~Does Anyone Know How to Get Rid of a Pip? Asking for a Friend ...~
-The Dude: [Starts gagging] Oh God, get it off, GET IT OFF OF ME!! -Al: [Sleeping on his blue pillow, then waking on his blue pillow, then sleeping] Whut? -Dude: [Swiping maniacally at the monstrosity attached to him] THIS ... THIS GODFROZEN PIP! -Al: [Sobs himself to sleep] -Pip: [Rolls around as he eeps and trills] Is it ok if I tuck my paws under my chin like a bunny hopping off to collect clover to make his nest softer for the eggs he lays? -The Dude: Bunnies don’t lay eggs. -Pip: Yes they do. -The Dude: I’m pretty sure they don’t, they’re not birds. #butmaybe#theyreplatypii ? -Al: [Lifts head] Hnstly, I thought I saw something on the internet about bunnies laying eggs. Maybe not all do, but some. -The Dude: [Pondering. Al never lies to him.] Yeah, I guess I can see that. Like a colony of rogue, recidivist rabbits. #tooalliterative ?
But no, Pip, you can’t tuck your paws beneath your chin. -Pip: I love you guys. -Al: Anytime you want to leave .. -The Dude: Not trying to be a jerk, but nobody invited you, Pip. -Pip: That’s ok, I don’t need an invitation to wedge myself btwn your legs. [Al and the Dude proceed to scour, scrape, and sandblast Pip but he doesn’t budge.] -Pip: [Twirling about] Thanks for the massage! I couldn’t have better friends. [They soak Pip in turpentine. Apply paint thinner. Even spritz him with “Warlock’s Mist.” He remains nestled between the Dude’s legs.] -Pip: My fur has never looked sleeker! What a shine! It’s like I’m glowing! #itprobablyis#noaddedcharge -The Dude: [Arms lifted to the heavens] Why me God? WHY?!? I’ve done everything you’ve asked! I’ve amassed a museum worthy collection of gold chains. I’ve crafted perfect deltoid muscles. I’ve befriended Pitbull. Why am I, like a modern day Job, being afflicted with a sleepy Pip?👼😪 We don’t like to end our posts on a sad note but, as of this writing, Pip still sleeps between my legs. Please, tell us in the comments how to get rid of a Pip ... 👍🏻 #cats#catsofinstagram#catsagram#catlife#sweet#cute#pets#petsagram#kitty#meow#gatti#gato#chat#katze#nyc#fluffy#sleepycat