Since the beginning of the year I have been deeply struggling with my artwork. In January my drawings had become so highly rendered I was in literal pain and burning myself out fast. I have always felt satisfaction in rendering detailed drawings, but it was fading as I grew so tired. By April I couldn't keep up and decided to stop my comic in order to indulge in some purely creative pieces. I assumed creative freedom was what I needed but still, drawing exhausted me and I had no love for what I was working on.
I have been pushing myself to create pieces since June. I tried completely new things, working digitally and playing with colour, all in an attempt to push myself out of my crisis.
In the last few weeks put many things together, and finally got the message had been resisting for years.
I have been aware of my neglect of developing a more personal style because I have always worked with heavily references. I barley have a sketch book practice because of this and honestly, over the years have avoided free drawing or doodling of any kind because I felt my natural drawings were not good enough.
Up until this year my obsession has been with developing my technical skill and being able to render perfectly, any image I wish to draw. I simultaneously felt that my art was missing something. I have never truly been satisfied with a piece and always feel that although they looked how I wanted them to, they had no soul.
I thought my love for fine details meant I could only be satisfied if I created refined pencil work using references, but I finally realized that suffocating my natural drawing style has been ruining me. I went through my journals and saw that when I draw with no references my style is very sketchy and rough. I knew I was attracted to this aesthetic in the works of others but would always erase it in my own when I got to the final image. I love the grain and texture of rougher drawings and my own my true line is much more free and expressive, not tight at all.
Now I can see my true drawings as beautiful and am finally ready to be more free and embrace my own personal style.🙏❤
🎃 fun story/cringe self thoughts: when I was 5, although my biological mother was banned from driving, she crashed the car with me in it. Both my jaw and nose broke but I was never taken to the hospital and never got the treatment I needed so had these bones grew broken.
Consequently, my face kinda looks different on each sides and makes me feel gross and not really that attractive. I hate my pictures take and I get super self conscious when I post full faced pictures.
Obviously worse things could happen and I can’t change anything so trying to just embrace the flaws and shit. And I’m told it’s not that bad/noticeable and it’s really in my head. And I also think it’s so dumb how much I care about my appearance and what people think of my appearance. I am a smart, funny, kind and overall good person which I should be focusing on 😊
Anyway, another full faced pictures with flaws included in attempt to push passed the pathetic fear. I will not over-analyse this and delete 🎃
La técnica del “siente, suelta y sonríe”, mencionada por el profesor Jorge romero del programa "Felicidad Financiera", se utiliza como una manera de enfrentar nuestras sombras, que como toda sombra, está donde hay luz y en nuestra vida hay más de luz que oscuridad. Hay que buscar esos espacios que permitan enfrentar y drenar esos sentimientos, esas energías inapropiadas que en algún momento nos pueden hacer pasar por un mal rato. Uno de ellos pueden ser los juegos, las fiestas, el decir las cosas con sinceridad, pero también hay que esforzarse en hallar los puntos en común con las demás personas.
Además nos habló sobre la imagen que nos creamos sobre nosotros mismos, lo que nos rodea y la gente en nuestro entorno. No es verdad que basta andar con gente exitosa para ser exitoso, afirma Romero. “Debemos rodearnos de gente que quiera hacer cosas, que sea activa”. Actuar más y pensar menos en aspectos a veces intrascendentes debe ser un objetivo de nuestro quehacer. 😌
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🤸🏻♀️sloppy feel good flow ~ I’ve been neglecting my self care practices; drilling/learning new things with my hoop, artwork, & my yoga practice all fall to the back burners...
I avoid these things and fill my time with running errands, cleaning, worry, procrastinating on the things that bring me joy and releases because of so many years never taking any time for myself —the amount of anxiety and guilt that comes along with taking time to relax just isn’t worth it... i can’t allow myself to sit still for very long or else the “lazy piece of shit” voices start to chime in.
I want this feeling to change. I’m self aware of how bad my depression has gotten, but can you blame me with how chaotic the last few years have been? Can you blame me with how much has happened with my physical being? I realize my thoughts are irrational, but sometimes without verbal encouragement I just don’t feel like I matter or that I can do this on my own. Last week, I realized that when my therapist asked how my health has been, I wanted to glaze past it because I’m simply not used to many people asking how I’m feeling 🤐
💫I feel supported with by lil IG tribe I’m forming, but I simply haven’t been putting in the time to my social media. I love the community on this platform! Slowly but surely I’ll bounce back stronger than before ~ gotta keep swimming one day at a time 🐠💦
Każdy ma jakiś cel w życiu. Wiecie z czym to sobie kojarzę? Z esencją szczęścia. /
Osiągnąłem coś zaplanowanego, jestem szczęśliwy, że podołałem całej drodze. Teraz mam siłę na jeszcze więcej. /
Zapamiętajcie sobie, cel = esencja szczęścia. Lecz samo "celowanie" nie wystarczy. Trzeba zacząć działać ku wykonaniu tego. Siedzenie w miejscu nie rozwiąże waszych problemów i nie zaprowadzi was na szczyt :)
The greatest investment that you could ever make in your life will always be the investment you make in your growth.
Could be spiritual growth, personal or professional growth.
You can choose one or you can choose them all.
The best way of spending your money, because you know that will gone create so much more for the future.
Do you agree?
“There is no way to happiness —happiness is the way.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
People believe they must:
•First have something (money💰 time⏳or love❤️) •Before they can do what they want to do (travel the world🌍 write a book📖 start a business🏗or have a romantic relationship💘).
•Which will ultimately allow them to be something (happy🙂peaceful💆♂️content🧠motivated💪or in love💑)
Paradoxically, this have — do — be paradigm must actually be reversed🔄 to experience happiness, success, or anything else you desire:
•First you BE whatever it is you want to be (happy, compassionate, peaceful, wise, or loving).
•Then you DO things from this space of being.
•Almost immediately, what you are doing will bring about the things you want to HAVE.
🔊You attract what you are. If you want the things happy people have, you must be happy to get those things. If you want things wealthy people have, you must be and live wealthy to have those things.
⚠️Results translate from attitudes and behaviours and not the other way around.
📝Are you #committed to be the #best version of yourself? ✏️What #actions do you take towards #personal#growth ? Share your #thoughts 💭 in comments ⤵️