I did my first stand up gig in months last night and I loved it.
I didn’t talk about Bryan (Brian?) May in the end because after the story of how I got trapped on a porn set with a midget who had the largest penis I’ve ever seen, who after I’d seen him jizz all over a woman’s arse tried to flog me a bottle of his own brand salad dressing (this is 100% a true story) the audience had quite a few questions - which led to the time I was asked to interview a man with a two inch cock for a woman’s magazine and his wife asked me if I wanted to touch it (I declined).
Stories of my arse problems always go down well too, but I didn’t have time to compare my bowel problems to Hitler’s one bollock.
I’m going to do more because nothing is better for the ego than to make people belly laugh so hard that they go red in the face and can’t breathe (I was worried one guy was having a heart attack but it was okay).