For many people, pain in their relationships causes them to go to war, to dominate, or to conquer their partner or the situation. Why is that? When your partner dismisses you, why do you want to take her head off? When he looks at another woman, why do you want to punish them both? When he or she treats you like a child, why do you want to rebel?
The answer may be found in that last question. Surely, the reason the pain of our relationships leads to war instead of surrender is that our romantic relationships are the number one place we work out our issues with our parents.
When we are born, our parents (or primary caretakers) are everything to us. Truly, we love them passionately. They are extensions of us. They answer all our needs, sometimes without our even asking. They are also the first to put boundaries on us. The first ones with whom we experience power struggles, with us usually on the losing end of those power struggles! Furthermore, parents are not perfect. Knowing which buttons to push in order to control us with the least amount of effort expended, they'll use rudeness, dismissals, and disappointment to keep us under their control.
There is the rub. In whatever way your romantic partner treats you rudely, puts you down, dismisses you, and shows disappointment in you, mom and dad did it first. They did it first and you couldn't fight back. Now you can. Not only can you dish it out as good as you get it, the impulse to stop the pain by any means necessary rises involuntarily, making dominating and conquering your partner seem absolutely necessary for survival.
What would surrender in the face of the pain found in romantic relationships look like, anyway? Becoming a doormat? Turning into a masochist? No. Surrender would look like taking stock and taking responsibility.
The first thing to do, if you haven’t already, is to take 100% responsibility for everything that shows up in your relationship. Your relationship, your partner, is a mirror of you.
Wherever there is pain, your mirror is showing you something in yourself that wants to heal.
There is a secret to relationship success that is direct, simple, and effective. It's called surrender!
Wise words from @yung_pueblo ❤🙏 Happy Sunday!
Patience without complacency - understanding and living in that subtle place between the two is big lesson in regards to self healing and cultivating the wisdom that supports personal liberation. Allowing the arising of a better version of ourselves requires acceptance of our present state, the aspiration to grow in more wholesome ways and the effort to see it through.
Problems and even stagnation occurs when we push ourselves too hard and feel deep craving toward achieving certain results. It can help to think of ourselves as a garden and the effort we put in as seeds that we plant in the soil. Different seeds require different times to bloom and even though we may want them to start growing faster all we can do is plant them and essentially focus on supporting the environment for their growth while we wait patiently as the seeds blossom, become firm and ultimately visible.
Sending much love to all beings. May we all be happy, peaceful, free and wise. May we heal and liberate ourselves deeply.
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"This is me showing you who I am when no else is around. Who I am underneath the loud laugh and the goofy stories. This is me willing to show all the parts I’ve been hiding.
This is me asking you to be my best friend. So I can tell you everything. So I can trust you with all my deepest secrets and share my life with you. I want you to be the person I call when I need to vent and the person I run to when I need to feel understood. I want you to be my best friend so I can have the privilege of being that person for you too. I want to be your person. I want to be loyal to you. I want you in my life forever. I want to make you feel safe.
This is me trying to introduce you to a different kind of love. The kind of love that accepts all the parts you hate about yourself. The kind of love that writes poetry out of your pain. The kind of love that sees your scars and still thinks you’re beautiful. The kind of love that you don’t have to question. The kind of love that will stick around when you’re used to people leaving.
This is me choosing you. This is me putting you first and giving you my undivided attention. This is me getting over all the old games and the meaningless flings and being real with you. This is me promising to answer all your questions and tell you the truth behind every lie. This is me wanting to love you without breaking a single piece of your heart.
This is me giving you a piece of my heart that I haven’t given to anyone else. This is me handing it to you hoping you’d accept it. This is me giving you a giant piece of my heart knowing that it’s only a matter of time before I happily give you my whole heart" ~ Rania Naim
☄️☄️☄️ Regrann from @lost_nowhere - Via @awakened_lotus 🦋
“Feel the magic of my trust. Feel the universe in my stardust. Feel my yoniverse lust for you. Feel my love for you. Feel my soul call to you. Feel the bliss of the amore I feel for you. Feel my heart space open only to you. Feel the love that lives here for you. Feel the connection we have. Don't let it scare you. Feel the truth of who we are and trust it. Feel me inside you and know I am your truth. Allow yourself to fall into the abyss of our love. Come free fall into my goddess magic. Let go darling. Allow it to happen. Allow the universe to bless our union. Let yourself rise with my soul. Let's merge. Let's cross over the verge. Let's flow with this magic. Let's bless earth with our love. Let's grow together. Let's flow together. Let's become whole and remember our mission together. Let's be honest and remember our forever. Come walk beside me in love and truth. Come fly in the astreal realms with me and lets shake our bodies loose. Let's love each other into the remembrance of what our love once was. Let's roam the universe like it's our play ground. Let's find what was once lost so it can be found. Let's explore my yoniverse with your youniverse and cross into other dimensions. My awakened girl magic calls to you it's like a magnet. Come taste my divine feminine essence and let it bless you. This goddess warrior requests the essence of her warrior god man so that we may become the divine plan. Come find me my beautiful divine masculine counterpart and know that I AM... I AM whole and I AM healed. I AM balanced and I AM freed. I AM truth and I AM love. I AM your divine blessing from above. I AM the one you have been seeking. I AM the one for which you are breathing. I'll hold space for you and I await your presence in the temple of my body and soul 💙.”
~ Beautiful Image Via @ehscapist 💎
@lost_nowhere #lostnowhere .
#divinefeminine#divinemasculine#warrior#goddesswarrior#sacredsexuality#sacredunion#awakened_lotus#soulLove#divineLove#trueLove#beautifuLove#realLove#deepLove - #regrann
How do I do it.. How do I stay positiv.. How do I always have the strengh to move on no matter what.. I often get that question.. I would say because Im crazy stubborn and too curious and I love life I love to live.. Life is a gift and its important to do the best of it.. My life and happiness is up to me.. The last 2,5 years so much have happend in my life.. Good and bad things.. So many losts.. A new job.. New experiences.. New friends.. A damaged back.. Divorce.. A new love.. A broken heart.. But Im greatful.. The tuff times have made me stronger and the Sweet times gives me the power to carry on.. A door closes and a window opens.. The fresh air from it lift me up just like the curiosity for What the next day will bring.. #thoughtful#life#brokenheart#heartbroken#love#soullove#healing#memories#greatful#myjourney#lovemylife #❤️