“Every flower is a soul blossoming in nature!” ~ Gerard De Naval
Our souls too blossom in nature. Have you gone out and enjoyed nature allowing the beauty that surrounds you to bring your soul into blossom?
Happy, happy Sunday!!! #Free Drop a comment what’s shaken today? 💥
Tell me 2 to 3 things that you’re doing today to support your well-being. For every comment your name goes in a hat for a drawing for a FREE 60 minute break through call! www.RenegadeWidow.com/apply
You’ll be glad you did. Gratitude improves psychological health. Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression. Gratitude enhances empathy and reduces aggression. ⠀
Gratitude helps you to sleep better and improves relationships. The list goes on! Practice gratitude everyday. 🙏🏻
You have to SEE it before you can SEE it!!! About a year or so ago, I very clearly saw myself sharing my journey and the birth of Premature Widow on a live TV platform. I didn’t know how or when it would happen but I kept that vision in my mind believing that one day, it would be manifested into reality. All I can say is, when you OBEY God, He will do the rest!! THIS IS THE LORDS DOING!!! •
•••••••••••••••Tune in and catch Premature Widow LIVE on Good Day DC this Thursday at 10am. •••••••••••••••This is just the beginning of God has in store for me and the lives He will allow me to touch!! It’s a HUGE assignment on my life and I don’t take it lightly!! To God be ALL the Glory for the MARVELOUS things He has done!🙌🏽#grateful#humbled#favored#prematurewidow#widowadvocate#widows#widowhood#youngwidows#widowedlife#gooddaydcfox5#thisisjustthebeginning#godisamazinglyawesome
The rest will work itself out. ⠀
My mom used to say “In 30 years, on a fast moving train, no one’s going to give a damn” This was a woman that faced a good amount of tragedy so she was certainly a reliable source, having dealt with so much! My mom was brilliant and she’s the one that gave me my insanely quirky sense of humor!! I also got a lovely dose of honesty and kindness. Well my dad contributed also! He used to say “She got her looks from me, and took all that I had. ⠀
Anyway, I digress. ⠀
Always be kind, you never know what someone is going through. This is my mantra and my approach to life. #LiveLoved#LiveLoving
Grace is a wonderful and almost magical experience to give to yourself and to everyone around you. It takes so much pressure off. It truly is an extension of love.
When someone offends you, 98% of the time it has nothing to do with you. As you internalize that fact, accept and believe it, it opens up so much space in your heart and your mind and in your spirit you can’t help but be better for it. Make grace your way of life, part of who you are.
The person that pulls out in front of you, or is going too slow on the freeway, (my pet peeve) or seems to be rude to you, in the grocery store, your coworker, your mom, your dad, your cousin, your friends, your husband or wife, we never know what is churning deep down inside of them to cause them to be distant or rude or uncaring.
All we know is we feel slighted or insignificant but the reality is - It is not about you. If it’s about you, they will let you know and if they don’t it isn’t worth it anyway.♥️ #MagicalGrace#LiveLoved
We grew up fishing with my dad. On boats, on docks, on lakes, and on oceans. Although I rarely fish as an adult, I’ve always loved the quiet meditation of sitting on the water, basking in the sun, and - if you’re lucky - getting a couple of bites. Today my dad got to take the next generation fishing and teach his grandson the lessons of the sea. We may not have caught anything, but we had a pretty great time trying. #forcedjoyproject
Being a solo mom isn’t always pretty. I long for my husband to be here again. To be my back-up, my partner, help me with parenting decisions, play good cop/bad cop. And all the other highs and lows of parenting.
Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Doing it on your own through grief is sometimes a struggle.
Asking for help has been a life saver for me. My children have also been a life saver. Giving me my smiles. Keeping me motivated. They are my WHY.
I work with moms who are at the end of their rope. Who want to be great parents but sometimes don’t know what they’re doing. Helping hide moms with health recommendations for themselves and their kids. I’m a Superbaby & Supermom mentor.
If I can do it, so can you. Let me help. PM me if you want to chat about how we can work together. 💕
At times it may seem grief is a barrier, but it’s truly not! It’s the way to healing if we allow ourselves to go into it. "I go beyond barriers to possibilities" — Louise Hay #widow#grief#possibilities#nobarriers#widow
Not in a million years would I have thought that clearing out my late husband’s belongings would get me feeling lighter and assist in my healing. After all, I was removing his things from my life. There were emotions, memories, and stories attached. Our stories.
But, it did just that. As hard as it was to do, it brought about a lightness and much needed emotional healing. When we are able to let go of the attachment to things, we are able to let go of the pain.
Our shared times are lost forever
The times we shared together alone are lost forever. It’s a part of me only he knew. That part of myself and my story died with him. There is nobody to remind me of it. To help me relive those moments or to say, “do you remember when….”. It’s gone! All gone.
Our shared story is gone and that made going through and clearing my husband’s belongings both overwhelming and emotionally challenging. For me, it wasn’t the possession itself so much as it was the memory attached to it that made it hard to let go. I felt as though getting rid of certain things, would also get rid of the memory. In some cases it did. In others, not so much.
Into the first clearing, I went...Read about it on the blog. Link in bio #grief#widow#clearing#belongings
I don’t choose joy over grief. I choose joy and grief. I choose to sit with my joy just as I choose to sit with my grief. Sometimes I’m not sure which is harder to sit with; which is harder to acknowledge. But I know both are real. Both are valid. Both demand to be felt. #forcedjoyproject
Learn to like yourself.
Heck....learn to love yourself. Respect yourself.
Care for yourself.
Look back. Look forward. See how far you’ve come.
It might be a dark time for you. It might not. Either way, you’ve been in difficult times before. Be patient. Work hard. Be at peace. Be at rest.
Love you all and thanks again for joining my journey.
Are you looking for a new kind of online support group? One that offers encouragement, inspiration, and guidance to cross that liminal space threshold?
If you would like to be part of this reemerging group of other widows, you’ll find the join link in my bio! 👭Together, let's reemerge as women transformed into living a full life with passion and purpose! #grief#widow#reemerge#transformation
Everything about this is true.
These last two weeks have been hard, and I'm not sure why exactly. They say grief comes in waves...and that is the truth. It feels like I'm trapped in the current and every time I see the sun, I once again get sucked under.
Everything is mentally exhausting...fighting with creditors for my husbands bills, the realization that I do have do sell things to pay the bills, and then trying to remember that they are JUST things. Changing things in the house to make it "mine". Opening a drawer and finding one of his "to do" lists.
Ughhh...life is tough.
I really am a positive person, I see the best in situations, people and circumstances. I love being able to help people go through similar life experiences and come out better in the end. But life is hard.
I want to move forward with my life and honor my husband. I want to hold onto every single memory and use them to drive me to have make new memories. And I want to do all that with a smile on my face and a feeling of peace in my heart.
I will get there.
One day at a time.
Through the set backs and struggles.
I will feel peace again in my heart.
***LINK IN BIO*** Read more there. Hope for Widows Foundation is excited to share their new partnership with Sanity & Self. (@sanityandself)
Sanity & Self is a new guided wellness women only app that helps women squeeze in time to take care of themselves through short, interactive audio sessions guided by mindfulness, fitness and personal growth experts. No matter if you have two minutes or an hour, Sanity & Self gives you quick and easy ways to re-energize, recharge and restore. Through a community of peers and experts, women can connect on the topics that are important to them, whether it’s wellness, feel-good workouts, parenting or more. Hundreds of sessions from experts in sleep, massage, beauty, running, self-empowerment, personal training, yoga, breathing, meditation and more. It’s time to take care of YOU. Hope for Widows Foundation members can use the promo code HEALINGHAPPENS. This will give you 30 days of premium subscription for FREE. Where you can see if you like and enjoy! Note the app is currently available for Apple, with availability for Android coming soon.
Visit their website to learn more at: https://www.sanityandself.com
Just because I'm grieving doesn't mean that I don't trust God. It doesn't mean I don't have hope. It doesn't mean I'm depressed. All it means is that I just need to be sad for a while, because I lost the one I loved more than anything in this world.
I think the reason why so many people can't cope these days is because they never actually let themselves feel emotions and deal with the pain. We're always told we have to push it away and put on a brave and happy face.
Well you know what? Jesus never told us not to be sad. He cried over the death of his friend Lazarus, even when he knew the outcome- that he would bring him back to life! It's okay to feel, and I'm not going to push that away. I'm not going to force myself to be happy. I know things won't be like this forever, but I do know that I'm going to be sad for a long time...and that's okay.
Sometimes when people are hurting, they don't need you to try to encourage them or make them feel better. Because when you go through a devastating loss, there ARE no words that will make it better. Sometimes they just need you to sit there with them and let them be sad...and maybe not say anything at all.
Do you ever feel mad or sad or anxious and wish you could just snap out of it?
Well, the good news is you can! Learning to redirect your focus and what you are obsessing on. 😅
Instead, think of a time when you were so lost in a fascinating activity that you forgot your everyday concerns. 💥This can be reading a good story, painting, hiking, listening to good music while you cook, connecting with God, nature, spending time with loved ones. (some of my favorites) and simply enjoy. 🌻🌸🌱🐾
You can train your brain to be in a focused mode.... just be sure to focus on positive things that bring you pleasure and make you happy. 😍
Life is full of simple pleasures. Be present, if you struggle, take some deep breath’s and with intention, fully attend to the world, your surroundings, and appreciate small wonders. ♥️ You tend to feel happier in this mode, because you're taking in something that interests you and not as easily distracted.
I wrote a new post.
It's not about clothes or the next big trend or my favorite winery or the best place to grab brunch.
It's real, raw, definitely not going to get me any sponsored posts, and I didn't run it by anyone before hitting publish.
But it's from the depths of my heart. And if I'm being honest, it was more for me and the two men I wrote it to than anyone else. But I hope it may help someone else who has experienced the same loss and new feelings ❤ (You know the drill... link in bio *cue all the vulnerability feels and crawling into a hole*) 📷Unsplash//Florian Klauer
SO many moments in this if you get the chance to watch (ABC iview) I could really relate to Terri when she said she didn't expect the fear #widow#widowhood#wifeinterrupted and the portrait is stunning as always
Pain is pain. If you minimise anyone’s loss and pain by saying this statement you are being cruel and insensitive. It’s not supportive or compassionate or helpful. It’s judgement and feels dismissive of completely justified feelings. You don’t know if someone is barely holding it together, contemplating ending their life and used every ounce of strength to get out of bed today. That statement is a slap in the face and could be enough to push someone over the edge. Let them know it’s ok to feel everything they are going through. There is not right or wrong way to grieve and no time limit. The bigger the love the bigger the grief. Love never dies. 🌸❤️🌈
2004 vs 2018
Camera phones had not been invented yet, the iPhone didn’t exist, instagram wasn’t a thing and Facebook was just beginning
Out of the vault of photos lays this selfie. I was 18 years old👧🏼
Aren’t those supposed to be the best years of your life? 🧐
I don’t look back at my college days green with envy because I’m living the best life right now!
A triumvirate that had always eluded me, but getting here took heartbreak and years of self reflection.
As I was falling apart and my life was shattered, I traced around the jagged edges realizing life is unfair. Life will tear you in half, and nothing can ever prepare you for the worst is has to offer
But it’s YOUR choice on how you deal with it.
She who has the will to succeed cannot be beat. ❤️💛❤️
First time on a swing 😍 Lachlan is 10 months & growing fast! Madison’s first few years were such a blur! I hardly remember her at this age as Nathan’s illness & death overshadowed everything in our life.. With Lachlan, I wanted to savour every moment & cleared my schedule so I wasn’t too busy to be distracted by all the moments I’d longed for. There has been a lot of joys these past 10 months BUT also lots of triggers calling me to focus more on HEALING & SELF LOVE. Lots of time to reflect on my grief & trauma during Madison’s first year of life. Not many people know that Lachlan’s birth was a traumatic experience & I had health issues when I came home from hospital with him. I had Placenta Previa & suspected Placenta Accreta, a very dangerous condition for both mother & child. Going into theatre I had a anxious medical team on standby expecting me to go under General Anaesthetic as soon as our baby was born. Lachlan’s gender was a surprise & all I wanted was that special moment to find out if our baby was a boy or girl. Instead they were quiet when he was born & Dean disappeared with the baby while they worked on me. I knew silence meant something was WRONG. After waiting what felt like an eternity, Dean came back to tell me its a boy but he was struggling to breathe on his own & on cpap in the special care nursery. He showed me videos of our baby boy then rushed off to be with him. I didn’t get to meet Lachlan for a few hours & was completely gutted being separated for so long. Lachlan needed extra support in the special care for two weeks. Taking him home with Dean felt amazing & something I missed out on with Nathan. Our happiness soon ended with me back in emergency & admitted back into hospital with fevers & a dangerously high heart rate. Despite antibiotics & a millions of test & so much blood taken I kept getting worse. I had a team of nurses in my room wanting to hug me as they were so worried. It took 5 days & many courses of different triple dose antibiotics to get better. I believe my trauma from last time manifested as illness this time to teach me how to FEEL Everything. Bring it all to the surface to HEAL & be FREE from the heaviness of my past.
If I could tell my newly-widowed self one thing... as much as you want it to be and as vulnerable and open as your heart will be to love and be loved, your first love after loss is not going to be pick-up-where-you-left-off-easy-breezy-lemon-squeezy. It will & it wont. It will be the most wonderful, & it will be the most exhausting.
Try as you might.
You will hurt them, & keep hurting yourself, the longer you try to control and hold onto feeling and knowing what you had.
You will never feel or know what you felt and knew, again.
Loving someone else as a widow is challenging, the layers that require peeling... of yourself. Its tough. You miss things of your old life & love you never agreed to not have anymore.
It is tough for both bravehearts, now. But it is worth it. You aren’t entitled to the same love, that was then, but you are worthy... of a different one.
More, blogged, link in bio💛 .
“My life can be described in one sentence: It didn’t go as planned.
And it’s NOT ok!!!”
I sit here writing this as I look at Lachlan , 10 months who is now older than Madison was when Nathan passed away. It’s bittersweet for me. Lachlan is THE cutest age ever & bringing so much joy & laughter into our lives after so many years of deep pain in my life as a young widow. When I watch Dean & Madison play with Lachlan it touches my heart so much & I want to bottle up the moment & hold onto it so tight. I’ve waited years for these moments to happen. Daydreamed for hours about Nathan having these moments with Madison & watching the bond between them. It will forever break my heart that they never got that opportunity. I will grieve for those moments we missed out on forever. Even though Nathan got “9 months” with Madison, he was honestly too unwell to enjoy her apart from our 6 week trip around Aus. Yes I’m grateful they got to meet. But that in itself was bittersweet as he knew he had to leave her way too soon.
Nathan & I were married for just 8 months & 5 months pregnant when he was diagnosed with Metastatic Melanoma. At what should have been the happiest time of our lives soon became our living worst nightmare we couldn’t wake up from. Watching my young, fit 25 year old husband & best friend quickly deteriorate before my eyes while simultaneously having a new born is devastating & traumatising! Our entire future & the life we planned for was robbed from us by his diagnosis and death - we’d agreed on 3 kids - at least 2 before age 30, a lifetime of making memories together as a family, raising a family together, our future children & siblings we never got to give Madison, our grandchildren & great grand children, traveling around Australia working full time, our dream house we were designing to raise our family in. All of it & everything in between we lost. Nathan lost the best years of his life & entire future, Madison lost her dad/future siblings. I lost my best friend/husband & became a single mum all at once. This is something I’ll never get over no matter how far I’ve come since. It will stay with me forever. Ingrained in my soul. It’s now a part of MY story.
Life doesn't stop because of grief. This has been a difficult lesson for me. I wanted the world to stop and couldn't understand how life goes on when my world stopped.
I have learned to keep living. Guilt has tried to stop me but I've got amazing people in my tribe who remind me that guilt is a liar.
Living life means travel ans having new adventures without my husband. I can't hear his laugh at the silly things that happen or see his smile on how proud I am of my tan.
But I do know that he would want me to live life as best as i can and be true to myself....travel and have adventures. So thankful for my best friend Nicole who jumps at the chance to travel....so we are taking in the sun in Palm Springs!
What are you doing to live your life as best as you can at this very moment in your journey?
What can you set a goal for this week to accomplish, either with baby steps or huge brave bold gigantic steps.....up to you? 🙌🏻💪🏼🌪 Think big and bold. Don’t let your mind or the enemy keep you small. What do you have to lose? You cannot lose what you don’t have! Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen if you try. Then do it!! 💥 🙏🏻 So often we get caught up in our own head, we are our own worst enemy. 🧐
This keeps us from progressing or attaining the things that are heart desires. 💕💕
With intention 🤓 you can take control of your thoughts, 🙆🏻♀️ turn them into positives, and begin one step at a time working toward your ideal life. 🌸💜🌻💥
I, and many other widows, don’t need the admonishing reminders of how blessed we really are. I know I’m blessed. Really, I do. But some days I want to scream and cry like a two-year-old. You know, throw a good old-fashioned temper tantrum.
If you are sick and tired of the tired cliches surrounding how people think we "should" or "shouldn't" feel, head over to the blog to read: Why Widows Don't Need Help Finding the Silver Lining.
I love standing here in front of the door of Pather and Binga. After David past away, I love standing here and pray, feeling like David is there with me in beautiful mornings.
To tell I miss him,
I love him.
To tell him, I’m alive another day because of his love.
To tell him, I live strong and happy.
To tell him, watch over me and all of us,
To tell him, Thank you.
#nevergiveup#widowlife#widowhood#ptsdsurvivor#youcandoit#lifeisshort#smile and #behappy#iloveyou#lifeisbeautiful#imissyou
Wept through @ben.d.foote whole message today. I can remember clearly the first time I was worshipping (same @flatirons_west campus, same front left row) and could feel Josiah worshipping with me. “No, you have come to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to countless thousands of angels in a joyful gathering.”
Hebrews 12:22 NLT
God is eternal. He hears our worship yesterday, today, and tomorrow for things that have been, are now, and are still to come. We worship with all who have ever and ever will worship.
Highest Praises Lord of All... @bethelmusic
Today I am supposed to be walking down the aisle to the man of my dreams to profess my love to him on our wedding day and celebrate the first anniversary of our marriage. Instead I am laying at his feet at his resting place. I don't know what I did wrong to deserve this life. All I know is that there is no greater pain than losing you Brandon, my soulmate, the love of my life, my King.