Forgot all about my appointment with my mental health social worker this morning 🤦♀️
As soon as I heard the knock on the door I thought fuk!
No time to even attempt to tidy up or look presentable lol Nappies on the ground, kids still in their pyjama's with snooty noses. All I could do was quickly take off my dressing gown and open the door
#mumlife at its best 🤗
Broken people, have a tendency to "break" things. By "things" I mean friendships, relationships, and yes, actual things. PTSD comes in many forms. Some break internally, by continuing to break their own heart (because they know of nothing else). After experiencing trauma, the brain has such a repetitious and vicious cycle, often repeating daunting memories we no longer wish to have, but long to be rid of. There are actual neuropsychological injuries that take place which is invisible to the human eye. People who do not have this condition cannot see it. They cannot comprehend it. It IS disabling at times, moreso for others, because we are all "wired" differently. Our BRAIN is connected to our BODY. It controls our BODY. If your thoughts are scrambled up like some eggs, how do you think your body is going to react? The real/more important question. Do I think we can overcome it? Absolutely. Start by loving Christ. Then find a community or a source(s), where others will love you as He does. Don't let the devil stop you from finding a place. He wants to keep you in isolation. Without others helping us, how would we grow? If you think you're not lovable because of the things you have done, and may still be continuing to do, as a result of PTSD, you are not that powerful my friend. You cannot push away His love or hide from it. We should ALL love with Christ-like love. Is this easy? No. But it is, without a doubt, achievable. #ptsdrecovery#ptsdawareness#loveothersasHehaslovedyou#neuronerd 🤓
Make yourself laugh! Set yourself free! If you aren’t laughing I don’t think you are living life to its fullest potential. Have you ever been sad, and then for some reason something made you laugh? I bet during those 3 seconds of laughter you forgot about the problem and then you probably felt good afterwards! 😂
This is the reason behind our Instagram story today, I wanted to make myself laugh, so I found a way to do it.😂
Hey guys, I want to talk about my delusions for a little bit because they’ve been acting up a lot lately. Delusions are not something I’ve ever dealt with until my trauma, which was abuse. So, my delusions are a direct result of my trauma, and are a symptom of my PTSD. Most of my delusions are persecutory, meaning I believe that someone wants to harm me in some way. Some of those delusions include someone wanting to shoot me with a gun, someone wanting to rape me, someone wanting to kidnap me, and someone being mad at me and not wanting to tell me. The only delusion I have that isn’t persecutory is one where I believe the universe is not real and part of a simulation. A lot of people believe that if someone knows that their delusions are delusions that they’re faking, but that’s simply not true. I can logically separate my delusions from reality, but it’s near impossible to fully convince myself that my delusions cannot happen. There is always a part of me that genuinely believes my delusions, and knowing they’re delusions doesn’t change that. Thank you for reading. If you have any questions or want to share your own delusions, please feel free to do so in the comments!
[ID: A selfie of Gray. They are looking into the camera and not smiling. A Snapchat filter is on the picture that gives them a few pink and purple flowers in their hair. The filter also makes their eyes gray and gives them some pink lip gloss. End of description.]
Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful to, and this week I truly believe I was able to put an end to a lot of hurt inside me.
Holding grudges, being angry with people and their actions, old experiences.... they seriously have been holding me back, but why?
I didn’t know it, but my biggest fear was going back to being the shy, timid, quiet, insecure, introverted girl I used to be. I have been terrified of that for years, but I now know that isn’t me anymore and I am no longer afraid of growth!
So watch out people! My team and I are about to blow your fucken minds! ✌🏼🙌🏼.
I’m done playing small.
In the past year, I lost 375 pounds. 125 pounds of me and 250 pounds of an abusive ex-husband, I lost 14 clothing sizes, I lost my mind, I lost the ability to protect my children, I lost my self worth, my home and about a foot of hair. But, I’ve also gained. I gained a new husband who sees through all of the pain and nonsense to the core of who I am, who loves me for all that I am and all that I am not. I gained an actively involved and loving dad for my 5 children in addition to two more sweet, beautiful daughters and an extended family. I’ve gained freedom, independence, new friends and old, strong bonds within my community, I’ve learned to ask for help, I’ve learned to trust my guts and, shockingly, other people. I’ve learned I need to take care of me, I gained a new home, stronger, healthier relationships with my children, a new normal, but most importantly, I gained self-respect, confidence and a voice. The next few weeks will be transformative and are dedicated to filing my final motion with the court. I was victimized by a single person for over a decade. I won’t let it happen ever again. Karma is coming for you and her name is Amanda. 🦋 #herbluewings#freedom#nsv#domesticabuse#domesticviolence#domesticabuse#survivor#truestory#narcissist#narcissistic#narcissisticabuse#ptsd#ptsdawareness#ptsdrecovery#ptsdsurvivor#psychologicalabuse#verbalabuse#verbalabuseisstillabuse#physicalabuse
Hit a PR at the gym today and I felt good afterwards.🕺🏽
Goal setting can be tricky. First you must evaluate where you are currently standing, then set realistic goals based of your situation. Goal setting has been a crucial tool I have been using to overcome my mental disorders. 🤙🏽
Focus on you in this moment right now
Breath in for 5
Breath out for 5
Repeat 5 times 💖
How do you feel?
Chilled? Calm? Relaxed?
Yay!!! you just focused on you in the middle of scrolling the gram... who does that? You xxx💖💖💖
Lately I've been feeling pretty good about my self..appearance wise. But I've been in pain as well, (I have severe TMJD, due to the fact that I used to constantly be clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth, from my #PTSD , I also had a trauma happen to my face back in 2014 that made things worse) anyways.. My jaw pain is linked to trauma and there for.. lately a lot of past life events that I was able to ignore for a while, keep creeping up in my subconscious.. I remember hearing PTSD would be a life long thing that I would eventually just be able to "manage most of the time."
Hearing that, to me at the time meant I was doomed for eternity. I thought I would never live a day without ANXIETY and fear.. and I didn't, for a few years, but that's partially because I let it consume me.
In January I left Seattle, where all of the anxiety, fear and PTSD started/ traumas happened. Things went "great" for a while, meaning no anxiety or panic attacks. But I realize now that, yeah we might have control over how we react to things, and most of the time we probably can talk our selves out of the anxiety and panic attacks. Or pretend it doesn't exist..( all the medication I used to be on (9 different ones doctor's in Seattle used to shut me up) was more harm than help. Because it was just a band aid on the issues. There is also harm in ignoring all feelings and emotions regarding your PTSD/ mental health, because eventually your subconscious lives it for you and you react without knowing. (The traumas still happened, and it's all very real). Wither it's sleeping in late.. cutting back more on daily activities to the point where you aren't really doing much of anything. To avoiding certain roads because of anxiety and the fear of a panic attack.. We need to remember that #selfcare isn't just bubble baths, and getting our nails done. But also doing things for our mental health too.
And feeling feelings, emotions and triggers is normal and ok.. We just have to work through it, and not bury it, band-aid it or ignore their existence. Because eventually It'll catch up to you. & It doesn't make us any less strong when we need to take time for our mental health, listen to your soul..
The percentage of veterans deployed from Iraq and Afghanistan struggling with mental health issues. -
Wear your Brass & Unity pieces as a symbol of support and strength for those in need.
A portion of proceeds from every piece sold is donated to help veterans around the world suffering from PTSD 🌎 #BRASSANDUNITY BRASSANDUNITY.COM
As part of North Texas Giving Day, ART was invited to the WFAA Good morning show at Victory Plaza in Downtown Dallas. We decided that Spice was the perfect ambassador for this occasion, but we were anxious. How would our little rescue boy do? He had never been off the Farm. Never been in a trailer. Never been away from his mother, Pumpkin, and little sister, Latte. In true rescue style, Spice did everything we asked of him with complete trust- looking to us for courage, calm, and direction. He trailered like a pro, and in the midst of a world of concrete, flashing screens the size of buildings, cars, screaming people and waving signs, not to mention terrifying blasts of music from huge speakers, Spice kept his cool and charmed the crowd. He leaned into us for comfort and support. #rescuehorse#arabianrescuetherapy#horsesight#mentalhealthawareness#mentalhealth#ptsd#ptsdawareness#pony#minihorse
Every day in the USA approximately 22 veterans take their own life, there are no recorded numbers for police, fire and other emergency workers. PTSD kills families, friends, brothers, sisters. We need to help them
If anyone is counting. I am over 700 days
Follow these people for more information
My friend Andie @silver_training got me back in this, you should follow her and see her awesome workouts
To my anchors that keep me both sane and grounded @madbigyo @autumn2.zero @athletic_lady0528 @lamelby @_daverichmond
I have the ability to choose my own response. This is something that I chose not to believe for so long, but with reflection, some harsh words and gigantic stumbles, I come to realize that I am responsible for how I react to the situation. I may not be able to control the situation, but I can control my emotional response and actions to it.
I used to be very proactive: meaning I didn't blame circumstances, conditions or conditioning of my behavior for my actions. Somewhere along the way, I got lost. I do understand that my behavior is a product of my conscious choice, based on my core values.
For so long I have been reactive, just like my training taught me to by while in Iraq. This is no way to live life because we are naturally proactive. I have made a mess of things but I am starting to recover bits of the old me and rebuilding a new me step by step, day by day. It took me time to get here, it will take time for me to create new habits to replace the old ones.
What drives you?
In my company when you become Emerald you get to name your team.
As you know with my obsession with Wonder Woman I came up with team Warrior.
When I found this shirt I was so freaking excited!!! 😁😁😁 I have a tattoo with Warr;or on my arm. This team name means quite a bit to me. It’s more than moving up in my company but shows my determination to get back up & start again when I’ve fallen off the workout wagon.
It means that I don’t have to be perfect in each workout but strive to do my best.
Every customer of mine is part of Team Warrior. We are all warriors doing battle with our food issues & body issues so what better name than Warrior?! #teamwarrior#pushyourself#gettingstrongereveryday#progressnotperfection#workoutfromhome#coachlife ✨
There are so many pressures online and in life, sometimes we get so wrapped up in what others want us to be or what we think we need to be and get wrapped up in the likes and the follows and worrying will people like this, but the most important thing to remember is to be just be yourself, be authentic, and the right people will be there for you! Remember why you started doing what you love, why did you start art, music, modeling, photography, writing. You get back to those thoughts and those roots and everything will fall into place. ❤️👑🙌🏻
We have received hundreds of videos from Jason as he struggled with PTSD. This sincere video was sent only a few weeks before his passing. It is an important part to telling his story. Jason was constantly in and out of treatments to get help. When one can fully understand Jason and his heart you will realize how powerful his message is. He is not just a crazy guy or trying to be funny all the time. Through Jason’s experiences around the world ✈️🏔he learned things in ways we will never fully understand.
In many ways I learned to see Jason’s illness as a gift to all of us. And through this gift he is able to teach us what is really important in life. Jason taught me how to love unconditionally, he taught me to find peace in nature and to live a life true to my beliefs. Lastly he taught me to trust my intuition and take the time to actually act on those positive thoughts that tell me to do things for others.
This instagram will continue... Tom and I (Shiloh) will continues to post and caption many archived videos🎥 from jason as we focus on the message he was meant to share.
Rest In Peace Jason Youngblood. ❤️🙏🏻Jan 10, 1982 - August 7, 2018 #ptsdawareness#Jemaisun#unconditionallove#intuition#speakyourtruth#peaceinnature
☝️☝️☝️👆 Thanks to James Mcavoyfor shooting the video!! (Not the super famous James Mcavoy disclaimer for my friends on Twitter)
Love all y’all ❤️ Whatever you are passionate about, defines you!! So be passionate about the Right things!
30 pushups tonight
If you’re counting
Love you all and thanks for all the support ❤️❤️ 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 FYI I keep talking about Zeal on these posts, cause it’s helping a lot of folks with PTSD issues
For all supporting this cause#22toomany
Raising awareness to the horrible fact that 22 warriors lose the battle with ptsd on a daily basis! This is unacceptable to me, I’ve heard that the number is going down which is awesome!!!
That’s why I’ve upped my push-ups to at least 30 every night
Love to all ❤️❤️
If you need to talk to someone please feel free to message me
Last night I totally stepped out of my comfort zone
I went along to an event full of aspirational women 🌟🌟🌟
Never in my past did I think I was an aspirational woman and never would I have gone to an event where I would chat in a group with other women. Talking with more then one person would make me stutter and jumble my words up! Stuff that!!!
Heck I have no qualifications and I'm unemployed. Im recovering from a mental breakdown where I have been diagnosed with arthritis, gad and ptsd. Very aspirational right? Lol
Well there is way more to me then that, I now have a purpose, I have a huge desire to achieve my goals. I know exactly where my life is heading 💖
Being around other aspirational women empowered me... it was a powerhouse there!!!
I left so excited to just keep doing what I'm doing 💕
"Keep doing you and amazing things will happen" xxx
Worth a watch and a share. Thanks to @militarymusclefoundation for putting this together. Something’s got to give, and we’re excited to be among many organizations working to help stop this epidemic.
#Repost @militarymusclefoundation with @get_repost
Repost from @beardedbear911- thank you for making this!!!
🔊🔊 I need everyone to repost this video that I made. You just might save a life. Numbers don’t lie. 20 Veterans commit suicide each day. Males are 18X more likely to commit suicide than male civilians. Females are 250X more likely than female civilians. How do we fight this??? By spreading awareness to veteran suicide and PTSD. You are #NEVERALONE Follow and donate to @militarymusclefoundation and take the @20repschallenge 🙏🎗 20 Reps, Any Exercise, Any Weight 💪 Record it. Post it, and TAG 5+ friends/followers to take the challenge!!! TAG @20repschallenge for a #repost Let’s keep fighting until the number 20 reaches ZERO 🎗 Thank you and God Bless You 🙏🙏 🚨You are never alone. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out:
🚨Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 Option 1🚨
Want to get involved?
Check out @militarymusclefoundation for more information.
The first album I bought when we moved to England was an Aretha Greatest Hits joint - I was 11 and already knew the words to all the songs as if I had endured complicated romantic relationships and suffered deep heartbreak ❤️ Of course as the years passed - the words would ultimately relate 💯 to so many of the choices I made around men 🙄 Her songs are soul stirring and even though I’ve heard them thousands of times - they ALWAYS invite me to look at where I need to shift my perception, be vulnerable, honor myself, cry and cleanse my Heart ♥️ Thank you @arethasings
Tonight’s class playlist - Aretha inspired 🎼 🦄
♥️💀Face The Enemy 💀♥️
Never RUN from your problems or hide.
Face that shit head on 🔥
Cause guess what loves you’re stronger than that REMEMBER that always. 🤙🏼
Got my new bracelet from @skullsforhope to remind myself what the fxck I’ve been through and to never surrender 👊🏼 with my updated story! I can’t say how much I appreciate this simple gift! It’s the little things in life I feel that we should truly appreciate!
I love you all so much ♥️🔥 Thank you for being apart of my beautiful and SAVAGE JOURNEY! 🔥
Yesterday I was on the 3AW talking to Neil Mitchell about what the public could do about in appreciation for our #vicpol members working the front line.
This was due to the 20th Anniversary of the Silk/Miller murders being held at St. Kilda Police station.
Neil received many calls where the public were wanting to come to our police stations and deliver cakes etc or just come up to us in the street and say thank you.
I mentioned to Neil that maybe a copper donut day where the public purchase a blue donut to help support our members.I have always tried to use a little bit of humour with a donut to help spread awareness for PTSD and mental health issues.
Hopefully this day is not far away but in the mean time. I was messaged during the week. "Hi, I’m a police dispatcher at ESTA Ballarat. I’m selling these cookies to try and raise some money for Fighting PTSD in VicPol.They have been pretty popular, especially with the sergeants at D24 "
If anyone is interested in purchasing some please email firstname.lastname@example.org and help support the campaign
To date the #fightingptsdvicpol campaign has raised a total of $33,233.51
All donations are tax deductible.
Your participation will assist the Victoria Police Blue Ribbon Foundation to continue its valuable work with proceeds will support there WHY (We Hear You) program for mental health services and initiatives for those who are or have served.
To donate to the campaign please visit www.protectingtheprotectors.com
Due to the perfect storm of f@%kery I lost over seven months of this year. Gone. A fog. Broken. Initially the ability to move, speak and function vanished.
Is every day now rainbow shitting unicorns? No. .
The difference? Not every day is brutal internal f#&kery. Some days are absolute shite, some nightmares are so graffic it's difficult to divide reality from REM. However, more recently there are more welcome days than woeful and that's a good thing! Previously I didn't share any of this openly but I've discovered in writing openly I'm kinder to myself.
So today I don't want to play and #itsoknottobeok Today I'm not ok but because of my amazing support crew and the reinforcement of medical support there's the possibility of tomorrow.