Here's what I think. I think it's so god damn easy to think you're worthless. It's easy to find the evidence to support the claim that whatever you're doing, or want to do in this life, is a waste of time. You spend your days desperately holding onto the belief that there is magic left, and all you want to do, is to contribute your own brand of beautiful something into the world. It's hard to find the strength to slug through the mess, despite everything your own mind throws at you, toward what you truly believe is important. The best I can figure out is that you first have to get good at standing up through the mud, and moving through it. you have to learn to trust and distrust yourself in equal measures, depending on where the voice is coming from. You have to embrace the fact that we all, each of us, have the best and the worst of everything inside of us and most of all, you have to find a way to be proud of yourself for trying. Trying is the most beautiful thing. You have a wondrous belief, and to live your life holding on to it's beauty and potential despite every bad or contrary instinct, is incredibly Admirable and inspiring. I'm just personally trying to give that positive part of myself control of the wheel for a little while, and giving it a red hot fucking go. And I can honestly say, even when it's hard, it's much easier than it used to be.