Hello my friends, it’s time for me to take a bit of a break from my social media accounts. Lately I’ve been feeling a negative affect on me. I’ve fallen victim to its hold on me. Constantly checking in. Aimlessly scrolling. Making dumb choices by engaging with the trolls of the internet. All of this has lead me to the realization that I need a break. I need to focus on my mental wellness and physical health. I need to take time to meditate and make sure that I’ve had enough rest so that I can really be present with my kids. I want to share this with you just in case you’re feeling the same way. Please give yourself permission to take a break from social media. Get out into nature. Become present. Get centred. As soon as you feel social media bringing you down, take a break from it!
Big hugs to each and every one of you. I am sending you so much love and support right now. xoxoxo 💕✨
The mantra that I’ve just begun to use: “All that I am is enough.” It is so empowering.
Most days (as I am still learning) I’ve come to a place where I accept myself exactly as I am and I know that I am ENOUGH. It is a place where there is no more hiding in shame. Choosing every single day to live my life authentically. The authenticity means that I show up and accept every mood or emotion that I experience throughout the day. That includes when I am unsavoury, but I don’t have to put on a fake smile and pretend that I am happy all of the time. I show up exactly as I feel and my emotions are nothing to be ashamed about. I wanted to share this with you in case it helped someone to do the same or it resonated with you in some way.
Hello my friends,
Have you ever seen a comment on social media that irked you? Maybe you replied to a nasty comment and you were met with 10x the resistance.
I just had an encounter where I fell into “The Commenting Trap” I replied to a nasty comment that was on someone’s YouTube channel and it was met with total futility. I could literally feel the negativity that this person pushed back on me. I felt immediate regret for even engaging in this negative persons comment. I felt like I had lowered myself to how low they were.
So my lesson for today has been to ignore the negative comments on social media and rise up with empowering comments and posts of my own instead.
This can also be true for drama that takes place in real life, outside of social media. We have the choice to remove ourselves from drama. We do not have to take part. Do not engage in a persons negativity. Instead, follow your heart. Do what feels right for you. Give yourself permission to let go of negativity. Sending each and everyone of you love and support at this time. #riseup#sayno#dontcomment#dontengageinnegativity#empoweryourself#nodrama#negativity
Honouring my feelings is a concept that is fairly new to me. I used to berate myself, hate myself and fight the feeling I was experiencing. I would reject them and essentially reject myself.
During my process of recovery, I’ve become much more compassionate towards myself. I now honour how I feel. I have begun to trust what my body is telling me. Whether it be tightness in my stomach indicating that something feels off or a boundary has been crossed or feeling my shoulders relax and trusting that I am in a feel good state. It’s taken a long time, but I am finally starting to recognize and honour my feelings. Trust myself. Love myself.
I share this with you today in the hopes that you will begin to honour your feelings too. Trust what your body is sharing with you. Know that what you feel is never wrong. Our perception of our own reality is a unique one and one that is never wrong. So how you feel is always right. Know this. Trust this.
I am sending so much love your way today 💕
I’ve come to a place where I have had to surrender to what my heart wants. The heart knows where it wants to go and it always travels towards feelings of happiness.
Listen to what your heart is telling you. Does it ache when you spend time with a certain person. Does it constrict when you feel obligated to do something for someone?
It’s time to start listening to the sensations your heart is giving you. Do what makes you happy.
Hello my friends,
Here’s a sneak peak from my latest acrylic painting.
Over the last few weeks, I've been dealing with my anxiety. Having been weaning off of my anti-anxiety meds that were prescribed during my postpartum days. I’ve been wanting to see what my baseline is in terms of my anxiety now that I do not suffer from postpartum anymore.
Unfortunately, my regular anxiety is indeed severe. I have racing thoughts, difficulty sleeping, mood swings and self confidence issues.
Luckily, painting is a way for me to escape the anxiety for moments at a time.
If you suffer from anxiety like me, I would really encourage you to do something creative. Think back when you were a child. What were some creative projects that you enjoyed to do? Draw? Paint? Dance?
Sign up for a class or buy some paints and paper. Do anything that can put your mind at ease, even if it is only momentarily.
You will find the relief you’ve been searching for. I promise.
Sending so much love and support your way! xo
It’s all that we need.
Even though I have never met the majority of you amazing people following my Instagram account, I am honoured to have your follow and I want to send so much love to each and every one of you today.
Some of you may be having a difficult time right now. Some of you may be feeling very alone. I just want you to know that you are not alone. You are loved. You are worth it.
Hello my friends,
I’ve been staying quiet here, unable to find words.
I can’t believe what I’ve been seeing in the news these past few days. (Normally, I do not check the news as it causes my anxiety to increase)
but, I’ve found myself in a state of disbelief.
I kissed my babies as they slept last night, unable to comprehend what it would be like to have them taken from me...
I just felt like I needed to address what’s been happening and I didn’t feel like posting something that may not be meaningful at a time like this.
I hope that we may continue to keep a dialogue open & bring a voice to the voiceless. #familiesbelongtogether
A shout out to all the amazing dads & partners who are loving & nurturing towards their children, encouraging & supportive towards their partners!
Especially, those of you supporting the mamas suffering from postpartum anxiety & OCD disorder. -
It takes a very strong, loving and supportive partner to be able to deal with this disorder.
Sending so much love your way!! 💕
Hello my friends,
Today, I’ve been revisiting my past love of acrylic painting. It’s been over 4 years since I last painted on canvas. Looking back I see that so much of myself was taken from me during my postpartum anxiety and OCD disorder.
Today I felt a surge of creativity. I’ve been feeling raw and emotional lately and luckily, I have been able to channel these emotions with my paint brush.
I feel I am at a point in my recovery where I am accepting of where I have been in the shadows of my mental illness and reflecting backwards from a point of stillness and surrender. I believe the raw emotions that I’ve been feeling is grieving a postpartum experience that I feel like I deserve, but with it I feel a sense of satisfaction within. It helped to bring me back to my souls purpose. To create. Make art. And at present, be a voice for other women who are going through the dark path that I have been down. I am the voice that is bringing them forth. Beckoning them to follow me and take back their power. Letting go of the anger, guilt and sorrow that swallows you up in the depths of postpartum anxiety. I am here to share my story of survival and resilience and speak my truth and not hold back. I am here. I am now. I am.
Sending so much love and support your way today. Full of gratitude to be standing here alive today. xo
I wanted to share with you the concept of taking back your personal power. As an ACOA, I was conditioned growing up to be a nice girl, and give up your boundaries and your own personal power to please others.
This hasn’t faired me well and I am in the process of learning how to take back my power. My therapist helped me to to just that by having me stand my ground and push out my arms and hands up in order to protect my personal boundary, I broke down in tears because i had finally felt like I had been given permission to exert my own personal boundary and practise saying that I have power and nobody can take that away from me. I felt as if I had zero say in my life growing up and I was never allowed to speak up or say what I really truly felt. I was to be good. Be kind. Never have a voice. Now I know this just isn’t true and I want to share it with you to remind you all that you have a voice. You have personal power. Do not give it away. Take it back!
You have more power then you think you do.
I wanted to share with you a little bit about how my anxiety presents itself. Maybe some of you can relate? And or I may be able to shed light to some of you who don’t know what it’s like to suffer from anxiety.
I was backing out of a super tight parking stall at my kids underground parkade. ‘Perfect’ timing... a lady was pulling in... at the same time... both my windows were down and my 4 year old was incessantly shouting about how he wanted a lollipop when we got home and all of a sudden my anxiety went into full swing. I yelled at my son to be quiet... motioned to the lady to move her car over to the left so I could get out and I began swearing at her “learn how to F’n drive” “move out of the F’n way” “Holy F”... Like a crazed lunatic... Meanwhile, parents are hearing me b/c my windows are rolled down and I immediately worry that they are judging me, I'm embarrassed and I can't seem to stop myself from losing my mind...
I go from 0-100 and afterwards I am enveloped with guilt and shame.
I remind myself that this is my anxiety and it isn't me and that lessens the likelihood that I will go down a self-hate spiral... (this is amazing to me now and goes to show how hard I am working in self-healing)
Growing up I never learned how to regulate my emotions and the aftermath is that I do not know how to deal with anger. It is a learning experience and a difficult one at 35 years of age. Not to mention the negative impact this has on my children.
Anyway, I hope that by sharing this, it may help someone who is also dealing with anxiety presenting itself like an adult tantrum and maybe opens up an awareness about mental illness. Please be kind to others who are having a difficult moment in time. There is so much underneath these outbursts and we need to become more compassionate and less judgemental.
Sending so much love and support to my anxious friends! I am right here with you. 💕
Hello my friends,
I was just taking some time for self-care and as I was doodling, I thought of something:
“Imagine that you had ZERO limitations in this life...
What would you DO without any limitations? Nothing to hold you back?
This is such an interesting thought and I wanted to share it with you.
Lately, I’ve been questioning my own life’s purpose. I have many interests and I am passionate about so many things like mental health awareness... it’s difficult to determine what direction to choose.
I think that by asking ourselves the questions above, we might be able to sneak a peak into what we really feel is our true mission in life. I suppose it doesn’t have to be just one thing... but I think it is so important to begin asking yourself these questions... if nothing is holding you back, what would you do? Travel? Take a cooking lesson? Paint? Be a keynote speaker?
I really really feel drawn to talk about this right now and I encourage you to ask yourself these very important questions?
What is holding you back from following your dreams? And if you don’t know what your dream is exactly then what is it that you would do without anything holding you back? Like money? Time? Etc.
Hope you’re all staying warm and dry here in Calgary! Sending so much love your way!! xo
I just wanted to send out a special acknowledgment to my wonderful hairdresser and friend Gary @chubbyhairstylist @swizzlestickssalonspa
He doesn’t realize how much he’s helped me over the last few months. Back in Dec. during a very dark period, I decided to shave my hair and opt for more of a @pink hairdo
It was during my transition into coming out of my shell, speaking my truth and accepting myself for who I am authentically. I thought that if I changed my hair, it would help me to close the door on my postpartum mood disorder chapter and start my new chapter into recovery!
He helped me to create this new look and he contributed so much into my transition!
Gary, thank you so much!
Hello my friends,
I had to revamp my photos for the Etsy shop Blue Sky Magpie and here is what I've come up with.
Adding a crystal and a living plant really accentuates this vase!
I've only just begun my journey onto Etsy and I have zero likes, zero followers and I still have hope!
I found what I love to do and I'm putting myself out there and I have nothing to lose... Accept for $.20 per listing.
I just wanted to share this with you just in case any of you are holding back on something you love. Maybe you're scared to put yourself out there... But I'm telling you, with all of my heart. You are the only one that can truly make ”you” happy!
You have nothing to lose.
Get yourself out there.
Start a blog.
Start an Etsy shop.
You may surprise yourself with a brand new sense of confidence and love and belief in yourself!
I'm cheering for you. Encouraging you. And supporting you!
All my love to you all 💕