Hello Luvs ~
Of all the books that I put my hands on during my own healing process from narcissistic abuse, the one that helped me the most had absolutely NO-thing to do with narcissism, abuse, or codependency. And everything to do with breaking old programming that made me susceptible to narcissistic abuse in the first place.
You see, despite being born an Intuitive Empath, years of study in spirituality and metaphysics, and guiding people in work, love, and life for more than 20 years, I still had wounds and issues, blindspots if you will, that I had not yet addressed. And getting involved with a narcissist brought them all to the surface.
And while I knew how to get other people out of the quicksand - I needed a “me” to push me to use what I know, and do the work - as well as give things a new twist to keep my interest - so I could make a full recovery.
So if you’re looking for some weekend reading that can literally change your life - you might want to get Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by @officialdrjoedispenza.
You’ll thank me for it later. ~ ✌🏽➕🖤
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Having been assholey 10 years ago does not cause me shame. If I were still behaving in assholey ways that would be shameful. I love that recovery not only gives me tools and permission for amending my own behaviors but also calls me to share. To recover outloud helps others while agitating some. #ohwell Sharing the mess along with the message is an act of faith and courage. I heard it expressed frequently by my family of origin THEY GOT WHAT THEY DESERVED– which led to my own false belief that we may each enforce our truths and wills on those who disturb us. Thank good gawd almighty that I was able to unlearn this in time to raise children- and to break the cycle of unwholesome thinking and behavior. Unless it is being said to/of someone for achievement recognition, a promotion, or a high score well earned, it is bullshit. Nobody deserves harm. NOBODY.
Cruelty is not a natural consequence nor is it corrective or constructive. When a person is cruel, it is because they are broken, not because something or someone has earned it. Cruelty is a choice.
Another person’s vulnerability, fragility, ignorance, even meanness is not an invitation or free pass to do them harm. There is a difference between being corrective and being hateful. Defense from legitimate danger differs vastly from attacking. Malevolence is the work of the mentally unwell. There is help for that. Good news, vigilantes: It is never too late to seek help and to change. I am so grateful to no longer be trapped by that way of thinking. #npd#abuse#trauma#shame#resentment#pride#ego#fear#truthspeaker#recovery#woke#awakening#courage#faith#honest#healing#humility#vulnerability#authenticity#kindness#acceptance#radical#unapologeticallyme#unapologetic#sorrynotsorry
People who haven’t been abused often wonder why a person wouldn’t just leave an abusive relationship. There are many reasons why people stay. If you have a friend in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, support them by understanding why they may not want to or be able to leave. .
Conflicting Emotions 🎭
👉Fear of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship. 👉Believing Abuse is Normal
👉Fear of Being Outed as LGBTQ+ 👉Embarrassment of abuse or feeling they’ve done something wrong by becoming involved with an abusive partner. 👉Low Self-esteem or thinking that the abuse is their fault.
👉Love and hope that their abuser will change. .
👉Social/Peer Pressure if the abuser is popular or liked
👉 Cultural/Religious Reasons and gender roles and fear of bringing shame.
👉Pregnancy/Parenting and the pressure to raise their children with both parents together, or threats to take or harm the children. .
Distrust of Adults or Authority 👨✈️
👉“It’s Just Puppy Love” disbelief that young people really experience love can make them feel no one will take them seriously. 👉Distrust of Police: Many people feel that the police can’t or won’t help them. 👉Language Barriers/Immigration Status: fear that reporting the abuse will affect immigration status. Language barriers can make it difficult to express the depth of their situation to others. .
Reliance on the Abusive Partner 🥀
👉Lack of Money 👉Nowhere to Go: they may feel they have no one to turn to. 👉Disability: Physical dependence. .
What Can I Do? ⁉️
If you have friends or family members who are in unhealthy or abusive relationships, the most important thing you can do is be supportive and listen to them. Please don’t judge! Understand that leaving an unhealthy or abusive relationship is never easy.
Try to let your friend know that they have options. Invite them to check out resources like www.loveisrespect.org, even if they stay in the abusive relationship.