No one EVER has the right to invade your peace or undo what you have worked so hard to heal. The more you intimately acquaint yourself with your tenderness the less you can be sold agendas of others that do not serve your higher self. Above is an except from // malicious intent // full poem posted below. ▪️◾️▪️ By knowing myself
I find I learnt
the strength to rest
my every imperfection
at your feet.
the calm eye of my own storm
heart held in open palms
as you began
to loudly misgender
my every strength
as you ran circles around me
to pull me out of character
when you simply could not locate your own.
Doused in disbelief
I was dragged through muck and mire
your magic morphed
a scheming predator
seeking to gather and sharpen
every softness I’d confided
you destructively decided
to press each blade
I gave you
firm against my flesh.
cruel and calculated
you mapped out my mind
with malicious intent
to methodically slice open my stitches
one by one
ripping into where I’m tender
rubbing salt on old healed wounds.
Perhaps you misheard
the extent to which my feet had firmed
What you misconstrued as my fragility
was my story
I send lashings of lavender
to everywhere I’ve ever hurt
so not to be brought to my knees
as your prey.
Despite every concerted effort
to tear me down
to where you were
you could never
load your pistols
with my peace
nor could you turn
into a weapon of war.
when I made this contextual
drenched in kindness
through my every waking hour
served to strip you of your power
to ever use me
as a weapon
against myself. - Bel Tal
I Didn't Have A Good Father Growing Up.
Nothing Even Near.
I Had Apples.
Which Sounds Really Weird.
I Like Golden Delicious Apples.
Not Too Bitter, Not Too Sweet.
Just Right For Pie.
They Say That The Apple Doesn't Fall Too Far From The Tree.
If That Were The Case,
I Wouldn't Be Here Writing Poetry.
I Was Too Busy Fighting To Expressed Myself.
And Even Now, I'm A Little Too Quiet, Too Soft.
Because Like An Apple That Fell From A Tree,
I Took A Pretty Hard Beating On My Way Down
To Get The Freedom Of The Ground.
For The Tree I Had Been Grow From Was Sick, Twisted.
It Fed Off Of My Purity And Bruised My Beautiful Skin
Every Chance It Had.
I Saw My Family Receive The Same Pain.
I Thought All Families Were The Same.
I Thought All Trees Had Such Abusive Nature.
It Wasn't Until Later Where I Learned That
Families We're Loving,
Did I Realize Mine Was Not.
Somehow, That Hurt Me The Most.
The Reality That Apples Were Supposed To Be
Big, Beautiful Fruit.
Not Bruised And Small.
For 14 Years, I Would Cut My Own Stem And Beg To Be Free.
And No Matter How Hard I Yelped,
It Was Up To Me To Be Exactly Who I Had To Be.
I Had To Thrive, Survive.
Cry And Then Get Right Back Up.
And Despite Being Stuck On,
I Fought Until I Thought
There Was Nothing I Could Do And Then I Tried Again Because I Was Too Stubborn To Given Up.
Just Like That Tree.
Again, I Didn't Have A Good Dad,
But What I Had Was More Than I Could Ever Need In Life.
I Had Affection From A Mother Who Raised 4 Kids On Her Own.
I Had People Who Stayed And Hugged Me
When No One Was There.
I Had Patience To Wait And Continue To Fight.
I Had Life To Live And The Curiosity About What
Was Beyond This, This Pain.
I Had Eternity.
I Had All The Time I Needed To Be The One True Me That I Could Love.
And Most Of All, I Had Self.
So, When People Say That The Apple Doesn't Fall
Too Far From The Tree,
They're Kinda Wrong.
Because That Apple Is It's Own, Beautiful Self
Regardless Of What Tree It Came From.
It Can Become A Bigger, Better Tree And Grow
A Whole New Type Of Apple.
I Like Golden Delicious.
Not Too Bitter, Not Too Sweet.
Perfect For Making Some Pie.