We read it / say it / hear it all the time. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. Cancer’s a bully. It doesn’t care if you’re young or old.
Because it doesn’t have emotions or thought! It doesn’t ponder who’s life to fuck up next. It doesn’t even know what it’s doing is detrimental to the body. Because it’s not a cognitive entity outside of ourselves that can feel or have an opinion. Nope. Cancer can’t think. Because cancer is our own body’s tissue filled with errors and mistakes. Because cell biology can go wrong. Because horrible shit happens. Because life.
It’s not like our mutated cells are hanging out conspiring and conniving together all “Oh ya, this one. She’s young, let’s fuck her up with some cell overgrowth. We don’t care if she’s got dreams.” Cancer doesn’t care because it has no brain. Cancer = your own cells. Your glitched up misinformed mutated DNA that bypassed a shit ton of programs and pathways that are supposed to occur in cell death and thus now wreaks havoc in your system.
War on cancer? War on yourself.
I was recently at a support event where there were mixed stages of breast cancer. And when the women with mets spoke this is the response that some of the early stagers gave them. The result? The fourth stagers stopped sharing.
I was once early stage too. I know it’s not easy to listen to others who have a recurrence shortly after chemo or receive a diagnosis of metastatic disease 5, 6, 7, 10+ years out. But for goodness sake, let’s not further isolate the ones going through advanced disease. It is responses like these that render us to not speak for fear of being THAT women. The dark cloud in the room.
Metastatic breast cancer is everyone’s worst nightmare, YES. I know the fear all too well. But if those facing stage IV feel silenced by the fear and discomfort of others it only perpetuates the loneliness of this illness. And separates us all.
WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR FRIENDS LIVING WITH METS...
* Listen. Offer support if you can. * Become an advocate
* Participate in research * Include stage IV in breast cancer education (“awareness”) - Encourage donations to Metavivor.org (as we all know, stage IV receives the least amount of funding)
* Remember every body is different * If fear takes over, take a breather, take space, take care of you * Don’t forget your friend with mets
Trying to keep positive this week. Scan week is on the horizon. Getting back from a relaxing weekend away. And I think I might start going away pre scan week every time. I’m currently not obsessing over weird pains in my body, which was definitely not the case last time. I’m going to try and take this week as it comes. I’m trying to keep myself busy and I’ve got a visit from @natnalint to look forward to. Time to cross those fingers 🤞🤞🤞 and hope for the best.
I was getting ready to go out tonight, and I was struck by the realization of how content I am. When I was first diagnosed, I thought that having metastatic cancer would cast a shadow over my daily life. That I’d never be truly happy again. But actually, the opposite has happened: facing a life-threatening disease has amplified the joy and love and gratitude that I feel every day. And I am thankful. I am thankful for my body, and for my strength and resilience. I am thankful for feeling good. I am thankful that I get to go to a concert tonight with my husband. I am thankful I have eyelashes to put mascara on. I am thankful to be alive. #metastaticbreastcancer#thisismbc#stage4needsmore#grateful#silverlinings#cancersurvivor#cancerthriver#metavivor#metathriver
Pending Doctor appointment ensues. In which anxiety of the unknown then consumes the mind. And the body goes into hyper drive with increasingly distressing unexplained symptoms. Just to keep things EVEN MORE interesting.
‘I don’t know how you do it?’ Well, you just do. When I first found out I had cancer I went into survival mode. I knew I had to make it through this. It was almost like a numb feeling and I just woke up and faced each day one day at a time. Once I started chemo my survival mode was on super activation mode. I wasn’t going to let cancer define me. I had six rounds to go. There was an end to this nightmare. It was like a countdown. Taking pictures at each infusion knowing I only had so many left. When my doctor told me I would need a seventh infusion I broke down. I had used up all my energy. I only kept six rounds worth of survival. I cried tears and for the first time felt defeated. My dad had just passed away three weeks before and I felt empty and numb. My mom came to the rescue. She flew out for my seventh round of chemo. She was my strength. Maybe that’s how we do it. Maybe it’s the people that are truly there for us that get us through it. The people who show up without being asked. The people who check in. The people who cook. The people who donate. The people who send cards and packages in the mail. The people that laugh with you. The people that cry with you. The people that just listen. Family, friends, coworkers, doctors, social media friends and even strangers. The support from people, no matter how small. That’s how we do it. They say that cancer teaches you who your real friends are. Many of us may loose some but in the process we gain many. Thank you for being my strength. * *
There are an estimated 150,000 people living with Metastatic Breast Cancer in the United States.
I am one of them. I am a Metavivor.
Only 2% of all cancer funding goes towards research for those of us living with Stage IV cancer. Three of my friends found this statistic unacceptable, and so they have been running a fundraiser in my name in the hopes of putting more money directly into the hands of people who can fund research to change Stage IV cancer from an terminal diagnosis to a chronic condition ( @metavivor )
Will you help? You can purchase a T-shirt or, if you don’t need another T-shirt, you can donate directly through the link in my bio!
Oh journeys... a road trip across the country with the fam. A pilgrimage to unite with distant relatives. A backpacking trip with your bestie. An adventure sail across the seas with your luvvva. A diagnosis of stage IV cancer when you’re in your thirties. One of these things ain’t like the other. But if travel is going to be used as a metaphor for a life-changing devastating illness ... Cancer is more like a never-ending turbulent low oxygenated redeye flight from hell that you never wanted to go on in the first place. *Files term Journey into the NOPE pile*
Not everyone chooses recon, but for those who do, it still baffles me that people will downplay the reality of mastectomies and rebuilding a breast. (At times it’s even the women facing cancer!) What we go through to make up our chests is horrifying in comparison to breast augmentation. If it was a damn boob job it would be a damn boob job. It’s NOT. I have yet to learn of a women who is truly more satisfied with her “new” non-feeling boobs post-mastectomy versus the natural ones she had before cancer. If you are out there, you’re a rare breed. Just please don’t call it a boob job if it involved removing all of your breast tissue. It’s called reconstruction for a reason.
every time I learn of another
who has died
of the same disease
that I have.
On a day
where I am asymptomatic,
it is their death
that shakes me
from my denial.
It is an anticipated
and yet sudden departure
that reminds me
that I too
will one day be gone
just like that.
It is their passing
that tears me a part,
fills me with anguish,
deep pain and sorrow.
How can this be happening
to such young individuals?
What makes us the chosen ones?
This can’t be real.
This can’t be real.
This can’t be real.
This can’t be real.
I watched Into the Wild a couple of days ago. Still one of my favorites. 🌲🏔 I guess I’ve been looking for some answers. What is happiness? Where does one find it?
So when I saw Expedition Happiness on @netflix I figured I would give it a try. 🚍🗺🛣 If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a young German couple who travels the Americas in an old school bus looking for their meaning of happiness. They are traveling with their dog and ultimately realize that moving around all the time adds a lot of stress and what they really are in need of is a way of settling down somewhere. I had some issues with this documentary and I’m not sure they actually answered the question they were looking to answer. But it did remind me of a conversation I had with a friend about my own happiness. When I first was diagnosed before I realized my cancer had metastasized a friend asked me what the first thing I was going to do once my treatment was done? Basically where would I want to travel? Anyone that knew me before cancer knows that my happiness was traveling. But it took me only seconds to answer that it didn’t matter where I was as long as I was with my family and friends. When all of this was going to be over I just wanted to be surrounded by the people I cared about. This still holds true. My happiest moments these last 8 months have been moments of simplicity shared with people who get me. Thank you for being part of my happiness. 💛
@intothewildofficiall @expeditionhappiness #thisladyisthriving#metastaticbreastcancer#metastaticAF#thisisstageIV#ThisisMBC#dontignorestageIV#breastcancer#metathriver#cancer#stageIV#MBC#breastcancerawareness#pinksisters#cancersucks#breastcancerfighter#chronicillnesssupport#chemo#chemotherapy#curecancer#triplepositive#her2positive#metavivor#breasties#lifewithcancer
I’m in a medically induced menopause because I have cancer.
It’s hot and sticky and my tolerance for heat, indecisiveness and bullshit is low.
I’m living in lakes, oceans and rivers.
I’m finding tree shade, umbrellas and cool drinks to quench my insatiable thirst for life
despite the hardship I face.
I’m living ALL IN when I feel good
and going ALL OUT when fun and
adventure presents itself.
I’m not here to play small.
I’m not here to second-guess opportunity.
I’m not here to let others dictate my state of mind.
I’m not here to allow illness to rule my every move.
I’m not here to experience life half-lived.
I’m here to serve my own health and happiness.
And heal my heart and wounds.
I’m here to forget to pay bills.
And to forget that I own a phone.
I’m here to love in real life.
And to choose what sets me free.
If it makes others uncomfortable,
I don’t give a f*ck.
This body, this life, this season is all I have. ☀️ I’ll be the one in the bikini, barefoot in the grass singing from the top of her lungs that Summer livin’s easy, even when it’s hard. ✌🏼 #nofucksgiven#justkeepliving#doyou#summer#lifewithcancer#metastaticbreastcancer