I make biodegradable baskets and poor decisions.
"Where did your pictures go?"
Well, I just barely have an answer as to why I can't hold my shit down online, why I can't permanently stay without hyperventilating every night around 4am. I'm caught between wanting to be open and honest, and then beating myself up later over the fact that my personal info is randomly available to the public for free. That is the weirdest shit to me, still. I am sick of only posting certain things when my brain is on fire to talk about feeling hollowed and seeking some sort of shelter in talking to likeminded people. Then 4am rolls around and I think "AM I JUST A FREAKSHOW TO PEOPLE WHO MET ME IN HIGH SCHOOL?" In the three years I've exercised caution in how emotional I'll allow myself to get online, I've stopped being able to become close to people and I've stopped feeling like my emotions I don't show are even valid. Having multiple people tell me I'm sUpEr PoSiTiVe just means they either don't know me or didn't listen to a single violence that fell from my mouth. I'm human, even when I was more of a monsterous, verminous insect, I was human under the exoskeleton.
Here is my first ever basket and a piece of my truth. •