Lately I’ve been really down.Unmotivated, lacking energy. I’ve been stressed and frustrated, and I can’t say it just one thing affecting me. It’s multiple things. It’s like everything is hitting me at once. I had stopped going to the gym for a bit, but I have been doing little workouts at home. But nothing compares to gym time. Even though I really didn’t want to come. I got up early took care of somethings for myself, and fit in an hour of gym time. Now I’m at the hospital visiting my dad. I’m glad I fit in the time for myself, but I’m feeling beat!! I’m just totally lacking energy and motivation. But I’m dedicated to myself. I’ve come to far to just completely stop. Plus the gym time helps me get my anger and frustration out.I take it all out on the machines and try to leave it there. I swear , I love the arc trainer. Sometimes I get embarrassed when I start crying on the machine, but sometimes I feel like that’s the best workout. Not only am I working out my body but I also work out my emotions and leave it there. I wonder what everyone else does to help them work out there emotions, or what do you guys do when your not feeling motivated or lacking energy? #unmotivated#butdedicated#lackingenergy#butstillputtinginwork#gymtime#mytime#nevergiveup#julesisresilient
Last night with the Birthday Boy.97 years young, I hope I make it as far as he has. I know I get my good looks from him, because he definitely does not look 97yrs old, and I don’t think I look like I’m 40yrs old. Ugh...I’m 40 🤦🏻♀️, lol #happybirthday#papo#grandad#canweslowdowntime#please
I don’t believe in heaven or hell, but if there were a hell to exist, it’s here on earth! 2017 was rough, and this year 2018 was even tougher, and it seems like it just wont let up. Last couple of days I was at kings county hospital in observation. (Spent my bday at the hospital)First 3 days I was given morphine and toradol injections for pain. Yes the pain was that intense. My body literally would convulse as to throw up, but all that would come up was foam. I could of swore up and down that it was a stomach issue, and had convinced myself maybe it was because of my gastric bypass. But nope, stomach was fine. And I was subjected to test after test, and in these tests they found I had a cyst on my right ovary(and that I have a bunch of fibroids,which I already knew), and even worse a lesion in my liver 😱, they scared that shyt out of me when they told me that. First thing I asked ...is it cancer? And they said they could not answer that at the time,more testing needed to be done. More testing was done, and then I was told the cyst was nothing to worry about, and that my liver was ok. So I’m like so where is this pain coming from? They were as confused as I am? Because where my abdominal pain was and where the liver is, it didn’t correlate. So more testing of my stomach and intestines was done. Only to be told again, my stomach and intestines are fine, my gastric bypass looks beautiful. So I was discharged with undetermined abdominal pain. And I’m to follow up with my PCP doctor and with a GI doctor. I’m feeling much better now, very little pain, I’m thinking the IV’s, and pain medication,and other meds they gave me at the hospital, helped tremendously, but I need answers! So I definitely will be following up with doctors. In the meantime if I get worse again, I’m to return to the ER. 2018 You not taking me down ! I’m looking forward to 2019 and you can go a head and throw what you can at me, cause your not keeping me down! #julesisresilient !!!
Got up early to check the oven . I’ve been slow roasting a pork and a turkey, since 1am. Woke up feeling grateful and thankful and excited to start my day. Unfortunately after my peaceful work while I was trying to finish down loading my collage things erupted here in the house with the fam. I still have not learned my lesson on holding my tongue. Hey 🤷🏻♀️I’m a work in progress, but what I have learned is to remove myself from a horrible situation, and not let it escalate any further. So unfortunately my plans have changed for the day, but none the less I will still enjoy my day. And I’m still great full for all my experiences Because they are all learning lessons. #noonesperfect#imcertainlynot#areyou#yourarenot#wearealllearning #
Happy Thanksgiving everyone 🤗. Today might not be celebrated by everyone, today might have a different meaning to different people, but today is my excuse to get together with friends/ family to be thankful they are here and a part of my life in what ever role they play. Even if it’s just to come together on a day like today to create a memory ,of a simple gathering to enjoys each other company as we sit and enjoy a meal , that many others all over the world may not be able too. Be grateful and thankful for the little things. I’m so grateful everyday for things many take for granted... opening my eyes in the morning, as I’m breathing on my own, being able to sit up in my bed on my own, being able to get up out of bed on my own. These are things that I’m grateful and thankful for everyday, and I will never it take for granted. Happy Holiday to all , enjoy and be safe #happythanksgivng#bethankful#begrateful#friends#family#love#live#life#julesisresilient
Laying here alone at my BF’s. He’s gone to work and I’m here thinking about everything that I need to take care of. I’m beat physically and emotionally,and mentally,everything hurts including my heart.I literally had to tell myself yesterday I am not responsible for others, and I should not feel bad or guilty for walking away. People have different priorities, and sometimes it’s hard to see certain things, but I’m in no place to do anything for anyone but myself. So it’s ok for me to walk away avoid a situation from getting very ugly. I can only hold things in for so long. What’s wrong is wrong, but some are so blinded and selfish, that no one can can make them see straight, so why even bother saying anything, because that would only make things worse. So I’m laying here alone thinking everything can wait till be done much later, just to avoid problems. And it’s hurts my heart to have to be distant from people you should have the closest relationship with. But I know I’m doing the right thing in this situation for the moment.
No one is perfect, and I always say I’m definitely not. I’m a work in progress, but no matter how much I try and change, there are some people who have a gift for bringing out the worst in me. I’ll say this though, since I left yesterday, that is progress for me , I’m finally learning how to walk away. 2018 has taught me who I can really count on, this year I’ve learned so much, I’ve made not only physical accomplishments but also emotional ones. And although others have not been there for me in the past at my worst,I still continue to be there for them, and it’s not so I can just say,I was there, it’s because I know what it is to be in a position where you need help and no one is there, or at least the people you’d expect to be there for you aren’t. All I can say is there is something called “KARMA” and I have truly seen it at work. The effort you put forth , “good” or “bad” definitely comes back around. For 2019 I foresee a lot of “KARMA” that will come into play. Now do you know what “KARMA” your putting forth? I know I do . #KARMA#STAYINGPOSITIVE#ITSOKTOWALKAWAY#IMRESPONSIBLEFORJUSTME#JULESISRESILIENT
Waist training starts today! Recently I went to my usual pain management appointment. And we spoke about the lower back pain I’m having,and have been complaining about since January,also the pain recently in my neck. Not so long ago I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, and I was really thinking it was from that. But it turns out from what my x-rays shows, that’s a mild issue.The real problem is my excess abdominal skin. Yes I do have a lot of excess skin, and I hide it well. You can’t be almost 300lbs and only 5’3” and lose over 130+lbs and not have excess skin. So this excess skin, that I pack all in with hi waisted panty girdles,is exacerbating my back issue. I was asked if I’ve been following up with my Bariatrics surgeon , since they probably deal with these issues most with patients who have had WLS. Unfortunately I have not, and I even missed my 1yr post op follow up. I’ve been having health insurance issues, and I have been trying to fix the situation. So until then it was recommended I use some sort of back brace for support(in conjunction with muscle relaxers).So.....no better time to waist train. I really don’t want to do anymore surgeries. I did know I would need skin removal surgery at some point, but I figured I would do it when I felt ready for it. Unfortunately I’m being told I should do it sooner than later, before things get worse🤦🏻♀️. I do want it done, I just really didn’t want to go through anymore major surgeries right now. After both knee replacements, I’ve had enough! I’m conflicted.Either way I have time to think about till I get my health insurance situation resolved. #wls#rny#surgeries#bilateral#kneereplacement#backissues#waisttraining#excessskin#excessskinissues#thejourneycontinues#nevergiveup#julesisresilient
WTH happened between last night and this morning? Woke up before 5am, severely congested. Had to break out the asthma pump cause I could not breathe. And my body...holy crap! Everything hurts, everything. Once I cleared up the best I could, I hit up the foam roller. That foam roller, I swear it’s a love hate relationship. I don’t know wether to scream, cry,moan or laugh when I hit those sore spots. Such blissful agony. If your not a roller you wouldn’t understand. #foamrolling#foamrollinghurtssogood#imaroller#itsalovehaterelationship#workingitout#julesisresilient