Don't ask me to explain when you can not understand.
You can't understand my deppression when you're always so happy
You can't understand my loneliness when you're always surrounded by lovings
You can't understand my eating disorder when you have that perfect body
You can't understand my selfharm when you love too much yourself to hurt
You don't live my life you don't deal with the stuff I have to deal with , you dont have my parents, You don't have my demons
So stop judging me and telling me that I have no reasons to be depressed
Because I don't see anything else but reasons to be like this
I know I'm too young do that, I know I should push back negativity and sadness, I know I should stop worrying and live the moment, I know that I should accept myself how I am and love it because we all have flaws
But I'm just like this , I tried and I couldn't change this no matter how hard I try
Because despite all my efforts to be happy, I still waking up every morning wishing to be dead...
(Sorry for my terrible english)
Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?
// Anxiety // I asked you guys in my story what you'd like to see more of on my page and the highest vote was for how I manage anxiety. I haven't posted about anxiety for a long time because it doesn't effect me anywhere near as much as it used to.
When I'm anxious now, its usually about what I call a 'real problem.' So something that I perceive as a real threat.
What I see and what I've experienced with anxiety is that we feel anxious about things that have very little chance of manifesting. That's not to say our feelings aren't real and valid, but that our anxiety response is higher than it should be within a situation. .
When my anxiety was at it worst, it was incredibly debilitating and it felt like I was never going to get better.
I can look back now and see that there were so many different factors making me feel anxious.
I was on edge all the time, every minute of the day. I was never relaxed. I was moody, panicked, couldn't deal with 'normal' life stuff and in a constant state of overwhelm.
I look back and I don't know how I did all the normal functions of every day life.
I can see now that my anxiety was caused by things like how sensitive I am, how I was conditioned growing up, genetics, thought patterns and beliefs, having no purpose or direction, the food I was eating and being consumed by overwhelm.
There are lots of things I did to overcome it and lots that I still do now to manage. Leave me a comment if you want to hear about that and I'll write some more posts.
The one thing I want to leave you with is this. Anxiety is a symptom of something deeper and that is your soul calling out to you that something's not right. It's not your identity. It's your choice - either you unpack and stay in anxiety or you become a warrior and fight it. And I know you have the strength to be a warrior ❤ .
Please leave me a comment if you have questions or want to know more! I'm happy to answer 😘