I think sometimes its easy to forget how far you have come when you get focused on how far you still are from your goal.
I saw some friends a couple weeks ago that I hadn't seen in years and they said to me...you lost so much weight, you look so good. And you know the thought that popped into my head was?? I still have so far to go, I don't look look now.
Isn't that sad? I think it's easy to forget how far we have come....and we need to be proud of that, regardless where we are in the process. We have to embrace where we are as part of our journey and congratulate ourselves along the way.
Honestly, for me these two photos aren't even about weight. When I look at that girl on the left I see someone who was struggling big time. I was stuck. I wasn't focusing at all on my physical health, and definately not on my mental health.
Over this year I have made my all around health a priority. It was the focus I needed, the only way to move forward and get to a better place. And I am so thankful for that, who knows where I would be without it?
I do still have a ways to go, but from now on, I am going to let myself be proud of where I am currently and continue to focus on becoming who I want to become every single day.
Being positive doesn't mean ignoring the negative. Being positive means overcoming the negative. There's a big difference there.
The times you don't feel like being positive, but choose to be anyway....those are the times that matter.
You may not be able to control the things that happen or are happening. But you can definatley control how you respond to them and your attitude towards them. Don't let negative thoughts grow and ruin your life.
I wanna talk about truth telling and sharing your story for a sec. Geeeeez this is a subject that makes me shake somethin’ fierce with passion.
I need you to know YOUR STORY, YOUR VOICE IS WORTHY OF BEING HEARD.
The TRUTH of YOUR PERSON who is no longer here with you, and the WAY THEY LOVED YOU is WORTHY of being SHARED.
I don’t care if you’re 10 days out, 10 years removed... whatever... that story, that truth of your life before it was shaken, the truth of the love between you before it was taken... damnit that shit needs a place to fly and land and be witnessed. Your love and your person gets a freakin witness, ok!? You get to decide how and when and where.💛
But please, PLEASE don’t let anyone guilt or shame you into silence, wid, if you need to lift the lid on it. Not one person decides when you do or when you stop sharing who they were to you. Please. I am begging you.
You know what... I sat with it, I sat with heavy duty guilt and shame about HOW Shayne died for months thinking thats who people would judge him as. I was presented with a “serendipitous” opp to share the truth of his death on a fellow braveheart’s blog @kindraleemurphy 🔥 The truth of how and why he died was eating me alive. It was breaking me down. It was creating a massive emotional tumor that I didnt want to carry, couldn’t!, so?, I surgically removed that shit and let it go. I cannot carry this grief AND a f*cking secret, too...!?! Nah uh. NO WAY. Truth tellers, you are welcome here. You are encouraged here. You MATTER HERE. That big love that you’re wrapping yourself up with so tight and have no place to put it? It can land here. We accept it. All of it. No shame. No guilt. All acceptance and love.
If you would like to share your truth and your amazing person and their love for you, message me here or e-mail💛✨The goal here? Let our SOULS SHINE.🌅 Give that big love a place to go. #letthewidowspeak#widowspeakcommunity 💌e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
I don't have control over the brokenness in my life.
I didn't ask for grief to take over my life. I didn't welcome grief into my every day living. Grief came in unwelcomed and uninvited.
I do, however, have control how I put my broken pieces together. I do control how I get up each day and continue to rebuild my life.
I'm responsible for taking each broken piece and figuring out where it now belongs.
Comment if you agree ❤
Here’s my take away from all the Summit Speakers I’ve heard so far and my truth in all of this!
(Oh wait- do you know about After Chloe and Friends Living After Loss Online Summit?
If not, click on the link in the bio for free daily Access!!! ( hurry it starts 12/10!!!))
Here’s the truth, there’s no end, cure or solution for grief and loss! But there is the ability to soothe yourself and get to the love that remains!
How do you do this?
There are so many ways! And 26 speakers speak on the hows, the whys and the struggles of grief and loss. But the truth in all of this is to permit yourself!
Give yourself the ability to feel what you feel! No matter what! Allow your feelings, your grief, and your process!
It’s easy and complicated and impossible, but you need to know what all the options are! There may not be an end, but there is the ability to feel with your heart!! Start there!
Feel your feelings
And never forget or deny all the love that will forever and ever remain!
We hope to see you at the Summit!
I am widowed, therefore sharing my truth to be relayed and received and understood by other widows. If someone else catches it and happens to resonate, even better. But this one goes out to the #widowwarrior 🔥
I don't write this to make everyone understand, I write so that those that understand, don't feel so alone.💛
Thats how we relate... our boldness in sharing our truths creates freedom in someone else...💛 pass it on.
I strongly desire all of us to seek and find our people who "get it."💛
Link, also in bio: tinyurl.com/widowrelate
Charles is 1.5 today! So far he’s turned out to be strong-willed, loud, and outgoing like his mama and determined, infinitely curious, and tough like dad. His favorite thing to do is chase my father around the kitchen islands. Our biggest challenge is getting him to sit in seats. We’ve just entered stomping temper tantrum land. But he makes up for it by being gentle and cuddly and best of all, sleeps consistently through the night.
Occasions like this that remind me of his age come as a double-edged sword. I look at him and I see exactly how long Ryan has been gone for. Ryan left us on Charles’ 9th day. He was born the same day of Ryan’s final hospital admission and for a week of our lives, the three of us we all patients of UCLA.
Charlie is everything I didn’t know I’d need to get me through the loss of a lifetime. Our daily life is full of laughter and mischief and love. But I also constantly remind myself that while he’s been so great for me to have, I need to be even better for him.
Ryan and I decided to conceive the day we found out he was terminal. The greatest gift of my life was the full confidence of a man I admired so much in raising his son alone. Through all of this, that fact, that he picked me and trusted me and believed in me, to raise his children to be as great as he was is what really gets me by.
Do you never know what to say when people ask you what you want for Christmas?
What if this year you asked for your health?
What if you decided that it wasn't selfish to fill your own cup, but actually essential to be able to be there for the ones you love the way you want to be?
What if you said yes and joined us? What would you get? .
You would get a virtual community full of people who want to see you succeed, who are there to build you up, who would be with you every step of the way. We are a group with the same struggles...showing up for each other every day. Ask yourself, how would 2019 be different for you if you started the year making yourself a priority?
We have an amazing new program coming out, an amazing trainer, all workouts and nutrition plans ready for you...all you have to do is say yes. Ask for your health this Christmas, it quite possibly could be your best gift ever!
Comment below or DM me and I'll get you all the information you need!
“It’s help me get back to laughing again. Grief is really really hard on your heart”—Phyllis Rogers about her widow support group- @balconywomen
Thank you Melissa and Shae for this lovebomb! ❤️
We see and hear your truth because we are living it, too. We are here to welcome you in. 🔥💛COME👏🏻AS👏🏻YOU👏🏻ARE🔥💛 You can show up and feel alone but know ...you’re not alone. Broken, hurt, tired, used up, worn out, fresh in the trench or 10 years out, angry, joyful, grateful, maniacal! You’re not the only one. Whatever season of widowhood you’re floating in... we are huddled together in a private community of “yup, I get its” on Facebook. ✨Link in bio.✨ Join our hug. You can sit with us💛 #widowed#widowspeakcommunity
Will you join us in prayer 🙏 for the homeless and displaced children/ families all over. I received news recently of children that are homeless due to the 🔥 fires 🔥. We are working together to try to help brighten there Christmas 🎄 trying to get toys gas cards as some live in their vehicles 🚗. Also many homes 🏠 are without power still . I know God can do what we feel is impossible TGBTG for all He does . If anyone can help let me know . I have a Venmo account which makes it simple to donate and assist. God says ask and it shall be given .. thank you 🙏 there are 25 kids and 15 are homeless from 3 mos to 13 yo the older are special needs . They are affiliated with a church and are non profit so for someone a business needing a tax write off this may help you as well ...Your prayers are appreciated very much LOVEHARD God Bless You Thank You 🙏 #love#worship#lovequotes#families#family#thankful#godwhereismyboaz#faith#happyanniversary#happybirthday#widowsupport#ephesians320#ephesians
For anyone grieving at this time of year. Whether it’s a recent bereavement or many years later... it can be ridiculously hard. So many memories, so much heartbreak, all those milestones.
I know it’s hard in the lead up till Christmas... You will get through this. Be kind to you at this time. 🙏 Much love K
I hope you know you are loved. Always in all ways. Your love for your person matters, but so does the love you should be giving yourself. You are worthy of it and you deserve it. Especially during your griefiest moments, keep forgiving yourself. Stay kind to you💛 #widowspeakcommunity#selflove
Don’t let stuff get in the way of happiness and celebrating.I want to encourage everyone to get closer.. yes closer to yourself, Husband, wife , friends and family etc . Overall get closer to God .. because when one does it makes life more pleasurable.💕🙏💕Be intentional to talk more than text or post ... make dates for Date Nights.. Lunch or workout sessions .We are in the Holiday season Christmas 🎄 etc.. it can be cayotic .. but don’t let it .. smile relax .. please make loads of memories together.. share lots and lots of hugs and sweet kisses 😘 too if you desire . Cuddling is fun . Lol ..To all the couples out their keep dating your spouse like you are trying to win their hearts 💕.. the joy and love you spill into one another is Treasure and it will always live in your hearts even when you’re apart .. soooo LOVEHARD because love ❤️ is beautiful God’s blessings over us all Good Night 😴💤😘#love#goodmorning#goodnight#happybirthday#family#marriage#faith#wedding#christmas#hugmejesus#godwhereismyboaz#widowsupport#widowers#church#datenight
The waves tried to hate on us, but ain't no stopping us (now or never)! Our travels continue and he's always with me, especially at the beach which is one of his favorite places. I make it a point to engrave Gabriel's name (or as I call him Gabby) name in the sand every beach destination so Bahia was no different.
Here's to the new journey while celebrating memories of the past (the last pic is our 1st anny trip to Barbados in 2014). #GabeLivesForever#honoryourlovedones#myangelGabriel#MCE#WanderfulLAWS | 📸: @candachay
And it’s time! I am beyond proud to bring you, with a lot of help from my Team and my Friends!
After Chloe & Friends Living After Loss Online Summit!
We have a speaker for every topic surrounding All that comes with loss and finding your way to Living After Loss.
I state, your way because there is no easy! There is no one set way but I will only guarantee that one of these speakers will help you to gain perspective, to not feel so alone and to know that you have support throughout the holiday season and into next year!
I send you all my love and grace! Click on the link in my bio, you get free access daily and there will be many surprises along the way!
I encourage you to take it moment by moment and even if you don’t think this Summit is for you, at least take a look to see if something or someone resonates with you!
Hurry the Summit starts Monday 12/10 and goes until 12/18/18! 💛🙌🏻
Family isn't always blood.
It's the people in your life, who want you in theirs.
The ones who accept you for who you are. .
The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and love you no matter what.
I am so very thankful to still have these two in my life. Since Steve's death they have helped me so much, in ways they don't even realize, ways that make me grateful for them every single day. .
And... I know that when Steve checks in on us, this makes him happy too 💜