The beginning of the Tibetan
heart sutra. ✨❤️✨
Thanks to @francismorrisviolins for this exceptional cello, it was a joy to play for Dad’s memorial.🎻
A preview from our upcoming album; Ancient Songs with @chadviator ✨
May all beings find peace, and be free from suffering. Filming by my dear friend + amazing photographer @elaina.mortali
If you need to say something that’s on your heart, and it’s too painful to express, write it for yourself. This is ten drafts later and my Dad was so grateful to receive these words.💛
I’ve pondered quite a bit on why it’s hard for me to express my gratitude to you, as I feel it often.
Thank you for showing me how to love and connect with plants, trees and flowers.
Thank you for helping me to eat and make delicious food.
Thank you for helping me to learn to play the cello.
Thank you for helping me to explore drawing, painting, knitting, and using my hands to steady my mind.
Thank you for experiencing great enjoyment in books, music, poetry and art. I have yet to explore museums like you have, or read some of the great literary works you admire, but in time I will, and I will think of you.
You lived for art and beauty, and so do I.
Life is challenging and drinking in its natural beauty, a continuous and necessary inspiration.
Thanks for all the black current juice you’ve made, peach and apple sauce, tomato sauce, jams, breads, challah, carrot cakes, corn, peas, broccoli, greens, salad, beets, kobocha squash (my favorite!) blackberries, strawberries, and now… marijuana you are growing! As someone who didn’t experiment much as a teenager, (I’ll have the opportunity to make up for it now!) Thanks for the very special and beautiful cards you illustrated and wrote our children. They cherish them and along with their story books, and somehow know how unusual it is, to receive a gift like this from their grandfather. The enjoyment you felt drawing them, palpable.
Thank you for taking me to the Metropolitan Opera to see Mozart’s Magic Flute. It stands out in my memory and has left a deep impression of much needed daddy-daughter time. Thanks for including me in your work at Camphill Coopake, in my early twenties. It was important for me to experience how hard you worked. And the immense gratification you received from your gardens. I was delighted to play cello with the village's hand bell choir and have the opportunity to accompany them to Carnegie Hall.
(Continued in comments✨💛) photo by lovely @emilyfarmerphotography at #lakemartin two weeks ago!
My Dad walked into the light at sunset, just as the day slipped into dusk. I had said goodbye to him fifteen minutes before. I gathered the courage to place my hand on his heart and tell him I’ll miss him so much. I felt enormous pain, and Wrenna came in from the other side of the living room to comfort me. She said, “I know you are sad to loose your Daddy. I know you will miss him. He will be our angel. And you’ll let go Mom, it’s life and there are big changes in life.” I quietly took Wrenna’s hand and without saying goodbye to the rest of the family, as I was too upset, we went to our cloistered tent. Ten minutes later, my brother Johannes came and got us. “It happened,” he said. Pulling my body up, it felt like I had rocks tied to my heart. I walked in to see his body. ✨We built a fire to honor his ascension and I immediately felt better. I saw in my mind’s eye an art exhibition in the barn, of Dad’s work.
Fires are so healing. I love you Daddy. 🌝
(swipe left to see Wrenna dancing, something she only started after my dad passed.😘)
"The gateway of love is a felt sense of care and relatedness—with a loved one, with the earth, with a spiritual figure, and ultimately, with awareness itself. Just as a rose needs the encouragement of light, we need love. Otherwise, as poet Hafiz says, “We all remain too frightened.” 🍂
I spent the day sitting by my Father’s bedside, watching his breathing change, his eyes revert inward. I listened to my aunt Phyllis read stories to Wrenna. The stories somehow mirroring my thoughts perfectly. I was surprised how comfortable I felt. My oldest brother told me it felt like Yum Kippur in Israel. He went into Jerusalem to eat when he was in the Marines. A wonderful description of the energy of reverence. We know to offer reverence when someone is offering their devotion or in pain. We know to not pull their attention from soulful conversation. We offer our honor in the form of presence, our sincerest gift. 🍂
The energy of Birth;: the feeling of being in love and ecstasy, pain and patience.
The energy of Death, a faint whisper of longing, and recognition. In connection with nature, appreciation of beauty. ✨The great h e a l I n g.✨ #hoponopono
Suspended moments with this little angel...
Her song for her Grandpa:
When the wind blows
The cradle will sail,
Out of love
When the wind blows
The ship will sail...💔
Every moment counts, so grateful.
We made kale salad straight from the garden and ate it with warm, freshly baked sourdough bread. We are so lucky to eat this vibrant and organically grown food. Thanks Dad.
I asked my Father, if he feels loved right now. He said yes. 💔 He told my aunt he feels like he is on an endless airplane flight. He is mostly sleeping now.🦋 If you can, connect with more intention and give the love you long for. You count too.
✨Life is but a dream.✨
A dear friend of Dad’s called today and asked if I remember my Dad singing to me before bed, when I was a small child. I have faint memories. Then she asked if would sing for Dad to help him transition. She said he always knew I would be a singer. (I didn’t know this.) And that he would be with me every time I sing from now onwards...I wept.
I started by playing him a few new tracks from our upcoming album, “Ancient Songs.” Music I anticipated he might never hear. The mesmerizing affects of the music amazed me. He listened and drifted. When the first track was over he said. “This music is absolutely beautiful.” A blessing I never anticipated. I wept again.
It will be extra special when I can share this music with all of you. I found this butterfly drinking on my Dad’s hydrangeas. A sign.🦋
I am heavy hearted today. Dad is beginning his transition. Even knowing his suffering will end, the thought of him not seeing our children again is heartbreaking. They have a special bond. He was there after each of their births.
I feel numb and listless. Like someone pressed, “pause.” We’ve been anticipating this, but it only became real yesterday. He stopped eating.
Like birth, death is often hidden and seen as a taboo and uncomfortable subject. I even feel slightly cautious sharing this. But something magical happens when our loved ones become our angels. “We are all walking each other home.” -Ram Das ✨
(This is my pretty Mom, sitting to my Dad’s left 💛) #dad#transition#dying#lettinggo#doorwaytolight#ramdass#family#parents#collectiveconsciousness
Country sunsets with friends, leave a special kind of satisfaction. Thank you to this sweetheart (swipe left) for a very inspiring evening on their farm. We all soaked up animal love and that good farm feeling. ✨
The kids caught + held chickens, even Sol, the two year old caught one laughing his head off! 🤣They fed alfalfa cubes to Daisy, the gentle Mama cow, fished + put the fish back in the pond. Wrenna felt strongly about this. 🐓🦆🐠🐛🐄🐥
Thank you Stevie @harlowhousefarm for a wonderful evening, delicious food and the joy of being in a love-filled + magical, old Cajun home. I am already looking forward to the next time. But first, you’ll come enjoy our urban homestead. ✨
I met Stevie @festivalacadien in the middle of the dance floor, with her baby in a sling which now decorates her milking parlor ceiling. She is adorable. Recognizing me, and said, “I listen to you sing every night, when I take my bath.” I felt touched and get excited when my two loves parallel each other: family, plants + music. 🎶😂