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  • biggirlfitgirl
    Ashley Romano
    @biggirlfitgirl

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I am not responsible for anyone’s perception of me. I am also not responsible for the judgement that comes from that perception.
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Yesterday I was hurt by the judgement, shaming, threats & unkind words I received in response to sharing my journey authentically. In my pain I lost my cool. I felt like I was being crucified for my truth & few things trigger me more than when I am told it’s not okay to be or express who I am. So, if I spoke rudely to you, I am sorry. Two wrongs will never make a right. I will never diffuse another person’s anger by inspiring more anger. (I will say that I am proud I didn’t lose my shit all together, though. Old me would have won that battle- verbal assault was my specialty. Although I wish I hadn’t reacted at all, I am proud of the growth that allowed me to quit before I embarrassed myself)
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Today I am back on the vibe that best serves me (and the world) & I keep thinking of the MLKJr quote “darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.” I choose to be the light, no matter what they say to me.
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If you’re reading this, I love you. And if you’re reading this & thinking “fuck her! that stupid, fat, animal murdering POS!” I love you, too & I pray for the release of your pain. it’s going to be okay. 💜
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#intuitiveeating #edrecovery #growth #bodyshaming #goodvibesonly #lifestylechange #thickfit #fullmoon #lovemore
I am not responsible for anyone’s perception of me. I am also not responsible for the judgement that comes from that perception. . Yesterday I was hurt by the judgement, shaming, threats & unkind words I received in response to sharing my journey authentically. In my pain I lost my cool. I felt like I was being crucified for my truth & few things trigger me more than when I am told it’s not okay to be or express who I am. So, if I spoke rudely to you, I am sorry. Two wrongs will never make a right. I will never diffuse another person’s anger by inspiring more anger. (I will say that I am proud I didn’t lose my shit all together, though. Old me would have won that battle- verbal assault was my specialty. Although I wish I hadn’t reacted at all, I am proud of the growth that allowed me to quit before I embarrassed myself) . Today I am back on the vibe that best serves me (and the world) & I keep thinking of the MLKJr quote “darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.” I choose to be the light, no matter what they say to me. . If you’re reading this, I love you. And if you’re reading this & thinking “fuck her! that stupid, fat, animal murdering POS!” I love you, too & I pray for the release of your pain. it’s going to be okay. 💜 . . #intuitiveeating  #edrecovery  #growth  #bodyshaming  #goodvibesonly  #lifestylechange  #thickfit  #fullmoon  #lovemore 
Some lightbulb moments I’ve had since I said #FuckFoodRules:
1-when I stop making foods “forbidden” they are much less tempting. The idea that I cannot have it is half the appeal.
2-when I don’t have the mindset of “I will get back on track tomorrow” I am less tempted to binge, today.
3-I had no idea what my cravings were for. I would be “in the mood” for something but never took the time to identify “what.” As a result I was stuffing my face trying to satisfy a desire that could never be satisfied.
4-I had so many food, diet & exercise rules that I didn’t even know were rules. Every time I have a glimmer of doubt about what I am doing, I am tempted to implement some kind of rule. “What if I eat whatever I want but i use intermittent fasting? Or what if I at least start drinking a shake every day again!” NO ASHLEY. You’re in a phase that requires NO RULES.
5-I haven’t ever eaten according to my intuition. As far back as I can remember certain foods were restricted or I had to eat at certain times or cut out certain foods groups. No wonder I thought I needed meal plans.
6-success has nothing to do with willpower. Naturally thin or average weight people are not using willpower. Their psychology and hormones are different than those of chronic dieters. Instead of blaming the dieters for not having willpower, which the naturally thin may not have either, why not change the psychology of the dieters to match that of the people who are not obsessed with food?
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That’s what I am doing. I am changing how my mind perceives food so that my body will react to eating in a more positive way. I am taking a lesson from my ancestors and trusting my intuition to guide me to eat what it is that my body actually needs. I am learning to eat INTUITIVELY and it feels like FREEDOM.
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Part 2 of “f*ck food rules”  is up in the blog! Click link in bio & then choose “blog”
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& thank you to everyone who’s shared other intuitive eating accounts with me! Got this amazing graphic & lots of inspiration from @kristamurias 😍
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#lifestylechange #weightlossjourney #thickfit #intuitiveeating #selflove #goodvibesonly #personaldevelopment
Some lightbulb moments I’ve had since I said #FuckFoodRules : 1-when I stop making foods “forbidden” they are much less tempting. The idea that I cannot have it is half the appeal. 2-when I don’t have the mindset of “I will get back on track tomorrow” I am less tempted to binge, today. 3-I had no idea what my cravings were for. I would be “in the mood” for something but never took the time to identify “what.” As a result I was stuffing my face trying to satisfy a desire that could never be satisfied. 4-I had so many food, diet & exercise rules that I didn’t even know were rules. Every time I have a glimmer of doubt about what I am doing, I am tempted to implement some kind of rule. “What if I eat whatever I want but i use intermittent fasting? Or what if I at least start drinking a shake every day again!” NO ASHLEY. You’re in a phase that requires NO RULES. 5-I haven’t ever eaten according to my intuition. As far back as I can remember certain foods were restricted or I had to eat at certain times or cut out certain foods groups. No wonder I thought I needed meal plans. 6-success has nothing to do with willpower. Naturally thin or average weight people are not using willpower. Their psychology and hormones are different than those of chronic dieters. Instead of blaming the dieters for not having willpower, which the naturally thin may not have either, why not change the psychology of the dieters to match that of the people who are not obsessed with food? . That’s what I am doing. I am changing how my mind perceives food so that my body will react to eating in a more positive way. I am taking a lesson from my ancestors and trusting my intuition to guide me to eat what it is that my body actually needs. I am learning to eat INTUITIVELY and it feels like FREEDOM. . Part 2 of “f*ck food rules” is up in the blog! Click link in bio & then choose “blog” . & thank you to everyone who’s shared other intuitive eating accounts with me! Got this amazing graphic & lots of inspiration from @kristamurias 😍 . #lifestylechange  #weightlossjourney  #thickfit  #intuitiveeating  #selflove  #goodvibesonly  #personaldevelopment 
Double tap if you can relate 😋
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After 109 days of following my veganized leaky gut diet I was feeling pretty good. My sugar cravings had been intense the first few weeks but had nearly subsided. I was no longer bloated and getting used to eating such clean food 100% of the time. I had just finished training for and running a half marathon and decided I was going to treat myself with a vegan protein cookie- my first treat in more than 3 months. The cookie was no where near as good as i imagined it was going to be. But that didn’t matter. I had had a taste of sugar and my body wouldnt stop screaming MOREEEEEEEEE!!!! I went on a week long “bender” if you will. I desired and ate everything in my sight. I felt like complete crap, but not enough to stop eating. I told myself that every treat was “the last one” and fully indulged in the entire pack of oreos or the entire bag of chips. ”tomorrow I am starting back on track” but then when tomorrow came, I had no desire to start back up. My cravings were worse than ever and I felt like i couldnt say no to them. This went on for an entire week, stuffing my face, beating myself up and feeling guilty for having “no control” and then eating some more to try to suppress those feelings of guilt and shame and lack of control. Eventually I got it together and got back on track, but it was short lived.
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Post continues in the blog!
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As promised, I started writing about what I am going through and my decision to #ditchDietCulture and drop my food rules! Couldn’t cram it all into one post so I’m breaking it down. Part 1 is up now! Use the link in bio & then choose “Blog” 🤗
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@live.love.healthy.retreat
@affirmationstation
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#bingeeating #fitnesshumor #foodaddiction #foodporn #weightlossjourney #lifestylechange #thestruggle #thickfit #disorderedeating #bed #fat2fit #dietculturedropout #dietindustrydropout
Double tap if you can relate 😋 . After 109 days of following my veganized leaky gut diet I was feeling pretty good. My sugar cravings had been intense the first few weeks but had nearly subsided. I was no longer bloated and getting used to eating such clean food 100% of the time. I had just finished training for and running a half marathon and decided I was going to treat myself with a vegan protein cookie- my first treat in more than 3 months. The cookie was no where near as good as i imagined it was going to be. But that didn’t matter. I had had a taste of sugar and my body wouldnt stop screaming MOREEEEEEEEE!!!! I went on a week long “bender” if you will. I desired and ate everything in my sight. I felt like complete crap, but not enough to stop eating. I told myself that every treat was “the last one” and fully indulged in the entire pack of oreos or the entire bag of chips. ”tomorrow I am starting back on track” but then when tomorrow came, I had no desire to start back up. My cravings were worse than ever and I felt like i couldnt say no to them. This went on for an entire week, stuffing my face, beating myself up and feeling guilty for having “no control” and then eating some more to try to suppress those feelings of guilt and shame and lack of control. Eventually I got it together and got back on track, but it was short lived. . Post continues in the blog! . As promised, I started writing about what I am going through and my decision to #ditchDietCulture  and drop my food rules! Couldn’t cram it all into one post so I’m breaking it down. Part 1 is up now! Use the link in bio & then choose “Blog” 🤗 . @live.love.healthy.retreat @affirmationstation . #bingeeating  #fitnesshumor  #foodaddiction  #foodporn  #weightlossjourney  #lifestylechange  #thestruggle  #thickfit  #disorderedeating  #bed  #fat2fit  #dietculturedropout  #dietindustrydropout 
Last day of #BeYouBravely @newfigureforward yoga challenge and we get to choose our own pose. Naturally I chose #warrior pose because Until Recently I have lived as a warrior. In the first part of my life I experienced abandonment, disconnection and lack of understanding. I felt dissatisfied with who I thought I had to be and struggled to express myself for who I truly was. I experienced depression and practiced self harm. I grew up to be a rebellious, can’t tell me nothing, I will protect myself by any means necessary and tear you apart to make myself feel better, type. I spent years doing work that destroyed my spirit because I was so screwed up in my beliefs about my value.
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Until recently I had to be a warrior to protect myself. But I’m no longer in battle. I’m surrendering to what is and learning to go with the flow. I can put my guard down. I don’t have to fight anymore. I’m connected. I’m healthy. I’m getting in touch with who I really am. I finally know that I am never too much and never not enough. I’m learning that all men don’t want to use or abandon me. I’m learning I’m not only lovable but also loved and was wonderfully made with, and on, purpose. I’ve learned I am strong not only physically but mentally too. I am impactful and inspiring and gifted. I have guidance and faith. I may no be longer in battle but the warrior is still in my spirit. Today I honor her for protecting me when I needed her, but I willfully let her go. I am safe. 🧘‍♀️💜
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5 Star Memoir ‘Until Recently’ is available on Amazon- link in bio.
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@live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details!
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#weightlossjourney #lifestylechange #effyourbeautystandards #selflove #selfcare #thickfit #choosehappy #howbiggirlsgetfit #goodvibesonly #plussize #dietculturedropout #lifebydesign #glowup #selfharm #mermaidhair #yogachallenege #vulnerability
Last day of #BeYouBravely  @newfigureforward yoga challenge and we get to choose our own pose. Naturally I chose #warrior  pose because Until Recently I have lived as a warrior. In the first part of my life I experienced abandonment, disconnection and lack of understanding. I felt dissatisfied with who I thought I had to be and struggled to express myself for who I truly was. I experienced depression and practiced self harm. I grew up to be a rebellious, can’t tell me nothing, I will protect myself by any means necessary and tear you apart to make myself feel better, type. I spent years doing work that destroyed my spirit because I was so screwed up in my beliefs about my value. . Until recently I had to be a warrior to protect myself. But I’m no longer in battle. I’m surrendering to what is and learning to go with the flow. I can put my guard down. I don’t have to fight anymore. I’m connected. I’m healthy. I’m getting in touch with who I really am. I finally know that I am never too much and never not enough. I’m learning that all men don’t want to use or abandon me. I’m learning I’m not only lovable but also loved and was wonderfully made with, and on, purpose. I’ve learned I am strong not only physically but mentally too. I am impactful and inspiring and gifted. I have guidance and faith. I may no be longer in battle but the warrior is still in my spirit. Today I honor her for protecting me when I needed her, but I willfully let her go. I am safe. 🧘‍♀️💜 . 5 Star Memoir ‘Until Recently’ is available on Amazon- link in bio. . @live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details! . #weightlossjourney  #lifestylechange  #effyourbeautystandards  #selflove  #selfcare  #thickfit  #choosehappy  #howbiggirlsgetfit  #goodvibesonly  #plussize  #dietculturedropout  #lifebydesign  #glowup  #selfharm  #mermaidhair  #yogachallenege  #vulnerability 
Day 4 of #BeYouBravely @newfigureforward yoga challenge! Today we’re practicing #CowFace and it was my first time trying this pose! Definitely a good stretch but after seeing my pictures, I think my hips should’ve been a bit more square. No worries though, this is practice not perfection.
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The body part we’re loving on for day 4 is arms. I’d be lying if I said I’ve fully come to peace with my arms. To be honest, I haven’t even fully written off getting an arm lift yet. I don’t know why I am so resistant to my arm rolls... I’ve literally had them since birth so they are as much a part of me as my eyes or nose or feet. Maybe it’s because they’ve been mistaken for biceps many many times in my life. Someone compliments my arm and then comes over and squeezes it- as their facial expression changes from impressed to seemingly embarrassed for both of us. At my tiniest, appx 25% body fat, I still had them, so I know realistically without surgery they’re not going anywhere. So I have 3 options: get surgery, expect and manifest a miracle, or learn to love them. The last option is probably the healthiest and wisest, but also maybe the hardest. I’m past the point of hiding them or not wearing certain clothing because of them, but loving them entirely is still a work in progress. I understand that arms are a big insecurity in our community over all, so I am curious who can relate? Or even more so, who believes they’ve fully embraced their arms and would like to share some wisdom? Please do!
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5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio.
.
@live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details!
.
#weightlossjourney #lifestylechange #yogaoffthemat #effyourbeautystandards #selflove #selfcare #thickfit #choosehappy #howbiggirlsgetfit #mermaidhair #goodvibesonly #plussize #dietculturedropout
Day 4 of #BeYouBravely  @newfigureforward yoga challenge! Today we’re practicing #CowFace  and it was my first time trying this pose! Definitely a good stretch but after seeing my pictures, I think my hips should’ve been a bit more square. No worries though, this is practice not perfection. . The body part we’re loving on for day 4 is arms. I’d be lying if I said I’ve fully come to peace with my arms. To be honest, I haven’t even fully written off getting an arm lift yet. I don’t know why I am so resistant to my arm rolls... I’ve literally had them since birth so they are as much a part of me as my eyes or nose or feet. Maybe it’s because they’ve been mistaken for biceps many many times in my life. Someone compliments my arm and then comes over and squeezes it- as their facial expression changes from impressed to seemingly embarrassed for both of us. At my tiniest, appx 25% body fat, I still had them, so I know realistically without surgery they’re not going anywhere. So I have 3 options: get surgery, expect and manifest a miracle, or learn to love them. The last option is probably the healthiest and wisest, but also maybe the hardest. I’m past the point of hiding them or not wearing certain clothing because of them, but loving them entirely is still a work in progress. I understand that arms are a big insecurity in our community over all, so I am curious who can relate? Or even more so, who believes they’ve fully embraced their arms and would like to share some wisdom? Please do! . 5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio. . @live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details! . #weightlossjourney  #lifestylechange  #yogaoffthemat  #effyourbeautystandards  #selflove  #selfcare  #thickfit  #choosehappy  #howbiggirlsgetfit  #mermaidhair  #goodvibesonly  #plussize  #dietculturedropout 
I used to say I couldn’t do moderation. That if I had just a little, once the flood gates were open, it was over. So I did my best to avoid trigger foods by all means necessary. I went 109 days without consuming a single gram of added sugar, once. Then on day 110 I probably ate 200g sugar 🤦‍♀️ When I said #FuckFoodRules and allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, I definitely ate a whole bunch of unhealthy food the first few weeks. But rather than beating myself up for it I practiced loving and forgiving myself every single time. Then something AMAZING happened. I didn’t really want unhealthy food any more. My body went back to craving healthier food most of the time. The last few weeks have been eating bliss for me. I feel like for the first time in my life I am eating like a “normal” person. I can have ONE brownie and not eat the pan. I had a bag or tortilla chips in my house for two weeks recently 😱 those used to be one serving over here. No longer restricting, and not only loving myself through it but not beating myself up for it, is helping me to stop binge eating. This past year I ate and ate and ate and continually failed at forcing myself to stop. But “what you resist persists” so it makes perfect sense. Once I stopped resisting what I was experiencing and just allowed it to happen- WITHOUT JUDGEMENT OR PUNISHMENT- it ended. It feels weird right now, to feel so content, knowing only a few months ago my all day, every day, was consumed with thinking about and planning the next thing I would eat in shame. This feels like FREEDOM!
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It’s Day 3 of #BeYouBravely yoga challenge with @newfigureforward! Today we’re doing #downwardDog and embracing back rolls! Never thought I’d have them again, but guess what? I do! & I’m not going to stop living in and loving on this body because of it!
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5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio.
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@live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details!
.
#weightlossjourney #lifestylechange #yogaoffthemat #effyourbeautystandards #selflove #selfcare #thickfit #choosehappy #howbiggirlsgetfit #dietculturedropout
I used to say I couldn’t do moderation. That if I had just a little, once the flood gates were open, it was over. So I did my best to avoid trigger foods by all means necessary. I went 109 days without consuming a single gram of added sugar, once. Then on day 110 I probably ate 200g sugar 🤦‍♀️ When I said #FuckFoodRules  and allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted, I definitely ate a whole bunch of unhealthy food the first few weeks. But rather than beating myself up for it I practiced loving and forgiving myself every single time. Then something AMAZING happened. I didn’t really want unhealthy food any more. My body went back to craving healthier food most of the time. The last few weeks have been eating bliss for me. I feel like for the first time in my life I am eating like a “normal” person. I can have ONE brownie and not eat the pan. I had a bag or tortilla chips in my house for two weeks recently 😱 those used to be one serving over here. No longer restricting, and not only loving myself through it but not beating myself up for it, is helping me to stop binge eating. This past year I ate and ate and ate and continually failed at forcing myself to stop. But “what you resist persists” so it makes perfect sense. Once I stopped resisting what I was experiencing and just allowed it to happen- WITHOUT JUDGEMENT OR PUNISHMENT- it ended. It feels weird right now, to feel so content, knowing only a few months ago my all day, every day, was consumed with thinking about and planning the next thing I would eat in shame. This feels like FREEDOM! . It’s Day 3 of #BeYouBravely  yoga challenge with @newfigureforward! Today we’re doing #downwardDog  and embracing back rolls! Never thought I’d have them again, but guess what? I do! & I’m not going to stop living in and loving on this body because of it! . 5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio. . @live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details! . #weightlossjourney  #lifestylechange  #yogaoffthemat  #effyourbeautystandards  #selflove  #selfcare  #thickfit  #choosehappy  #howbiggirlsgetfit  #dietculturedropout 
THIS IMAGE IS SOME BULLSHIT! OMG it triggers TF out of me! & what’s crazy is I used to love (& share!) tips like this! Here’s the thing- this image- intended to be helpful, I know - suggests just one cookie or one soda or my favorite- two pieces of chocolate per week should be avoided because it adds up. If we avoided it we could save ourselves a whopping 25,000 calories over the course of a YEAR. Is that a joke? 25,000 calories over a year is NOTHING. I can clear 25,000 calories in 2-3 binge sessions! What’s true for me is that if I allow myself a couple treats per week, I actually save myself from consuming HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of binge calories over the course of a year. If you’re like me, and find yourself binging after you’ve been restricting, do your best not to take advice like this. The cure to end binge/restriction patterns is not MORE restriction. Go ahead and eat the cookie, drink the beer or eat the chocolate - especially if for you that means you’ll avoid eating the whole tray later. Moderation will not kill us, but #dietCulture just might! 🤬😡🤬 am I making sense or nah? .
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#weightlossjourney #lifestylechange #motivation #eatclean #thickfit #effyourbeautystandards #plussize #binge #bed #diet #dietculturedropout #moderation #balance #eatlikeanormalperson #keto #weightwatchers #bingeeatingdisorder #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery
THIS IMAGE IS SOME BULLSHIT! OMG it triggers TF out of me! & what’s crazy is I used to love (& share!) tips like this! Here’s the thing- this image- intended to be helpful, I know - suggests just one cookie or one soda or my favorite- two pieces of chocolate per week should be avoided because it adds up. If we avoided it we could save ourselves a whopping 25,000 calories over the course of a YEAR. Is that a joke? 25,000 calories over a year is NOTHING. I can clear 25,000 calories in 2-3 binge sessions! What’s true for me is that if I allow myself a couple treats per week, I actually save myself from consuming HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of binge calories over the course of a year. If you’re like me, and find yourself binging after you’ve been restricting, do your best not to take advice like this. The cure to end binge/restriction patterns is not MORE restriction. Go ahead and eat the cookie, drink the beer or eat the chocolate - especially if for you that means you’ll avoid eating the whole tray later. Moderation will not kill us, but #dietCulture  just might! 🤬😡🤬 am I making sense or nah? . . #weightlossjourney  #lifestylechange  #motivation  #eatclean  #thickfit  #effyourbeautystandards  #plussize  #binge  #bed  #diet  #dietculturedropout  #moderation  #balance  #eatlikeanormalperson  #keto  #weightwatchers  #bingeeatingdisorder  #bingeeatingdisorderrecovery 
Day 2 of the #beYouBravely yoga challenge with @newfigureforward! Today we’re practicing #treepose and embracing our thighs! we’re doing tree pose while celebrating tree trunks 😍😋
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I’ve never had a hard time embracing my thick thighs. I’ve always preferred a thick bottom half and recognized these legs are a gift! Not only am I so fortunate to have been born with a strong and functioning set, but they have carried me (literally) every step of this journey. They don’t care whether I’m 100lbs or 300lbs, they continue to support me.... kind of like you guys! Lol & if my legs are like you all, they are DEFINITELY awesome 😉🤗
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5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio.
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@live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details!
.
#selflove #selfcare #yogaoffthemat #thickfit #effyourbeautystandards #choosehappy #lifestylechange #healthylifestyle #howbiggirlsgetfit #yogachallenge #balance #goodvibesonly
Day 2 of the #beYouBravely  yoga challenge with @newfigureforward! Today we’re practicing #treepose  and embracing our thighs! we’re doing tree pose while celebrating tree trunks 😍😋 . I’ve never had a hard time embracing my thick thighs. I’ve always preferred a thick bottom half and recognized these legs are a gift! Not only am I so fortunate to have been born with a strong and functioning set, but they have carried me (literally) every step of this journey. They don’t care whether I’m 100lbs or 300lbs, they continue to support me.... kind of like you guys! Lol & if my legs are like you all, they are DEFINITELY awesome 😉🤗 . . 5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio. . @live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details! . #selflove  #selfcare  #yogaoffthemat  #thickfit  #effyourbeautystandards  #choosehappy  #lifestylechange  #healthylifestyle  #howbiggirlsgetfit  #yogachallenge  #balance  #goodvibesonly 
Day 1 of the #BeYouBravely @newfigureforward Yoga Challenge 🧘‍♀️ Today’s pose is #lotus which was funny to me because it’s a pose I’ve never been able to do past beginner level. I’ve got short and thick legs that haven’t quite embraced pretzel form yet and like most of us, I stick to sharing poses I am good at. So day 1 and I’m out of my comfort zone already! Lol today we are embracing loving our bellies, so rather than changing my pants because I knew they’d give me a muffin top on this pose, I said “fuck it” and took the dang picture! Part of LOVING MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY (see previous post) is not only sharing pictures that are flattering & not “hiding” until I have a before and after for comparison “it’s okay that I used to look like that, because now I look like this.” Nope. Not today Satan 😋 It’s okay that I look like this. It may be different than I have become accustomed to, but it is equally as beautiful 💜
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The amount of public support on my last post is OVERWHELMING! The amount of private concern is also a little overwhelming. I’ve gotten a handful of DMs from ladies who are concerned that I am quitting and asking me to please not hurt myself by making unhealthy choices. For anyone who may have misinterpreted, please understand that I am in a great space. By letting go of my eating and exercise rules I have not decided I will no longer eat healthy food or workout. I’m not quitting. On the contrary, I am making much better food choices than I was when I was eating clean half the time and binging 10,000 calories in a few hours, the other half. Since giving up on my rules I have also been more physically active than I was when I was committed to 5-6 days a week and skipping 2-3 of those and then beating myself up for it. I get that what I am doing is hard to understand and seems counteractive to healthy lifestyle but I promise it’s not. It IS healthy lifestyle. What it’s opposite of, is #DIETCULTURE, which we’ve been brainwashed to falsely believe is healthy lifestyle. 💜
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#selflove #bopo #thickfit #lifestylechange #healthy #effyourbeautystandards #choosehappy #balance
Day 1 of the #BeYouBravely  @newfigureforward Yoga Challenge 🧘‍♀️ Today’s pose is #lotus  which was funny to me because it’s a pose I’ve never been able to do past beginner level. I’ve got short and thick legs that haven’t quite embraced pretzel form yet and like most of us, I stick to sharing poses I am good at. So day 1 and I’m out of my comfort zone already! Lol today we are embracing loving our bellies, so rather than changing my pants because I knew they’d give me a muffin top on this pose, I said “fuck it” and took the dang picture! Part of LOVING MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY (see previous post) is not only sharing pictures that are flattering & not “hiding” until I have a before and after for comparison “it’s okay that I used to look like that, because now I look like this.” Nope. Not today Satan 😋 It’s okay that I look like this. It may be different than I have become accustomed to, but it is equally as beautiful 💜 . The amount of public support on my last post is OVERWHELMING! The amount of private concern is also a little overwhelming. I’ve gotten a handful of DMs from ladies who are concerned that I am quitting and asking me to please not hurt myself by making unhealthy choices. For anyone who may have misinterpreted, please understand that I am in a great space. By letting go of my eating and exercise rules I have not decided I will no longer eat healthy food or workout. I’m not quitting. On the contrary, I am making much better food choices than I was when I was eating clean half the time and binging 10,000 calories in a few hours, the other half. Since giving up on my rules I have also been more physically active than I was when I was committed to 5-6 days a week and skipping 2-3 of those and then beating myself up for it. I get that what I am doing is hard to understand and seems counteractive to healthy lifestyle but I promise it’s not. It IS healthy lifestyle. What it’s opposite of, is #DIETCULTURE , which we’ve been brainwashed to falsely believe is healthy lifestyle. 💜 . #selflove  #bopo  #thickfit  #lifestylechange  #healthy  #effyourbeautystandards  #choosehappy  #balance 
Last time I weighed myself, I had gained 40lbs since last summer 😱 HOW?! I ate my feelings (I published a memoir and spilled all my own dirt about working as a prostitute for 5 years, my mom moved in next door after not living in the same state for almost a decade, I met my biological father, I ended a toxic relationship with someone I love dearly, I found out I have a thickened endometrium [endometriosis not confirmed, but the idea it’s even a possibility I might struggle to have children literally makes me sick to my stomach] someone I was dating got someone else pregnant, and the list goes on) and eventually eating the emotions I wasn’t ready to process resulted in about 15lbs gained. But then I focused ALL my energy on “omg I am gaining weight”  and how to “make it stop”... consequently manifesting more and more weight gain (“what you focus on expands!” EOB quote)
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By the beginning of 2018, I was feeling like shit about myself... I couldn’t stop eating, I couldn’t get back into a regular workout routine and I suddenly realized all of this self love I thought I had embraced was CONDITIONAL. I had fallen in love with my ability to lose weight. I loved myself for crushing my goals. I loved myself for doing the thing I thought was impossible.... but how about LOVING MYSELF FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON? I was receiving a lesson. A lesson in unwavering unconditional love. I deserve my own love and affection no matter what shape I am in or how far I can run or what size I wear or how much weight I can squat.
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So I got to practicing loving myself unconditionally. The way my grandmother loves me, the way my dog loves me, the way God loves me. I stopped focusing on what I was doing that was “wrong” and rather, what I was doing that was right. I scrapped all of my exercise regimes and eating rules (I no longer identify as vegan 😱 blog post coming on that soon!) I got back to doing and focusing on what makes me feel FREE. Today, I feel good about myself. & it feels good to feel GOOD.
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5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio.
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@live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details!
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#thickfit #lifestylechange #bopo #selflove #selfcare
Last time I weighed myself, I had gained 40lbs since last summer 😱 HOW?! I ate my feelings (I published a memoir and spilled all my own dirt about working as a prostitute for 5 years, my mom moved in next door after not living in the same state for almost a decade, I met my biological father, I ended a toxic relationship with someone I love dearly, I found out I have a thickened endometrium [endometriosis not confirmed, but the idea it’s even a possibility I might struggle to have children literally makes me sick to my stomach] someone I was dating got someone else pregnant, and the list goes on) and eventually eating the emotions I wasn’t ready to process resulted in about 15lbs gained. But then I focused ALL my energy on “omg I am gaining weight” and how to “make it stop”... consequently manifesting more and more weight gain (“what you focus on expands!” EOB quote) . By the beginning of 2018, I was feeling like shit about myself... I couldn’t stop eating, I couldn’t get back into a regular workout routine and I suddenly realized all of this self love I thought I had embraced was CONDITIONAL. I had fallen in love with my ability to lose weight. I loved myself for crushing my goals. I loved myself for doing the thing I thought was impossible.... but how about LOVING MYSELF FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON? I was receiving a lesson. A lesson in unwavering unconditional love. I deserve my own love and affection no matter what shape I am in or how far I can run or what size I wear or how much weight I can squat. . So I got to practicing loving myself unconditionally. The way my grandmother loves me, the way my dog loves me, the way God loves me. I stopped focusing on what I was doing that was “wrong” and rather, what I was doing that was right. I scrapped all of my exercise regimes and eating rules (I no longer identify as vegan 😱 blog post coming on that soon!) I got back to doing and focusing on what makes me feel FREE. Today, I feel good about myself. & it feels good to feel GOOD. . 5 Star Memoir is available on Amazon- link in bio. . @live.love.healthy.retreat now booking for January 2019! DM for details! . #thickfit  #lifestylechange  #bopo  #selflove  #selfcare 
Meet me at the pool! 😂🏊‍♀️
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@live.love.healthy.retreat January 2019 now booking!
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5 Star memoir ‘Until Recently’ available on Amazon! Link in bio!
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#fitnesshumor #womenshumor #weightlosshumor #gotjokes #teamfit #fitfam #calories #lifestylechange #weightlossjourney #thickfit #goals
Beach, bootcamp, brunch and babes 😍🌴 Talk about a perfect Sunday! Congrats to these ladies for KILLING #biggirlbootcamp today! According to my @fitbit Versa I burned 1200 calories during our workout!! The weather forecast was iffy but it turned out to be the PERFECT beach day 😍🌴☀️
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I’ll be hosting a one day retreat in Massachusetts in the end of September and will prob do another one of these locally around the same time, when it’s a little cooler! Drop your email if you want to make sure you know details!
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#howbiggirlsgetfit #thickfit #biggirlfitgirl #plussize #effyourbeautystandards #hollywoodfl #hollywoodbeach #ftlaud #soflo #plantbased #plantstrong #wholefoodplantbased #kitehill #sunrise #kitehillyogurt
Beach, bootcamp, brunch and babes 😍🌴 Talk about a perfect Sunday! Congrats to these ladies for KILLING #biggirlbootcamp  today! According to my @fitbit Versa I burned 1200 calories during our workout!! The weather forecast was iffy but it turned out to be the PERFECT beach day 😍🌴☀️ . I’ll be hosting a one day retreat in Massachusetts in the end of September and will prob do another one of these locally around the same time, when it’s a little cooler! Drop your email if you want to make sure you know details! . #howbiggirlsgetfit  #thickfit  #biggirlfitgirl  #plussize  #effyourbeautystandards  #hollywoodfl  #hollywoodbeach  #ftlaud  #soflo  #plantbased  #plantstrong  #wholefoodplantbased  #kitehill  #sunrise  #kitehillyogurt