Things I’m Wondering About In This Photograph: 1. there are so many stars we CAN’T see 2. do animals have deities/gods 3. the phrase “you are not a woman, you are a non binary goblin” 4. does earth dissolve in water or do they coexist perfectly 5. how do black holes feel? 6. is my subconscious trying to kill me PLEASE DISCUSS !
I never used to like the color blue—formlessness, the ocean...these things seemed cold and scary. I don’t know if it’s from meeting people like water or moving back to the west coast but blue has never felt so warm
go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes
There is no country for those who despair, but I know that the sea comes before and after me, and hold my madness ready || Albert Camus
My relationship to reality is tenuous right now. I’m writing this from a plane; I’m not sure I feel pretty but I feel like myself; there will be beginnings soon but I do not feel like 2019 is a fresh start, so far it is a fascinating(!) nightmare I can’t wake up from. I am learning; I am afraid. I am trying to perform alchemy on these fears, turning them into a nervous curiosity that could become excitement. I am healing old wounds as new wounds open. Fear is constant, change as well—but I don’t want to live at the mercy of these unavoidable truths, clinging to my illusions. That being said I’m discouraged, I’m tired of getting in my own way. I don’t want to be a minefield. Abstraction is the only respite right now, risking dissolution in the process.
I must wait a little longer to be reunited with this magical isle — BUT I only need wait 24 more hours before I am reunited with this magical woman ! It is truly in the most painful and dire circumstances we see who our real friends are. To those who are holding me up from below, checking in, sending love, poetry, MEMES, music, anything and everything lands so softly in my heart right now. Thank you, friends ✨ [and see you soon, LA]
The tide is ruled by the moon and has no preference between flood and shore laid bare...
VIVA Y NO PARE Nicolás Guillén was born in Camagüey, Cuba in 1902. Guillén’s father, a journalist, was assassinated by the Cuban government. In 1929, Guillén interviewed Langston Hughes in Havana and they became lifelong friends. In 1930 he created an international stir with the publication of Motivios de Son, eight short poems I highly recommend reading, inspired by the daily conditions of and discrimination against black cubans.
The eternal misery of the act of remembering — if you could shape again those combinations / giving me back the country without the water, I would drink it all to spit at the sky || V. Piñera, La Isla En Peso
No hay que ganar el cielo para gozarlo, dos cuerpos en el platanal valen tanto como la primera pareja, la odiosa pareja que sirvió para marcar la separación. ¡Musa paradisíaca, ampara a los amantes! - - One need not earn heaven to enjoy it, two bodies in the banana grove are as valid as the first couple, the hateful couple who served to mark the separation. Muse of paradise, protect the lovers! - - Virgilio Piñera | La Isla en Peso | Cuba, 1943
singing across the sea, surrounded by geese / soaked in lime / you asked me / whether it hurts more to remember or to forget human evolution is the result of a series of accidents / mine will be as well
You have no control over how your story begins or ends. All things have an ending. Every spark returns to darkness. Every sound returns to silence. Every flower returns to sleep with the earth || Suzy Kassem
CLANCY || SPIRIT GUIDE
ouroboros: according to the greeks, the cyclic nature of the universe, creation out of destruction, life out of death. the ouroboros is a snake that eats its own tail to sustain its life in an eternal cycle of renewal. I have been in a life cycle of dissolving and rebirth for the latter half of this year. I have been destroyed; I have destroyed myself. a few months ago I had a powerful dream of a golden snake and I struggled to understand what it signified. I thought it was someone else. but i’m fairly certain now that it was me. it is terrifying to transform, fearing that our loved ones will not recognize our new skins. we have to change anyway, confident that we are not becoming nothing in the process, but just shedding what we no longer fit into, what has become too constricting on our celestial bodies. thank you, gucci snake jacket, for finding me just in time to be a culminating symbol for this year. and thank you to all the people who held my hand through the growing pains and the people who forced me to embrace change and the people who showed me who I am and who I can be. none of us have any idea. living is a form of being unsure. we guess. we may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.
chère tante / all the way from paris to seattle / her advice to me on this particular ferry ride was to heed the words of joni mitchell: and her heart is full and hollow like a cactus tree while she's so busy being free
On soft spring nights I'll stand out under the stars - something good will come out of all things yet - And it will be golden and eternal just like that - there's no need to say another word || Jack Kerouac, Big Sur
Yesterday was the winter solstice; today we are reborn with the sun as we begin to let go of darkness and make space for the light. May we all be surrounded by those who fill us with golden radiance.