Hey, friends. ❤️ After some careful thought, I’ve decided to absent myself from @instagram for (at least) the first quarter of 2019. Please know that it is not you. I value you all—your posts, your opinions, your impact (on my life and on others’) so much. I’ve tried, this year, to do too much, and it has caught up with me; some things have to go, and I truly believe that, for my #mentalhealth , the ‘gram needs to be one of them. You are all my friends. I love you all so much. If you want, shoot me a DM over the next couple days with your preferred method of contact. If you want to keep in touch...I would love that. My plan is to cut the umbilical on the evening of the 18th, so just reach out by then! You and your people, situations, and intentions are all in my heart and in my prayers. ❤️🙏🏻 Please keep me in yours. Emma #madewithover
@bustedhalo, #bhadvent , 4: #waiting . Results, results, results. We live in a world that is hyper-focused on results. I live in that world too, and I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to this focus. I just told somebody today that I like to see results happen right away. God works on His own time, though. In my rush to see results, I forget that. And I get frustrated when the things He’s called me to do don’t bear fruit immediately. May this season of #preparation remind me, and all of us, that it’s ok to not see results right away. Today’s challenge for @iammelwells’s and @theselflovesummit’s #adventchallenge was #gratitude : tonight, as I finish writing this, I am grateful for @bustedhalo’s beautiful challenge, which always reminds me of all the ways I need to grow, and of all the ways that God is there to help me.
@bustedhalo, #bhadvent , 3: #myprayer . Lord, please teach me to slow down. To ease up. To stop, if need be. 🙏🏻 As a perfectionist, this is not an easy prayer. I get tied up in the little things: doing every #devotional , getting that #homework assignment just right, hitting my #caloriegoals the first day back, exercising #everydamnday ... And then I fail. And because I couldn’t do the little thing, I miss out on the chance to succeed at the big thing. This includes my spiritual life. I miss out on the #novena because I missed a day; I lose the strength of a #mass because I got distracted during the #homily ; I let #prayer slip through my fingers because I can’t pray the way I think I ought to. So my prayer is: Lord, please teach me to slow down. To ease up. To stop, if need be. To trust that You are ok with a little, if a little is all I have right now. Amen. #perfectionist #slowdown #easeup #breathe #trust #ijustwanttosleep
Day 4: Post a video of you dancing to some #christmasmusic . Uhm...excuse me?! I don’t think so! Except that I did. I popped on some @francescamusic and danced myself silly. Thanks to @missellies_ for the inspiration and the support. ❤️ @iammelwells @theselflovesummit #adventchallenge
@bustedhalo, #bhadvent , 2: #adventcalendar . I don’t do traditional Advent calendars. Not because I dislike them; I just fell out of the habit as I grew older. Here’s what I am using. A blog post from @catholiccompany, sharing prompts, reflections, and prayers from a now out-of-print book. (This #spiritualchristmascrib was sent to me years ago by my mother, and I have used [read: failed] it pretty consistently ever since. This year, @iammelwells is hosting a #selfloveadventcalendar , and I’m participating in that as well. I first encountered Mel’s work in #thegoddessrevolution (still, as yet, unfinished and on my TBR shelf 😳), and I love her passion for self-love; as the holidays are stressful even for the most dedicated of Advent purists, it seemed like a good idea to use this time of preparation to also work on myself. They say you can’t pour from an empty cup, and I believe that this holds true for our relationship with God as well. Lastly, my #boyfriend gifted me a #Magnificat devotional, and I’m following along with that as well. Maybe I’m beginning to see a link between all I try to do and the burnout I feel. 😉#kidding #notkidding
Day 3: 3 things I #love about myself. 1. I love my #senseofhumor ; 2. I love my #laugh ; 3. I love my #hair . It should not have taken as long as it did to come up with three things that I love about myself. Reasons why I needed this, I guess. 🤷🏻♀️ @iammelwells @theselflovesummit #adventchallenge
@bustedhalo, #bhadvent , 1: #candle . Not quite half-way through a very long work week-and-a-half, and at the tail end of a long semester, thinking of #candles makes me think about #burnout . My mom likes to put a candle on and let it burn until there’s nothing left. Which is fine...if you’re a @yankeecandle votive candle that costs $2 to replace. We. Are not. Replaceable. When we burn out, reach the end of the wick, or whatever other candle metaphor we choose to use...we can’t just dash in to the store and buy another us. Luckily, God knows that we need to #recharge before we burnout. And He gives us a #liturgicalyear that keeps that in mind: after a long season of #ordinarytime , He gifts us #advent —a time of preparation, yes, but also a time to step away from what drains us and to return to what fills us. So use this season wisely. Don’t burn out.
Day 2: Buy yourself some #flowers . Oh, how my heart jolted—unpleasantly—when I saw the prompt for today. Buy myself flowers?! I don’t think I’ve ever done that, and the idea of spending $5 on flowers...for myself...was bizarre to me. How would I justify it? As I picked my bouquet, and drove it home, I tried to figure out what I could say to provide a proper “reason” for purchasing flowers for myself. But do I need one? Yeah, I could give some: it’s #winter , and we all need some color; it’s been a long week, and maybe I wanted to do something for myself; etc., etc., etc. But the real reason? I just did. I was challenged to do thIs FOR MYSELF, with no reason besides that. It was—it is—for me. These didn’t come with #flowerfood , and I have absolutely no green thumb, so here’s to anticipating an early death for these beauties. 😒 But in the meantime: 😍 @iammelwells @theselflovesummit #adventchallenge #treatyoself
Day 1: I am #proud of myself for...taking up space. For some people, taking up space is difficult. I am one of those people. Mustering up the courage and energy to step into a room—physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, energetically—and say “HERE I AM” can be tough, and for a long time it was easier to simply not do it. But throughout this year I have been trying to do better. I have been trying to make sure that I take up space, whatever that happens to mean: whether it’s voicing a need/want, literally making more space in my surroundings, or just standing my ground on the little things. I have not always succeeded. But that’s not the point. I don’t have to take up space all the time. Just when it matters. (And that is up to me). @iammelwells @theselflovesummit #adventchallenge #madewithover #takeupspace #selflove
Guys, #advent is literally around the corner: starting Saturday evening, we enter this blessed time of #preparation . Advent is one of my all-time favorite liturgical seasons, and one of my favorite ways of participating is by taking part in @bustedhalo’s #bhadvent photo challenge. Want to join me? Shoot me a comment letting me know; I’m all about that #community . (If you’re taking part, make sure to share this image, and then tag @bustedhalo and use the #bhadvent tag on every post!)
#worldmentalhealthday . If God offered me the chance to relive—and change—my #mentalhealthjourney ...I don’t think I’d take it. Because my #depression has made me more #empathetic . Because my #anxiety has made me more #aware . Because my #mentalillnesses have taught me levels of #love and #trust —for and in #God , myself, and others—than I think I could have ever learned without them. Over the years, I have been #stubborn , #irrational , #cruel , and downright #hateful . To those who have dealt with me: I apologize. You did not see me at my #best , yet you stood by me through my #worst . I love you all, and am grateful to you all, more than I can ever say. But I do not apologize for my #mentalillness . It does not #define me, but it has #shaped me, and for that...I am thankful. ❤️ #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillnessisreal #mentalillnessisnotacrime #mentalillnessisnotajoke #endthestigma #supportmentalhealth
Guys... I need a break. So I’m taking one. I’ll be here until 10PM on 8/31. If you want to keep in touch over September, DM me your email. Otherwise, seen you in October. Praying for you all. Please pray for me. 🙏🏻 -Emma