In school assembly this morning Professor #albusdumbledore announced the four new House Captains of #hogwarts and, as expected and to the delight of all the students, news of a brand new game to be played instead of #quidditch , following the death of the Slytherin Beater, Nigel Farage. The new game is called #brexit . The game is a tad complicated but, put simply, it is a game where one must #notdroptheball . Team members must run an obstacle course, holding on to the Brexit Ball - a big ball of horse shit. The course will get increasingly more difficult to traverse and complete the longer you are on it, with several booby traps hidden in the course to cause you to fail. People from other teams will try to put you off. People from your own team will absolutely try to put you off. You only have a limited period of time to finish the course and deliver the ball of horse shit. If you drop it, you need to hand it over to another team member. All your team members will then huddle together on the course and quickly elect who will pick up the ball of horse shit and continue on from where you dropped it. This can happen at any point until time runs out. If you do not finish the course, then you receive no points. Professor Dumbledore regrets that he has not quite finished working out how one wins the game of Brexit or what happens if you do actually finish the course, but he does know it is important for all students to play Brexit because 51.9% of them said they wanted to play something instead of Quidditch at assembly. And the majority must be heard. So, captaining #gryffindor and its values of uncertainty, funny walks and lack of leadership is Theresa May. The new Captain of #hufflepuff is Boris Johnson, championing piffle, waffle and absolute buffoonery. #ravenclaw will be led by young David Cameron, already a proven ambassador of making bad decisions, lying and giving up. And, finally, #slytherin will now be captained by The Undead. See you all on the Brexit pitch and let’s choose another person to deliver the horse shit Brexit ball. And another! Then another … #exitbrexit#torymess#fuckbrexit#laughingstockoftheworld#britishpolitics#youcouldntmakethisshitup
Another new Christmas decoration for the tree this year, this one was one I bought at @unistudios at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter! It’s quite heavy so I’ve had to balance it on a couple of other branches, but how cute is it!? 🦉🦉
I took a really comprehensive test over ten years ago back when 7dragons had their #sortinghatquiz up. You couldn’t trick that thing because it was asking because it asked you seemingly random things like, “I prefer to a) cook b) clean” or “I’d rather a) take my time on something or b) move on to the next thing.” I felt like this quiz was a bit easier to game but still not so straightforward. Anyway, I got the exact same results as all those years ago. #ravenclaw with #slytherin second and Hufflepuff third. The only difference is back then I was more of a snake and less of a badger. But yeah, I’m not impressed with Gryffindors in general sooo... no change there. 😂🤣 Quiz link: http://time.com/4809884/harry-potter-house-sorting-hat-quiz/
🇧🇷J.K. Rowling confirmou em um tweet ao @thiegonovais que Newt está vindo para o Brasil! 😍🇧🇷💛💚
Estou tão animada, estão preparados?
🇬🇧J.K. Rowling confirmed in a tweet to @thiegonovais that Newt is coming to my country, Brasil! 😍🇧🇷💛💚
I'm so excited, are you ready?
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