My ego has been showing up in some big ways lately.
Telling me how I can’t make stronger and deeper connections.
It’s been picking fights with my husband.
Nit picking on the littlest of things.
My ego has been screaming her shadow
that I don’t quiet her down.
That I let her continue to run the show.
Call the shots.
Hold on to the smallness.
Hold onto the “usual”
because even though I’m frustrated with the “usual”, it’s at least familiar.
But I then I get to remember in the midst of
questioning who am I to do this
I get to remember that
I am the fucking flame of it all.
I call the shots.
I give voice to what I want to be heard.
I get to forgive myself for
the fall downs
and lessons learned.
I get to choose to call in the love.
Instead of shooing my ego away with shame and frustration
I get to choose to love her
listen to her
see what she has for me today.
And then use that knowledge to
Even in the darkest of moments choreographed by my ego.