"Torment in the dark was the danger I feared, and it did not hold me back. But I would not have come, had I known the danger of light and joy. Now I have taken my worst wound in this parting, even if I were to go this night straight to the Dark Lord. Alas for Gimli son of Glóin!'
'Nay!' said Legolas, 'Alas for us all! And for all that walk the world in these after-days. For such is the way of it: to find and lose, as it seems to those whose boat is on a running stream.'"
- The Fellowship of the Ring
Such are these days of having and holding and losing - the ground underneath my feet seems far less firm than it did in the days where nothing ever changed and loss was not a concept often contemplated. But here we are, and we grow older and learn that often the things we most wish to hold onto are the ones that will fade from sight, if not from our hearts and minds. Oh for the things I would cling to and never let fall under the tyranny of time. There is grace in time, though, and some things will remain untouched.
. . .
I apologize, I've spent the last week reading nothing but Tolkien and I sound a bit like him. I don't regret it; there are less wise people I could love and follow after with my pen.
"Wait until the morning comes around - you'll find the sun can mend everything that's become undone."
"These days, they all had their hands thrust into the sky, hoping for comets."
- Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven King
Blue skies, pink sunglasses, and red trolleys - hey, summer. We might not be at the beach yet, but we will be soon!
Summer might be early, Class of 2019, but if you want to capture those carefree summer vibes, now is the time! Don't wait till it's too late and book a shoot.
(P.S. last one of Olivia for a little, she's just so stunning and those colors and aesthetic, yes.)
Kailin, why do you always post at like two in the morning?
Guys I don't know, right now is when I get things done okay? I'm still a mess from college.
On that note, I'm around for the summer and ready to book some shoots! Send me a message to get started. Who knows, we might end up chilling around abandoned yellow trailers 🤷♀️
Maybe it is not so bad, then, to be spun in a million directions, complicated and confused, for if the stars are beautiful and the music is right, then even the pieces of your life could be a masterpiece in the hands of an artist.
From a piece I wrote, "the crickets sing harmony" inspired by @canyoncitymusic , written for the love of the night and the thousands of things I feel the need to be on top of right now, from big decisions to whether or not I'll wake up for class in the morning. Remember in the late nights that you are still an adventurer even when times are scary or confusing and you are a song being written - slow, sure, and messy.
Photo creds: @chrisclark__
"I'll carry your world." I love how beauty draws us together and makes us small enough to realize we are far from alone in the world, far from being the only ones struggling, and far from being the only ones who care deeply. As stunning as the mountains in front of you are the people by your side; as deep and full of secrets, as varied and intricate, as impossible to describe and fully explore, and as breathtaking, each and every time. There are peaks and there are valleys in these mountains; with these people, every day, and what a privilege to share in some small part of the grandeur.
Thank you to those who spent a week with me in North Carolina, exploring mountains. I love you all, and have felt so incredibly blessed by our time.
"I was staring, looking back, out the keyhole of my door -
you saw that I had seen you, and I fell to the floor; you were dancing with the children and loving all the broken
and I was too scared to come out,
and then you busted through my doorway and it seemed so very violent
but peaceful words came out and silenced all my silence,
and I realized that the knowledge that I thought that I had known
was nothing compared to you coming to my home."
- To Dust, @collectionband
To share the joy that comes with things as small as sunlight across the floor, to be mute in awe and stunned by beauty, to be dwarfed by something greater than ourselves, to know nothing and find that there is still everything to learn, to be at home, to be dancing with the children and loving all the broken - this is what is in front of me.
Photo creds: @irelandstauber
11:11, make a wish, they said.
And so I did, my breath catching at the moment I caught the clock barehanded in its repetition, intrigued by the thought that I had only just happened upon the moment without even thinking about it. ---
So I wished for someone to love and it came true and we spent years outside in the sunshine, picking away the world till all that was left was dreams and wishes, as if the clock had never left that priceless moment of endlessness, a place where everything we wanted came true. Once, we tried to wake up and find a different dream, and found we couldn't.
I stare at the clock as it strikes that inexplicable hour and walk into the fog instead of wishing for everything. Everything can't be had, for if it could be, you wouldn't matter and neither would I.
- Go and find the one for whom your love is selfless, someone who makes you helpless to change the way you feel. -
One last shot from Sarah and Josiah's special day in honor of sending this gallery off!
- a million dreams are keeping me awake -
Hey, happy 2018.
Things I learned in 2017:
• keep your eyes wide open. There's too much magic going on to blink.
• learning is important but people are more important. Than most things, actually. Including sleep.
• crazy things happen, like the kind you might only dream up in your head or the ones you think only happen to other people. And they aren't coincidence, they're God.
• doing scary things is as exhilarating as it gets, even when they're small enough to be normal to other people. Don't overthink.
• people are exciting.
Can you imagine 2018? I'm kinda pumped. I suspect I'm more starry-eyed than I thought.
The best stories are the ones we live, not the ones we read. To all my dear Wheaton friends, you are who taught me that over our first whirl of a semester; taught me to forget homework in favor of a Los run, to do the scary things like talk to people, to let go and join floor cults such as the Bowl Society, to embrace your true Hogwarts house, to just breathe, to worship more freely and together a God who stuns each of us in new ways every day, and to more fully live in ways that honor Christ. There are, after all, some things even better than what's in my books. Here's to the years we have in store.
Alright, sap out.