Well...this was the pumpkin chia seed pudding I had made. It was so gross that I couldn't even eat it 🤢
I'm not sure what I did, but this couldn't even be eaten with whip cream on top! Which means, it was REALLY gag! I don't even think my adorable dog would have eaten it! Just kidding, she would eat ANYTHING 😉. So, I'll chalk this one up to a FAIL 😂 Hey, you win some and you lose some 😎
I don't like only posting my beautiful successes, so here you go! 🚫 Most of the things I make are pretty damn good, but not all of them 🤭 We ALL screw things up, even if we don't all post about it.
If you're afraid of cooking because you don't want to screw things up, DON'T WORRY! You WILL screw up, but you will also make tons of yummy healthy foods, too 😊 Anyone can cook!
Facebook memories can be a wonderful reminder sometimes of how far you have come.
This came up in my Facebook memories today and not something I have shared this part of my life here really But Two years ago I had a very small heart attack nothing major but the last two years has been a journey to say the least I have had one possibly two more heart attacks since one as recent as June I think this year and 3 small strokes thankfully no major damage from both but even tho I don't look after my health the best at times and 2 years on have a diagnosis that has me on meds that help allot it's a great reminder to just never give up and our mind set is everything and you can push through anything if you have the right mindset.
Dear Dead Husband, I’m not angry anymore.
As you know, anger has forever been my go-to emotion—even as a tiny little 4 year old I remember that emotion consuming my entire being and exploding like a deadly volcano.
To this day, I am guilt-ridden it took me so many YEARS to have any empathy for you and those demons you were secretly battling. I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t talk to me. . .or anyone for that matter.
Dear Dead Husband, I’m sorry you felt like this was your only way out.
Your 35th birthday was this past weekend and I’m sorry you weren’t here to celebrate it with your family.
Throughout the last 9 years I’ve had split second feelings of compassion and sorrow when I would think of you.
But those were quickly smothered and hidden away before anyone could tell something was wrong.
Dear Dead Husband, I’ve seen you. Aside from the months of nightmares, and the random lookalikes in public, I’ve seen you in exactly two dreams since I found you hanging there in our tiny bedroom closet. In both of those dreams you let me know everything was okay before disappearing into thin air.
But you see, it took all of two seconds of finding your body in that way, to singe that visual in my memory for the rest of my life.
I am trying to remember you in a brighter light, like all of your friends and family do. They have years and years of fun memories to look back on. So in a way, I am thankful that it was me that had to find you in that manner and not them.
I had just over one year with you but the memories will last me a lifetime. Six of those months we were a married couple. And I’m sure you would agree that we were “doomed” from the get go. I was 19 and you 25, and both of us incapable of making a healthy decision. Just 3 weeks after the wedding I suffered a miscarriage that would never be spoken of until the night you took your own life. It was a tumultuous road all the way up until the end. Our marriage was filled with abuse of all kinds, resentment, infidelity, and too many lies and secrets to keep up with...
*Continued in the comments*
"Rejection doesn't mean you aren't good enough; it means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer." I've been to hell and back since I was a teen. That's why I wrote The Enough Series. It was therapeutic for me in a way. To share what the ups and downs of growing up, having different circumstances come your way can be life altering; it can make you question your worth over and over. - I've been treated as an option.
- I've been lied to.
- I've been cheated on.
- I've been physically and emotionally abused by a loved one.
- I've been told I'm ugly.
- I've been told I'm fat.
- I've been told I'm a whore (by my mother when I was 14 and still a virgin)
- I've been told so many horrible things...and I believed them all.
It wasn't until I was almost twenty-four years old that I heard the words "I love you" for the first time in my entire life.
I am still emotionally scarred to this day when I get turned away for something, big or small. It makes me question my worth. Am I not good enough? It's hard to get over when you are treated and told these things for so many years (including in the book world). I have to shake those evil thoughts from my head and put on repeat "I matter. I am enough." I tell my daughter daily how much I love her, how proud I am of her because I grew up never being told those words.
I tell my friends that I love them, that they matter and how much I care for them and send them inappropriate text messages to make them laugh when I know they need it most.
My friends ask me how often I take my own advice and I laugh because I rarely do. I know, stupid but I'm a stubborn Polish girl. We are all works in progress.
If you want to read about my journey here are the links.
If not, just remember, YOU MATTER.
E-books are only $0.99 unless you are on Kindle Unlimited.
Good Enough: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DOGPK4W
Never Enough: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N4G4XBE
Is Love Enough: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075CTJ3YS
This man.... This amazing husband, friend, lover and father is the most important thing in my life !!! I don't care if this is too personal or unsuitable content ♥. All the likes and follows in the land of instagram would not change how happy I have been on this journey in photography with my one true love my husband @bacon6051 I love you and the work we have done together has been immeasurable Thank you to everyone who supports us and those who will still continue tooo #reallifeshit ♥ ♥ 🙏
Yesterday at work, I had an older male express to me that if I were his waitress at a restaurant, he would then ask the manager for someone a little more ‘plump’ to serve him.. and this was my exact face. Then he pulled the ever-so-classic “eat a cheeseburger or two” joke on his way out of the store... again, my face. People can be so damn rude and unappreciative of others, BUT — don’t let it break you. Self love is the best love you could ever give yourself, especially in a moment like that.. and if you ever find yourself in that situation, in regards to being big or small, just tell them if they don’t learn keep their opinions to themselves, you’ll eat them and the cheeseburgers too. 😘