I've always wondered if love had a smell
and if it did then I'm sure
i. It would smell like the mornings we spent in Darjeeling;
those misty and rainy days we spent near the window sipping our hot coffee while having our random conversations.
ii. It's the smell of pasta cooking on a sunday morning when we were too lazy to get up from bed, just enjoying the warmth of each other
and refusing to leave our cozy sheets till hunger got the best of us.
iii. It's smell of those afternoons when we took long walks along the beach just holding hands while the wind kissed our hair and the waves caressed our feet.
iv. It's the smell of popcorn we used to buy while going in for movies and like always used to end up fighting over.
v. It's the smell of the roses he got me after every fight even though he knew that I didn't like roses.
vi. It's the smell of the chocolate cake he religiously baked for my every birthday even though it was a disaster.
vi. It's the smell of our tears on that night we said goodbye cause what we had was coming to an end and love just want enough.
If love had a smell even today it would smell like him.
I had saved our memories in a keepsake box and
if I open the box among the ticket stubs, dried roses, the pictures and the tear stained good bye note,
I would still be able to smell him.
I would still smell the essence of who we used to be,
I would still be able to smell love.
If love had a smell today it would smell like that dusty forgotten box.
pic courtesy - @weheartit
당신이 뭐가 그리도 좋았던지
많은 계절이 지났지만
저는 아직 여전하네요
아직 당신을 못잊고
붙잡고 사는건 아니니 걱정말아요
세상에 제 사람은 없다고 생각했는데
제 사람이었으면 좋겠다고 생각되어지는
그 사람 정말 괜찮더라고요
그 사람을 보면 제 우울도 웃게되는걸 보면요
당신보다 더 괜찮은 사람이었어요
저 쉽게 마음 잘 안주시는 거 알잖아요
아 모르실수도 있겠다
당신에겐 주기만 했었으니
당신도 괜찮은 사람이었겠죠 그때는
어려운 제 마음을 쉽게 만든걸 보면요
저는 참 좋아하게된 사람에게는
당신이 저를 떠나간 이후에는
쉬운사람이 되는게 참 어려웠어요
정말 괜찮은 그 사람에게도 말이예요
그 사람에게 다가갔냐고요?
아니요 저 그사람에게 다가가지도 못했어요
제 마음은 그곳을 향하는 데도
지금이 그 타이밍인데도
저는 그냥 포기하기로 했어요
아직 전 준비가 안되었나 봐요
이렇게 용기가 없는 걸 보니
그래서 저는 아직 여전해요
나아지지도 행복하지도 않고
그저 적당한 우울을 지키며 살아요
당신은 제 행복만 봤으니
제 적당한 우울을 보면
많이 달라졌다고 생각할 수도 있겠네요
하지만 전 여전하고 이게 저인걸요
제 생각 안나겠지만 가끔 제 생각해줘요
저도 가끔 당신 생각하게 되었으니까요
There are those who cobble together words to form a menu or website and put it out for the public's consumption but would not class themselves as writers. It's not only authors and journalists who can claim that title. Although, there's the all-important stage of having @write_copy_services pass an experienced editing eye over said words 'before' they are exposed. Strange but true! 🎏🖤
A reoccurring theme in my journal entries as of late: my grown woman-ness. Grown woman ness as a result of years of concentrated and disciplined self reflection and development. My entire early twenties were devoted to doing the work of cultivating the type of person that I wanted to be. Clear, healthy, reflective, honest, open. I didn’t hang out with folks much during this time. When I went out I was often by myself. Spending time with me. I was not lonely at all. Loneliness is the unpleasant feeling when there’s an absence of others. “Solitude is being in the presence of yourself.” (Gem drop from @nonilimar & @theamonyee #AllHeart podcast).
I was reading the necessary texts, writing, exercising, eating clean (real) foods, cultivating who I wanted “me” to be. I had already been a healthy and well adjusted young woman before I went into this process. But what this self work did was make me powerful.
My sister friends and homegirls call me all the time about their tribulations. They call me for advice. Asking how to deal with the pain and disappointment that they’re experiencing because of somebody else’s behavior. I listen. And almost every time the answer comes down to one thing: Change your relationship with yourself. Be clear about what you desire and what you require. What you accommodate and what you will not tolerate. But be flexible enough to offer people in your life the time to evolve. This is grace. This is grown woman business. Have y’all done y’all work yet? Tell me.