Cozy up in Dave’s corner at the hottest new @harrietsrooftop of @thejeremyhotel #WestHollywood . -
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📸 by @sssourabh
So Long Gone
For years after I would be walking in a mall or down a street and think I saw him just up ahead, going in the other direction, standing at a bus stop, getting off the subway. I would dream about him showing up again -- reports of his death greatly exaggerated -- or never having been gone at all. I would see a movie and wonder what he would have thought of it. I would listen to a song and think he would have liked it. I would hear a violin and suddenly want to cry. He remains an amputated limb in my life; a phantom pain in an arm cut off long ago. .
So many things keep the colors vibrant, but the flesh of him fades to outlines, to darkness.
Time doesn't make everything better, it just makes them different. Sometimes it brings guilt. What kind of careless creature would forget? .
Sometimes it brings a sense of accomplishment. I still am. I learned. I grew. I lived.
Occasionally, there is joy at something recalled from that life so long gone. A shard from our shattered childhood, a snippet of a song, a sense of accomplishment that he might appreciate this thing I've done.
The arm never grows back, but that wasn't the end of him. That isn't the end of me. We remain.