“Shooting up, Can’t seem to run from stuff, This coffee is an adiction, an escape from what all I suffered, Shooting up, Can’t seem to run from stuff, Always making the same mistakes, Why are all these people making inside jokes towards me and calling me a fake? Shooting up, Can’t seem to run from stuff, These inside joke letters keep running out to everybody and I’m forced to face this uncomfortable reality, Why is my instagram account being called a scam account when I try to explain the mess inside my brain, Shooting up, can’t seem to run from stuff, Always making the same mistakes, They all call me a feminist but why am I silently screaming at them to listen to my emotional stress caused by my own wrong doings which they are so good at reminding me of every single day, Shooting up, Can’t seem to run from stuff, These monsters are just in my head not in them, Shooting up, Can’t seem to run from stuff, Always making the same mistakes...” #hauntingofhillhouse #luke #parodysong #elizabeth #version
“Resentment makes you turn into someone that you don’t want to be. I would only be pulling the victim card if I were to point out that I have brusies that nobody else can see. No wonder as I drink this here coffee and think to myself why I have this new obsession problem with Luke a character off of the Haunting Of Hill House. He has brusies that you can actually see on his face and as for mine they are something that I can only imagine seeing.” #icanonlyimagine #coffee #sip #think #watch #think #sleep #wakeup #replay
The only dreams that I experienced are the dreams that I wake from in a cold sweat aka nightmares... Sometimes my reality can seem like a nightmare just from people holding what all I post against me. There’s some people that want to take away your right to express yourself by using put down humor towards you in the most passive aggressive of ways. Even if my posts don’t get any likes or comments at least I’m expressing myself. When I had zero internet I had no way to express my self to the world and to be known or seen. You never know true invisible self till you lived that invisible old school life like I had it’s like time travel.
Kind of like how I use to dream that I be with Dylan but that dream never came true. Now all I have is a memory of him and when I get older how slow that memory will fade over time.
It would be so cool to be on that set and being an actress in The Haunting Of Hill House. I know that there are some dreams that I will most likely never reach. I mean unless God puts it somewhere into my story but till then I just find it fun to fantasize about it but yeah I know the truth that it will never happen. Yet being a house keeper that’s possible to become because I was one at one time.
It was hallucinating
I honestly don’t even want to go back to sleep