and I have no clue why all of a sudden she’s so present in my life. She passed away years ago, after spending the last decade of her life on the meadows of the most beautiful part in Austria, with her herd and lots of sweet people around. I wish I’d visited her more often in her late days…
Happy Birthday, Romy! I’m so grateful you were part of my life!
Instagram has trained me to jump up and run to take a picture whenever I see a rainbow these days. 🧐
I’m not the only one. When I captured this, 5 others immediately followed me 😁
And you? Do you run for rainbows 🌈?
I thought it might be time to post something on instagram. Not that I have a plan. Not that I know what I’m doing. But if anything, this account is a very incomplete visual diary. Of course a very selective one too. Everyone knows, I guess, that an Instagram account usually has little to do with a person’s actual life.
At least I don’t expect from myself or any social medium to authentically represent me or my life. The only thing that’s valid to say is that it’s (mostly) made by me.
And still I’m wondering often what I do and what to do next and why I do what I do and why I don’t do what I’d like me to do and why I think it’s good what I’d like me to do and finally what I end up doing. And why. Even on Instagram.
So much to think about, it’s no surprise I’m so slow 😁 Here’s a picture of the ‚dramatic selfie series‘ from my boat trip in Raja Ampat earlier this year.
Good morning Raja Ampat!
This is the sunrise from one of the more popular places of this pretty remote area of the world. They built a jetty and stairs all the way up to the top for the visit of the president, who then never showed up. But we did and enjoyed the rather easy ascent to the view point 😁
One of my favorite beaches - Sanur. It’s the only place I know in Bali where you can walk on the beach, or more precisely next to it, for miles and miles. Or kilometers and kilometers, if you prefer that. While doing so, you’ll walk through worlds: you’ll walk through 5star resorts, balinese shops, restaurants, bars, nothingness, temples, spas - it’s a complete Bali experience. For me it’s a place where so much has started.
It was my first destination on my first Bali trip 2010. I didn’t like at all. 🤭
It was here when I came to meet my mother during my PhD research for a holiday, that should never end 😆😍
It was here where we laid the foundation for our natural cosmetics business while being part of another product based project.
And I don’t know what comes next, but we’ve been called back to this place by a new opportunity just a week ago. It involves boats, the ocean and heading east, all of which can be seen in this picture.
My life - or more accurately my mind- is sometimes pretty messy. But I’m taking the development of my ability to enjoy its breathtaking gifts quite seriously. Even if I manage to do it only retrospectively. Snapshots like this one serve as a reminder ❤️
Drawing life lines from the periphery to the centre. What’s there that’s not here where we are?
What else is possible: Mandalas, Mandarins, Mondays, moondays, doomsdays, doorways, always, in case, high face, a phase…. (please continue!)
Now this doesn’t make any sense 🧐🤪✌️@mox.ist
This is a shot from erupting Mount Agung taken with my phone at one of my morning walks. Not quite as spectacular as the ones in the media, but it’s pretty much how we saw it a few days ago from Ubud.
As beautiful and natural this process is, being near an erupting volcano is not so great from what I can tell so far (surprise!). Part of me is in awe to witness this. Part of me deeply resists it and what might come next. I have empathy for the evacuees and the Balinese in general, who to a large extent rely on tourism.
Ubud lies in the “inconvenient zone”, so it’s considered safe but may become inconvenient through ash rain, which is harmful for the respiratory system. We didn’t get lots of ash yet but the quality of air was poor in those last days.
Many people I know suffer from headaches, itchy eyes, coughing, flu like symptoms. I simply feel like I haven’t slept for days, even though I’m doing nothing but sleeping. My concentration level dropped to zero.
If it wasn’t for all the work and fun waiting for me, I’d even say it’s a quite blissful state. Not many thoughts, deep relaxation, no sense of urgency. Enlightenment through the volcano? Or sulphur dioxide?
Either way, we have a good reason to leave. But I find a million reasons not to leave. The conclusion for now: If I feel better, I will stay. If not, I will leave and come back.
Please send good vibes and, if you care, consider making a donation to the inhabitants of this beautiful island. It’s much needed. Local NGOs like @kopernik.info do a great job supporting evacuees.