The days are short, the nights are hard, and long. I’ve never felt more emotionally drained in my entire life, but Stella Danielle YOU are worth it. Worth every tear, every sleepless night, every tough feeding. You are worth it. Shine bright my sweet baby star..Mama loves you. #livingwithstella ⭐️ #rawmotherhood#motherhood
Talking to a sweet friend just now, rocking my baby, discussing Stella’s birth, and it occurred to me that she is the redemption to who knows how many sleepless nights begging, and crying out to God for the chance to be a mother after my loss in 2016. When we didn’t know if our baby Stella bean would make it after 2 hemorrhage’s. I would cry and beg Him to just give me the chance, and I would be the best person I could be for her. Her birth was rough...but she is the victory, my angel, and the love of my life. Because of Stella I believe in answered prayers.
Thanking God for her extra today. #livingwithstella ⭐️
Yesterday was not my day. We were told last week that we could induce today or tomorrow. It turns out the nurse misspoke. So for a week we believed that we would be meeting our little girl this week. Yesterday at my appointment we were told that no we wouldn’t be having her Until next week. I feel let down, misled, and disappointed. I just want my baby! Lol This guy though has been tender with me. He cleaned our home, helped with laundry and just let me feel how I felt. He doesn’t use a lot of words but when he does, they matter. This life wouldn’t be the same without his encouragement and love. Thank you @christian.howel for loving me and for loving Stella. We love YOU so much. 💛 #waitingonstella ⭐️
Today is the day that 14 years ago I lost my daddy. This last week 14 years ago I spoke to him for the last time ever. I was only 12 years old when my mama had to tell me the news. I remember an officer had left us a voicemail which I found odd, and I was watching sponge bob of all things. We drove to his home late that night in the car that I would later drive as my first car. Sometimes I still feel as numb about it as I did 14 years ago, sitting in that car in my blue long sleeve shirt, with my blue flower hair clip wondering what we were going to do next. There is no rule book on how to handle losing your father. There is no magic cure to manage the pain. It comes in waves, it fades in and out as years go by. Special moments are clouded by unexplainable happiness, and deep moments of sorrow. Somehow you just get by. I know it’s God that carries me in those deep valleys of sorrow. 12 is too young to lose a parent, and 35 is too young to die. Life is so fragile, and it’s such a gift. I didn’t know when I woke up for school on that day 14 years ago my life would never be the same, but it hasn’t. Love your parents hard. You never know when your last moment with them will be. 💛
So thankful our moms forced us to play together when we were toddlers. You’ve been my best friend my whole life, and now I get to watch you be the best daddy to our little girl. Happy national boyfriends day to me 💛
A lot of people don’t know that I’ve been sick almost my entire pregnancy. I’ve been on and off bedrest, pelvic bedrest the whole time (look it up), evil SPD, terrible morning sickness, migraines, dehydration..you name it. I wouldn’t trade a single second of it for our little girl but man I’m exhausted. I’m mentally drained. I’m so ready for her to be with us I cry incessantly. I’m so blessed to be carrying the baby I never thought I would have, but this has been the most mentally taxing season of my life yet. So when you see a pregnant mama, and she doesn’t look like she’s glowing.. tell her she is anyways..because you just never know how hard it’s been. #waitingonstella ⭐️