Narcissists: “if I can’t be happy, no else can be happy.”
If they can't be happy, no one can... and they will never be happy because no amount of love in the world can bring light or fulfillment to a vessel that dark and empty. They are incapable of both giving & receiving real genuine love. And suddenly you realize… there’s NOTHING that I can do to satisfy these people.. There’s NOTHING that I can do to make these people give me love or affection.
You have to make a commitment to yourself to say: You know what? I’m gonna come back to my own energies and just be real with myself and when you will do that you will find that you’ll start attracting other people who do the same thing, because how we treat ourselves is how we treat the world… Narcissists are treating everyone around them like they‘re just sucking them dry because they’re so empty on the inside…
Any time you find yourself having to teach someone, you're already doing too much… If you’re having to teach a grown adult common sense behavior, you're dealing with a narcissist!
Don’t make the mistake of over explaining. When it comes to manipulative people and especially #narcissists saying less is more! The less you say the better, because they don’t really listen… Trust me, they don’t listen… They pause. It’s like they have zero ability to see your point of view… so the more you’re explaining, the more frustrated you are, the more you feel you’re banging your head against the wall… so don’t do it!
When you over explain to the narcissist lover or friend or parent it’s almost like you’re trying to convince them that you have A RIGHT to have boundaries and you don't need their permission…
Narcissists are static people. They don't grow. They don't learn. Narcissists don't want to take the opportunity of learning something that would force them to face who they really are.. force them to acknowledge what they've been doing to people. They have to keep everything the same in order to keep the mask in place.
Jerks have the capacity for change. When you challenge an asshole, a lot of them sometimes will have an epiphany & they actually feel bad for what they did. It will take time for them to change but you will see them trying to change! You will see their efforts!
Narcissists simply refuse to change! The problem has never been that narcissists can’t change. The problem is that the narcissist is generally unwilling to change! Changing a behavior means that the narcissist must ADMIT this behavior was WRONG and they are unwilling or even unable to do that.
Suffering is their fuel. It feeds them. They don't know how to operate in a healthy environment so they avoid creating healthy environments at all costs.
The narcissist is a person who no matter how much you give to them you cannot fulfill them. Ever! Stop trying, it’s pointless! You can give them all the love-affection in the world and they will still just come back for more & more and then they will destroy you. The more you love him/her the more he/she hates you! And YES the narcissist really hates you. They hate everybody, including themselves. They hate themselves the most! They know you are better than them... You have something they can never have: A SOUL... And they hate you for proving that to them every day simply by existing. The very fact that you exist is a threat to the narcissist because it reminds the narcissist that they’re not perfect. And that’s the twist here: All of the narcissist hate for you is really hate for themselves. So not only they are incapable to feel genuine positive feelings for other people like love or respect but they don’t even feel genuine negative feelings for other people like hatred! It’s really ALL about THEM! Even the hate! 🙂 #sick#npd#narcissists#narcissistawareness#narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
NO EMPATHY= No REAL emotion.
Mimicry yes, they can to that extremely well. While they do not experience the emotions they learn to mimic the emotions. The key word is “mimic”! A narcissist will attempt to “mirror” the best qualities of a potential primary supply source. This is how they draw you in... by appealing to all the good qualities that exist in YOU.
Pathological envy is a symptom of #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder
Narcissists are so envious of others; they also believe that others are envious of them too. Because of their fragile ego they are incapable of finding pleasure in someone else’s success/happiness. They are pathological takers and pathological non-givers. They have this "What's mine is mine and what's yours is MINE” mentality. They can be narcissistically wounded in your presence, they might wounded by who you are and they will pretend extremely well with 100% accuracy that they like you but in the back of their mind they’re just plotting some way to set you up to make you fail. They absolutely LOVE it when you fail. I know that is very sick but they really want to see you fail. (Yes that includes narcissistic parents). Any success you ever achieve they will be jealous of and want to destroy it to appear better. The more achieved you are, the more satisfied they will be dragging you down. #Narcissists don't want you to do better than them ever. If they only went to high school, they don't want you to go to University. If they can't paint, they don't want you to paint. If they aren't popular with the opposite sex, they don't want you to be popular with it... And so on...
There is no ending with these people. They have the maturity of an angry jealous 4 year old and the brain of a chicken. Narcissists think they're smart yet they lead pathetic lives. Intelligence is a creative process. Narcissists are bad method actors. Some have better memorizing capacities but none of them are genuinely intelligent. They have no true social skills, interpersonal skills or emotional skills...
They spend their lives collecting shadows of personalities with the hope they will eventually form some sort of a real self...
Hung with my good buddy @edwidge_dandycat yesterday and he brought over some goodies! Been waiting for a good chance to try out this piece of fried gold from @wrought_iron_effects “Let the Past die. Kill it if you have to.” What guitar should I play through it first?
After sharing most of my story with a male friend, a few days after he processed it, he came back and said, “I’m just curious, was there ever physical violence?” It took me a long time to respond to that. For so many reasons, but mainly these two.
1. I will share what I am comfortable sharing and nothing more. You can trust that a trauma survivor has a trove of painful experiences to get off her chest, but let her release them when she is ready. Never before.
2. How does a physical altercation slipped into a story of severe psychological and emotional abuse change your perception of the situation, the victim, or the perpetrator? Is a visible wound what makes a trauma valid? Is the physical altercation the detail that needs to be shared in order for people to change their opinions of someone who is “just a really big douchebag” to a “truly dangerous and abusive predator”?
Unfortunately, I think the answer to that last question is “yes.” I know that this is an issue of education and a problem with our justice system. I know it’s nearly impossible to prove someone is committing domestic violence without some sort of physical evidence, and that physical evidence is easier to gather after a physical altercation. But that wasn’t the case with my physical altercations. He was careful about that. And besides, for me, those altercations were not the root of my trauma.
How about we stop minimizing emotional and psychological abuse because we have no physical evidence to prove it? How about we stop waiting for a black eye in order to justify leaving our abusive relationships? How about we start speaking up about the forms of domestic violence that go beyond the physical? Because they happen. And they do a type of damage that takes far more than an ice pack and two weeks to heal. Even in the cases of assault, it is hardly ever the visible wound that causes a victim the most pain. It is the fear and emotional wounds she develops knowing her “loving” partner is capable of causing her harm. That is the psychological torment that every domestic violence victim will endure, with or without physical injury, that is too often ignored. 💛🦋
Narcissists feel shame NOT remorse. Their shame is about how they think other people see them and not about regretting the pain that they caused to anyone else. They don’t feel sorry for what they’ve done to you. They’re very aware of what they are doing and they don’t care how you feel. They don’t have that capacity. To know that they had purpose behind every action, every inaction, everything was calculated... it was all intentional and to know the suffering that I went through and that other people are going through as a result of someone’s intentional actions it makes me kinda sad and frankly very, very disgusted!
Jerks and assholes usually have a line that they won’t cross. Narcissists have no line. There is NOTHING too awful for them to do or say, there is no limit to how far they will go to hurt someone. They know the impact and they actually LOVE the fact that you bring you pain.
They don't love YOU. They love the ENERGY they get from HURTING you.
Narcissists are not capable of love as we know it. They are incapable of loving ANYONE.
When you truly love someone you could never intentionally doing anything that would bring harm to them. When you truly love someone you’re very concerned with their highest possible good. You want that for them, deeply! When you truly love someone you LIKE to see them HAPPY! You really enjoy it! Seeing them happy brings you great pleasure!
Narcissists are NOT hoping for your high as possible good and they don’t want you to be happy. They’re hoping to see you stumble. The #narcissist likes to see you frustrated. They like to see you filled with anxiety… That gives them great pleasure. Not only they do enjoy watching you struggle in helpless confusion as they push down harder but they also feel more powerful while they watch you. Because nothing says “I love you” like kicking someone when they’re down!
Narcissists are totally incapable of loving you in the manner a person should be loved. They can’t feel caring, empathy or respect toward others.