I see a sea. | 10.22.18
Acrylic on canvas.
12 x 12.
This vision appeared to me 09.22.18 during Joint Worship Team Retreat.
This is what I wrote in my notes (revised):
*You live at the bottom of the sea- that is all you’ve known your whole life.
*One day, you see a light and decide to swim for it. *You swim and it’s work. *As it gets harder you think of the rock on the sea floor where you used to dwell, yet you are still interested in this light.
*You reach the surface and you realize that the light isn’t a single containable object but it’s all around beaming from the sun.
*You struggle to get on a raft and the difficulty makes you think of the sea floor. *You get on the raft… now what? The sea floor is only a sink away.
*But nightfalls and you see the stars. It maps you to your next location.
In life, there are moments where we may look back to that sea floor. But what you may forget is that you weren’t really “living”, you had been breathing with miles of water pressure above you. Sure, you may miss your sea rock and sea plant and coral reef… but there are rocks, grass, and flowers to see. Yes. It’s harder. The more further you go off on your journey - the more FAITH you need & God provides. God provided. He gave you that sea rock and plant, and he gave you that light. that raft. the air. the sun. the stars. and there will be more. “
I keep coming back to that vision and I really feel like this is where I’m at with my spiritual walk, on a raft knowing that the light was something greater than expected. Sinking seems like a tempting option, go back to not moving and not working up a sweat but the beauty of everything else calls out to me and another day, I try and live for the glory of God.
“Jesus My Captain
My soul's trusted Lord
All my allegiance is rightfully Yours”
- Captain, Hillsong United
it’s been hidden well but I’ve really struggled this week with my mental health and last night was breaking point. I wanted to quit everything (my job, studies, faith, etc), forget God and give up. Last night I couldn’t sleep, cried out to God, heard nothing and my mind was like a dark firework display... BUT today has been different! Affirmation all over the place! Peace in my mind! My chest no longer tight! The weight on me gone! Nothing in my situations have changed but I’m no longer anxious. I want to carry on because the thoughts I’ve been thinking are lies! God has shown up in an incredible way this afternoon! #prayerpainting#mentalhealth#godisgood#hope