It is one year today without my mom. I am not immune to the hardships that we all must face. Pain of this magnitude is the great price we pay for love.
I often confess that sometimes I’m not always sure I could ever do the things I ask my brave clients to do. I’d like to think I could with someone like myself walking alongside me, guiding me and just holding my hand. Having said that, I will let you know how I have handled this season of grief myself. Really, the only answer I have is that I’ve tried to do it with authenticity.
I have allowed myself time off to grieve. I have shot straight up in the middle of the night just to sob. I have sat quietly, not wanting to talk. I have been saddened deeply by all that could have been. I have remained in parking lots because a random song would come on and start me uncontrollably crying. I have walked through my home sweeping while listening to old albums on a record player hearing the voice of my mom as she used to sing while she cleaned in my childhood home. I have relied on my family, my friends and my church. I have asked for help when I needed it and I have asked for help to be held at bay when I needed the silence too. I have relied fully on the Lord to ease my pain and walk with me on this journey, twisting the agony into something beautiful. I suppose after all that, it turns out that yes, yes I perhaps would be able to do the things I ask of those I sit with. Apparently, I am brave too. Grieving, weak, hurting, grateful and brave. It’s ok to be all of those things! #grief#loss#sadness#counseling#struggle#missyoumom
We’re not in Utah anymore. This was a rather odd sight to me. Walked through the Greektown Casino last night, making our way to a restaurant downtown when I saw this and had to document it. I remember much more archaic versions of this growing up. Yes kids, there used to be cigarette vending machines. This just added to the tableau of sadness and broken dreams that I witnessed walking through a casino for the first time ever in my 44 years. #sadness#smokeemifyougotem#greektowncasino#brokendreams#lifechoices
She looked unhappy. Her face tells a thousand stories.
Everyone says Vietnamese people are photogenic. Maybe because each of them has lots of things to say, but they just can't say them out loud? .
Photo: Ivan Carrillo Dutor @barakafotografia.
taken in Sa Pa. Vietnam.
We are fine, despite all the dirty attacks we have experienced over the last few months. .
If someone thinks they can do anything to exercise their dictatorship and control over people, they are completely WRONG! They really don't know how pitiful they are.
Our data is saved and our magazine can be back any time soon! .
We are just thinking about finding a solution, a place that are free of spy and Big Brother who always want to control people's mind.
SPY IS WORSE THAN PEST.
Does such a place exist in this world? If not, human beings are really hopeless!