to the little boy who loves to hold my hand while i drive, cuddles into me like there is nowhere else he’d rather be be, claims buddha is his best friend, refuses to wear jeans + only rocks sparkle leggings, marches to the best of his own drum, loves loves loves music + is the tenderest most light filled soul i have ever known..... happy 5th birthday my beautiful Nico Lucían. my son. my sun. 🎉💙 #birthdayboy#motherandson#mysunshine#thisis5#readyornot
my sweet ollie made these for us today. she got the tree stumps on friday eve when we got our tree. she knows i used to collect the tree stumps when i was a kid. she stole the pics + cut them from our fridge, found a little screw for mine, some wire for hers - “nico’s can go on the floor” 😂, took pine from our Xmas tree + sprinkled them with so much love. my @cgheilmann of course we are in my ornament together! so perfect. this child of mine.... she LOVES giving, creating, making people smile. her heart is so huge. feeling very thankful for our little life. big, big love + it’s pretty magical. 🎄#xmas
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
my beautiful salt, how lucky we are to have each other in every phase of life + growth. so grateful for you. also, so proud of us being so “laser” even without a talking stick lol #powerhour 🙏🏼💕#saltnpepa @jamiebedohave
best friend. i have so much to express to you. i will start with how thankful i am that you exist. how thankful i am that the “bowery babes” were a thing + brought us together as we navigated our very spirited first born babies together. how thankful that you said “yes” when i awkwardly asked you on a friend date. our mornings getting foamy cappuccinos + lattes walking around alphabet city/tompkins square park w Q + O strapped onto our chests. our wild nyc nights out singing karaoke gave us life.... back in the day.... back in what feels like another lifetime.....
thankful that even when i moved across the country we became even closer, even as we popped out more kids. we made #momsprings a thing (your idea bc you’re a genius) you became a mom of 3 wildly beautiful boys. you are a true queen of grace, fierceness + wickedly sharp humor, wit, intelligence. for the past 8 months, you have been holding our friendship almost singlehandedly. i have been drowning in so much. and you have held me. supported me. told me you were proud of me (which makes me cry every time) when i was feeling hopeless. helpless. lost. scared. devastated. terrified. you not only listened to me, cried with me, held precious sacred space for me; but you insisted and sometimes demanded (in a loving way) that i let you + niels support me in ways that felt hard for me. you gave me advice. you gave me hope. you never; not even once, made me feel small or guilty or crazy. you just loved me. you loved me hard. sometimes you loved me for the both of us. without an agenda. without expectations. depression can be so very selfish. i know it. i have been coming out of this long episode - and now i feel that i am FULLY onto the next chapter. the page has officially turned. (i survived!) i am still somewhat fragile..... the last bit is not over yet - (why won’t he stop) but i feel stronger now. i see the light. and bc of you, i have a lawyer in my corner. an advocate. i won’t be bullied anymore. i won’t back down. i would not be here without you. you are the most selfless + generous woman i have ever met. your heart is more honest and more pure than anyone’s. @cgheilmann CON’T ⬇️
Cleopatra throwback. Halloween 2014– exactly two weeks after the initial shock that finally gave me the strength, clarity and courage to leave my marriage and say NO MORE. i remember this day so vividly. in the midst of trauma, i did what had to be done. i got a sitter for my infant Nico + Ollie and I went out with friends and had a blast. as i continue to navigate this past year which has been nothing short of tremendously difficult and devastating, i am reminding myself that i have kept doing what needs to be done. it’s been messy AF sometimes, but i’ve kept going and i am proud of myself in this moment. first Halloween EVER without my littles, but i get to see them mañana. and i am feeling proud of myself so i am gonna ride this wave. also, my little girl has always been so magical. 🌙🖤🔮 #thatposetho