Two years today. Pic on right was a few months later at Christmas. I was a mess inside, but glad that my Mom was alive.
An excerpt from a write-up on my blog: ...My world was rocked when my Mother had a near fatal heart attack on August 15th, 2016. For the past few years, I had been able to suppress or ignore most of the gender dysphoria that gnawed at me simply by keeping myself busy and distracted. This brought me back down to Earth with the realization that my life could be over in an instant without ever having lived. I will never forget the 10 days that my mother lay in a coma in the ICU, being unsure if she would ever wake up. I spent hours watching over her alone, taking shifts with my Dad, Grandmother, and Brother to make sure that she had a family member nearby.
It was in these moments, a 210lb, broad shouldered, muscular person with arms popping out of their sleeves and a close shaved, almost officer-like haircut -that no one would mistake for the son- was standing guard over this tiny 105lb, lifeless woman appearing as if to be her rock-solid protector- and began crying on the inside with a voice repeating “I’m here, Mom- your Daughter is here. Please wake up”. #transgender#transition#family#turningpoint#mother#thankful#heartattack#remembering#anniversary#nowherdaughterreallyishere
In a town near us, there is an antique store that is in an old ball room. This has become one of our favorite places to visit, and not just for the shopping. My husband and I swing dance, and sometimes we secretly clear a little spot and enjoy a moment reliving what those couples experienced so many years ago.
Life’s a dance, and I’ve got the perfect partner.
THIS TIME THREE YEARS AGO // To most, this is a mere dinner party. To those at this table, this is SACRED. In all of New York City, of all ten years I was there, I felt most at home at this table. It produced better meals than any Michelin star restaurant in all five boroughs! And it was a safe place for me to let my guard down and be seen. To say that I miss it would be a gross understatement. If you have yet to find such a place, one piece of advice: make the sacrifice and create the space for safety and love to flourish. No one can make that for you, you have to cultivate it and it doesn’t come easy or right away. BUT it is worth more than Warren Buffett’s entire estate. I swear on the precious that it is!