So, I did minimal research before running with the name #ManYouScript and I can't change that.
Simply clicking on the hashtag a few days ago had me like 😳
I found the Instagram account @manyouscript and was... Stunned. "What the..?" Disappointed. "Somebody else has this?" Sad. "Sigh..." Discouraged. "I don't want to do this anymore." But then... I was reflective. "Hang on a minute..." Pleased. "Somebody. Else. Has. This!" Encouraged. "I am not alone on this journey." Grateful. "All is not lost." Recommitted. "Let's do this!" So... while the overall essence will remain the same, I have to retreat into my mind to reorganize, restrategize and then reactualize my little 'self express' train before I bring her back out on the tracks.
I shall not take too long but will take as long as it takes. I'll be back like the Governator's vertebrae.
In the interim, do check out @manyouscript. Pretty neat account.
So, for what is probably the last time... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
But still... More to come... 😁
When you #WCW , do you really C on your W that W or you just do it for the Gram? Whatever the case may be, I've C'ed on this W every W, and all other days of the week since I met her.
First time I laid eyes on her, I was taken by her eyes. Okay, no lies - and her things, size that make you arise and salute such a heavenly enterprise. Because she's a business... maaaaan!
If you're slow, or I'm just imbalanced (yeah, it's the latter); I'm saying the girl fine. Die! Beautiful! But thing is, after the outside has gobsmacked you, if she let's you in, then the outside beauty is ugly compared to what lies within.
She is an angel. She's not perfect (except those eyes sha) but she's the perfect ally. A sensitive soul with fire inside. She will cry with you but also make you cry if you try her. Mama don't take no mess!
She's a friend, a big and baby sister, a mother and a daughter all at the same time. I remember recording a track at my home studio and she came in and turned to S. Diddy, giving pointers on the record, dead serious face. I heard her sing. What's not to love?
So when her twin babies asked me to host her 40th Birthday soiree, I said Yippee Ki yay to #sheikha40 and #MardiGrasMadness !
Having a good time then literal rain on the parade came down but no way were we going to let that kill the vibe.
Brought her out in the rain and we danced like no tomorrow and the party joined in, expensive shoes, makeup and all because that's what you do for someone so special. (📽 @iyawoigbo 😘) The selfless make you unselfish. Unless you're a shellfish (that means nothing but just flowed, bite me)
Lesson is to be the best version of yourself always and positivity will follow. She has a good heart. And a good ass. Her words, not mine. (But she ain't lying 😄) You really can't fake love. So be real with it or don't deal with it.
The signature cocktail captured it all - The Dirty Sarwi and the Virgin Sarwi. We love you just the way you are and hope we can love just the way you do @sheikhasarwi. #WomanCrushWednesday
And my crush on you, we've got to blame it on something... 🤔
Blame it on the Rain! ☔💃🏽🕺🏾🤗😘 #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
A week ago, good people I have the privilege of calling friends, lost their father. Words are used loosely but this is a GREAT man. Not because of wealth, status, career achievement but of his heart.
With his wife of half a century, they brought eight children into this world, which by any social measure, is a lot. Not to them. Maybe not enough as they took on several other children; blood relatives, friends of their kids or total strangers. There was more than enough love and respect to go round for everyone. Everyone!
Had the honor of meeting him a few times, won't claim a close relationship but his aura and how people gravitated towards him said it all - he is love.
Eight kids. Seven girls. There must have been some royal rumbles but every glimpse the outside world gets of the Alile 8 is the most united front of love and respect. A reflection of this great man. Their closeness knows not zip codes.
This is the goal; leave the earth with a lasting legacy that only your physical presence is absent. Your essence lives forever through the children you raised and the multiple lives you've touched.
None can fill the void left by the love of her life but their mother, true servant of Christ, along with him, knows she will never be alone because they built a firm foundation that nothing can shake. Not even death.
I grieve but celebrate with #AlileMassive . They are the glory of life well lived and worth aspiring to. Many have felt directly and indirectly his selfless generosity of time and resources.
This journey I'm on is because of men like him that prove beyond all doubt that we can be and do good. Always.
It still hurts. Death is life's one guarantee but we're never ready. Stay in touch best you can. One call eventually will be the last one so never stop calling.
Legacies are built by deeds of man. Indeed this man is legend. My friends, take care of your mother and each other as always.
Rest well, Apostle. You set a high bar. To be a fraction the man you are, my children will be alright. Thank you sir. Live it up with the Saints.
May we all be more like you. Adieu.
More to come...
As I settled in to share a tale from the memory vaults, I realized that I didn't really feel like writing... so I didn't.
The lesson, I guess, is that sometimes you don't want to do something and that's alright! Never feel bad about taking time for you. Just hope people understand and if they don't, ah well, they'll get over it. Or not.
As long as these two love me, I'm good 😁 #LoveYours 🍻 to the weekend, all. I'll be back... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
You know how guys brag about being Don Juan; the ladies' man? Promise best you've ever had and all?
Never got that. Doesn't mean men can't be confident in romantic pursuits. Confidence and self assurance are attractive to ladies. Just be aware arrogance is not confidence. Promise you'll rock her world, better be Balboa and not with Bulwinkle!
Not arrogance; fact - many girls liked me! I liked many girls too, before you roll your eyes. Hardly acted on it though because I was shy.
Girls would outright tell me they liked me or act in ways even the blind could see but I was on some, she needs to initiate, make the move so I'm 100% sure.
Careful what you wish for. Out once, a girl built like Meagan Good was burning the dancefloor. All eyes on her - guys, girls, waiters. She could move. All eyes on her. I'd soon find that her eyes were on me.
In her car ready to leave, a friend who knew her signalled she wanted to talk to me. Shocked, I went over. She spoke. "So what's next tonight?" "Home." "Want company?" I froze. "I like you, I just want to chill with you till it's safer to drive home." I gave this spiel of having to wake up for church in the morning (I wasn't going), my grandma was in the house and whatnot. Just spewed BS.
She was befuddled. Asked I send my boy over; he then looked up at me; confused - are you stupid?
Maybe. But definitely scared shitless! Hottest girl all night, why'd she pick me? All these Cock Diesel types around, why me? Who's punking me?
I punked myself which we do. Psyche ourselves out of situations and regret for yonks. Maybe not the most wholesome illustration but you paid attention, right? 😉
I thought she was out of my league and I'd be a let down after she made the bold step to approach me. As a recovering people pleaser, letting her down would kill me. I let fear (some may say common sense 😂) rule the day.
If I ran because instincts said, "bad idea," fair but clearly wanted to see it through. Just didn't have the balls to. Literally.
Lesson is to never let fear win. Trust common sense and instinct. You always miss 100% of the shots you don't take... or something.
More to come...
Bad dad yesterday. That's how I feel. Went to Nickelodeon NickFest, which Lil Man had been waiting for since last year's edition.
For starters, we were late but got to see Ninja Turtles and his favorite, Paw Patrol before we headed unto the fairgrounds.
He wanted to try everything, as kids do, and we were at his mercy, as Baby Sis was just happy to be out in open space.
Things take a turn when Wife asks what he's eating as we wait outside a tent. I turn and he's munching on a slice of pizza. "Where'd you get that," I demand before spotting the attendant with a box. "I was hungry," he says, through a full mouth. "Who's she?" "A stranger." "What were you taught about strangers?" "Never take things from them." WHACK!!! to the back of his head, my open palm went, "NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Regrettably didn't chastise the attendant as violence is never the answer and at that point was a likely outcome.
Held that over his head rest of the day. So disappointed. But bad dad bit comes from not sacrificing enough yesterday. He's a kid. He's at a fair. If he wants to go on every ride, then he goes on every ride. Especially when they're free. But I was tired and ended up being a killjoy.
After two hours+ we cut the trip short - time to go. Sad face central. Few tears trickled down. Friends saw him and asked why he was crying/sad. Doubly bad. He was wheezing and all but still, gotta let a kid be a kid!
I know how stressful these things are so should prepare - diet, workout - to make sure he has the best time ever. He's a kid, so he'll move on quickly but I'm stuck on my betrayal. Didn't even get him a toy (that Baby Sis would destroy in an hour) or anything.
While I am truly remorseful, this maybe really isn't that deep but does paint a picture of the job parenting is - where are the lines? What are the sacrifices? How do you decide? What to do?
Kids must learn to be satisfied before they're spoilt and lost. Same time though, parents must remember being kids and use that as a barometer for adequate compromise. We can all be happy!
We learn every day and I've learned to sacrifice more days for my seed. I hope!
More to come...
Dad and I have a, let's say, 'special' relationship. Things haven't always been great and as a child you hold on to those experiences of early youth.
Then, you have children of your own and gain perspective. The world can be a cruel place that causes individuals to react differently to similar situations. We are just products of our experiences.
Dad asked once, "Have I ever said no to you?" Truth is, I can't recall him actually having said no. That is something. BUT! Hasn't always been yes 😏 He must be my chief instructor in diplomacy 🙂
My last two years of secondary school, he lived outside Lagos (mom already lived in Abuja) and came home weekends. My last year, my boy Yozi and I planned a party, sent IVs out and all was in place except the venue - my house.
We often didn't see every weekend he came home. Our schedules were unkind to each other 🙂 Or maybe taylormade that way 😄 Anyway, I hadn't asked his permission yet.
Got home night before party and he was out. Slept on couch outside his room so we'd have to interact in the morning.
I awoke, went into his room, some small talk, then got to the point. He looked up, "You've invited guests?" Affirmative. He chuckled, "I can just lock my room and go out, right?" I exhaled and nodded agreement. Then he asked if I needed money or anything. I did but said I didn't at the risk of that changing things up. He was the coolest dude ever at that point!
He called in a technician to look at the generator to make sure all was in order and we'd have back up if power went out. I was truly taken aback. He could have shut it all down and set me straight for my (I love this overbloated word) effrontery! Instead, he helped his son score cool points.
Honestly, this is the man he is, just too often jolted by life's sucker punches and maybe not handling them appropriately.
I pray I'm doing good by my kids like my father did for me that day and many others. There's bad in the world but focus on the good is what makes us great.
Happy Birthday Dad. May your lessons be my blessings for my kids burdens to lessen. Thank you for always trying. It is why I'm doing okay too... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
Roach introduced his friend moving back to Lagos. She'd be working for a magazine.
NOTE: biggest bro is REAL Roach. Me Baby Roach. Promoted self to Roche. Thanks.
After she moved, they met and he got his first 9-5 as sub-editor on a football newspaper and also music critic for her women's magazine.
Paper bombed and folded some 18 months later. He was too expensive or somat to be absorbed into the women's magazine where he spent most of his time anyhow. But he kept writing for them.
That led to advertising as a copywriter but some 18 months later, she called again. She was at a groundbreaking news publication that would change the African media landscape. They needed an Entertainment Editor. She said look no further. He'd join her again.
Fantastic place till salaries got shy but pressure more bold. He left before it sunk and tried talent management and freelance work for the next year-plus.
Then she called. Again! She was at another women's magazine owned by an awesome lady. Needed Features Ed (methinks) and she'd look no further. Third time's the charm? Three times lucky? Good things come in threes?
Means a lot for someone to care so much, value you so highly to keep calling you. Or maybe he's just cheap labor 😁 Does wonders for confidence and self belief. He is who he is because she believed. He is grateful. Eternally.
Last two jobs have been most challenging and uncomfortable. Common ground? No women in upper management. Coincidence? 🤷🏾♂️ That's most companies, successful or otherwise but maybe it's just what he's used to - working with women. There's challenges, definitely but there's also a comfort that exists. Currently consulting for a woman and her excitement is encouraging. It's early but he's optimistic. Spirits must merge for souls to fly.
The message? He's a woman-wrapper 😜 Really though, #GirlPower is a real thing. They typically run the biggest business - family, so why not corporate?
Always grateful to the women in my life but today, I honor, praise and thank my Aunty Kemi from London for always believing in me.
I love you like a fat kid loves cake 🤗😘 #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
"Roche! What's up?!! Mehn! This is my guy! Crazy guy! The craziest! Yo, give me your number, we gats link up this week! Roooooche!" This was a weekly ritual, almost, at Lagos night spots in the 00s. Run into an #IJGB (I Just Got Back, for the uninformed), hear how good it is to see me, how crazy I was and how we have to catch up. Once happened with the same guy consecutive weeks. True story. Alcohol is a helluva drug.
Noticed something else while out and about - music was the same. Popular songs of any era get played repeatedly, that's a given but week on week, same songs, same sequence. Would tell friends what song would come next and my accuracy was a hit. Wondered if the DJ was actually deejaying or playing a mixed CD bought in traffic. Club was jumping, so who was I to complain?
Nights out started on Wednesdays and ended at the Beach on Sundays. Never been for any beach move. No regrets. The 5-day party weeks left funds routinely depleted and featured a sad regularity - debt!
Someone would always scream, "Let's get bottles" like they were balling like Puffy but at the night's end, look for donations to settle the bill. Would always come up short and promise to settle the bill the following week then resume on Wednesday.
This embarrassing recurrence had me asking - why am I here? Because my friends asked. They seemed to enjoy it but I didn't. Same gist from last week to years ago, laughing like it's fresh. Everyone posing, spending money one didn't have. Pressing up on someone's girl/guy. Same. Every. Week!
Made the decision - I'm out! They tried to convince me, would call every week BUT nah. They tried guilt tripping but they were trippin'. Just couldn't keep up the facade.
Not judging anyone. They seemed to really like it. I just didn't. Found out early wasn't my thing. Lost friends but guess they weren't friends.
Guess the message is that peer pressure is real but self pleasure is realer. I don't like what I hate and as big bro says, "What is not good is bad." Do what you like even if they don't like what you do. All that matters is you!
And I can still rock with the best! If I wanted to... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
Depending on who you ask, he's somewhat of a ladies' man but in reality, he had no game to speak of.
Growing up, he spent a lot of time around girl cousins, neighbors and such. So, he didn't know this but this was the groundwork for being the Grand Patron of The Friend Zone! Yet, many think he's some kind of Don Juan.
Truth is, quite a number of girls did like him. Initially. I mean, he was some kind of cute. Some kind of funny. All kinds of nice. What's not to like?
But they'd get to know him and it'd be, "This is not a lover. This is a brother! Or other!" So, he had to get some game to switch things up. He developed his one move to break the ice.... "Hi, I'm Chichi." "Chichi? That's a girl's name!" Worked every time. Then he'd hit with some corny variant of, "Well, I'm all man and I can show you." #Cringe 🙈
Then this one day, he spots this absolute babe on campus, talking to his friend. He darts over hoping to catch them before they move. A few feet away, he catches his breath and starts his approach with what he thinks is a swagger. "Hi," he says. "This guy isn't my friend because he knows pretty ladies like you but won't introduce me. Well, I'm Chichi." Hand extended for a handshake but she doesn't take it. "I know who you are," she says, with a smile. Game changer, yeah? In like Flynn, right? WRONG!
He stutters, "Uh... oh... um... yah, so, um... good to see you guys," and runs off. Why? Because the no-game having dude couldn't see that opportunity to switch it up and go in a different direction because "Hi, I'm Chichi" always worked! She already knew who he was and was smiling too. And was fine! Close it right there, san! #Loser
Basically, the lesson (I think) is to always be prepared for whatever life throws at you and be confident, self assured enough to face it head on, instead of turning and running.
That's the lesson. The truth? The Ladies Man is a myth! As you can see, he had no game and that's so laaaaaaaame... Shame!
More to come...
I've been dealing with death since infancy.
Earliest recollection is of my eldest brother's best friend drowning when they were about 4 years old. One of the reasons I still can't swim.
Dad's grandmom died when I was 4. His mom wailed outside the hospital. Family flew in from all over, including Sierra Leone where she's from. We had the matching aso-ebi en masse. A first for me.
Then her son died of something called asthma a while after. He was 52. I was diagnosed at 8.
A pre-teen family friend died. Misdiagnosis. Iradat passed. My second brother's best friend's brother died in a car accident. Mother witnessed it.
Mother's best friend died after an accident. Complications breathing. She was my asthma 'coach.' Mother hasn't been same since. Me neither. A lot of us. Never seen so many people cry.
Mother's father died. Dad's father died. My younger sister died. Mother's other best friend, her younger sister, died. They wouldn't tell me till I got to Abuja. I wore an ill-fitting suit to her funeral ☺
Then their mother died. Maami. She taught me how to love. Spoke no English but was a friend to all mine.
Great uncle, the greatest guy, who put a melodious 'La' in front of all names, passed.
Dad's mom passed. Saw her that afternoon waiting to be discharged. Was first to hospital that night. Woosah.
Both mother's living sisters lost their husbands. Friends lost babies in infancy. Days old.
Ade died. Asthma related. Randy B is living in the sky for similar reasons. Ime. Smartest, secondary school. Car crash, University. Sifo was 37 when he passed. I'm 38.
My Nigeria travels oft follow death. Fathers of friends. Abia. Enugu. Edo. Dana passengers were at my in-law's birthday party.
Grandma Akinsete. Mummy Obanikoro.
Many more have departed.
I cry. A lot. But not so much at funerals. Seems I've made peace with death for surely it is coming.
The message is to live while alive and control what you can. Every moment counts. These loved ones have shown us that.
Asthma, right? I will breathe easy until that last breath.
For now, I'll just live. love. laugh. eat. repeat.
You should too... One life!
More to come...
1am. Ish. Wake with a start. She'd slammed the bathroom door open, looking down like, "Yep! My water just broke!" Sit up. Process. What to do. Calls her brother. The good Doctor. He says no need to panic or rush. You can head to the hospital around 5 or 6. Just try to relax as much as you can.
She tells me to go back sleep. Needs me sharp for go-time and all through. I'm like, how can I? She insists. I comply.
We leave around 5.30, get to hospital 6ish. Doc not there yet. Back and forth, up and down ensues. She's put in the ward, varied checks start - dilation et al. She's slanted, inverted, whatever but there's a lot of uncomfy activity.
What Nigerians call #SeeFinish is in full effect. Splayed all kinda ways. Poked. Prodded. All. Doc shows up. Shoves his big ass hand all up in there to check on the baby. See finish.
He turns round, all businesslike, "Baby's breached. Emergency C-Section!" Movement. My eyes dart from person to person. As she's wheeled into theatre, drugged up, she has to sign a disclaimer/waiver. Can't I do that? No, you both have to. Sigh.
Now, this slow-talking anaesthesiologist stops me from going in on some, "Ehn... you know... most times... instead of focusing on mom and baby... we are trying to revive the dad... so... it's at our discretion." I don't argue only because he's about to be with my wife and child.
Head Doc sees me outside. Calls me chicken. I explain. He's upset. Tells slow-burn off, asks me to scrub in. By the time I get to the door, my son is wailing. Walk in and see Mr. Burns from The Simpsons crying. Meet your son. Kiss wife on the forehead and peek over the curtain to get a real life view of innards. Intestines and stuff. #Science
Look back at son and know life has changed. All of my being will make sure this being is okay. Not being there from the very beginning doesn't mean you don't ride till the very end and that's what I will do. So help me God!
More importantly though, now I get why mothers react like they can kill a child for some foolishness! The entry into earth ain't child's play! And man has the gall to think he's better than awoman.
More to come...
To all the girls I loved before... She was his first official girlfriend, for 7 months and then they reconnected years later. Mid-20s. She visited him with her best friend. It was funny. The best friend noticed. Called them both out on it. Separately. But they ended up together. Again.
They liked each other before but never spent time together. Unfinished business. It seemed.
It was fun. Reminisced about old days, laughing at the nothingness of their prior relationship. They made a good pair. It was all good. For the most part.
The bad? Different tribes. Different religions. Marriage wasn't on the cards but at that age, a realistic destination. He told her friend he'd convert for her. But it'd never get that far.
She always came to see him. He couldn't go see her. Most guys would love that. But he's all in. They tried to see a movie once but aborted when she figured her folks would be at same venue and there could be a 'meeting.' They were never alone. He was at a friend's house. Someone was always around. They made plans to go to his brother's house. Where it'd be just them.
The day came. She called. He had to cancel. His friend, worried, asked, "I hope you told her you had a job interview?!" He replied, "No. I told her the truth." The truth? His ex-girlfriend was in town for one night and he really wanted to see her. It'd been forever! Distance was the cause of their separation, you see. Therefore, he could reschedule with the incumbent.
His friend thought about getting new friends that day.
His girl had only turned down two great opportunities to work that day because she was going to be spending it with her boyfriend but sure, go see your ex!
He did... Man should always tell the truth, however, do not create dumb situations that require you to lie at all!
As the young man is looking for brownie points for honesty, truth is he was just a young horn dog looking to have his cake and eat it too! He honestly didn't see that then but the man he is now knows fully well that was it! Dunce.
Love and respect your woman and there will be no confusion. It's that simple... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
One truth about this appointment to earth is that disappointment will unearth. Man will fall short and let you down, even yourself.
Expectations are a dangerous thing to have but something we all cannot let go of. You expect a certain outcome based on certain input.
You got married and expected an easy ride because you love each other and learned from the mistakes of others. Alas, the rollercoaster is often not fun.
That job was perfect on paper, the interview went well, the package was great, hours just right and yet, here you are confused.
It looked great online, was highly recommended, price was just right but the package arrived, you're like 😕
Best trailer ever, your favourite actors are in it, reviews are epic but you just wasted 3 hours you'll never get back.
Expectations. Can't escape them. But we need to manage them. Manage the shit out of them, to be exact.
Some see a pessimist because I plan for the best but prepare for the worst. I just find it limits surprises.
People will let you down. Knowingly and unknowingly. We're all creatures of time and chance. Something always comes up! How will you handle it, though?
I'm seen as a good guy. Helpful, trustworthy, loyal, reliable. But it depends on who you ask and when. I don't expect positive reviews all the time, in fact, I have a bad habit of self deprecation.
I try to be there always, be everything to everyone but all the Superman t-shirts in the world won't make me Kal-el. Even he let's people down because saving one person here is the opportunity cost of abandoning another person over there.
Bottom line: temper expectations in every situation and have a very open mind. In no way am I advocating to settle for less but rather to set up for best... case scenario.
I do not expect you to agree with this post for that voids it immediately! You were not expecting that, were you? Neither was I!
Truth be told, when I started, I didn't know what to expect and may have fallen below my expectations. And yours.
Expect the unexpected but have great expectations for your life! But don't expect too much... Now, how can I throw in 'expectant'? 🤔
More to come...
"Yoo Hoo! I'm coming up boyfriend!" That's the call. That was it. That's all I had to hear. And I'd start crying. She's here again! Nowhere is safe.
Apparently, I was a cute kid. Or more accurately, so handsome! This is what all my mother, grandmother and aunties friends would say. I was every auntie's boyfriend.
I'd get hugged till I couldn't breathe. Cheeks pulled till I feared they would sear. And kissed repeatedly. The worst.
I could deal with it. For the most part. Just avert my eyes and smile letting them get on with it quickly then I could return to being one of the kids.
But this one auntie. She was funky. She was loud. She. Wore. Lip. Stick. She was the tormentor of my soul. She'd scream boyfriend; ignore everyone else, like, literally push people out the way to get to me and hug and kiss all over me. I'm like 6 years old! Traumatic! She made me cry! All I saw when I heard her voice was Madam Castafiore from the Tintin comics.
On this fateful evening, I heard the call. I froze. Panic-stricken. We were top floor of a six-apartment building, so she was coming up the stairs. I had to hide!
I wasn't sure how much time I had, so had I had to act. Fast! I ducked under the dining table.
Everyone knew to look there but I panicked. However, new inspiration came from somewhere. Typically, I'd lay on the floor but was compelled to climb unto the seats, so I was wedged between the chairs and the table. Deep breath.
People pulled back the table cloth thinking they'd find me and drag me to my doom but I wasn't there. I heard laughter from my 'housemates' and displeasure in auntie's voice. She wanted her boyfriend. Not tonight, mama! I passed out.
I woke up to panic! It was really late and they couldn't find me. They'd woken the neighbors, looked all over. Mother was a mess. But hey, that's her friend!
Another #FBF to the boy to understand the man. I was shy, she exacerbated it but overall explains my attraction to older women and still being shy around them. I never really recovered from Tablegate!
Yeah. I credit auntie with my social awkwardness. My fate was sealed with a kiss... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
Let's say MAN stands for Master At Nature, then WOMAN must stand for Will Optimize Master At Nature.
However, it requires the right man and woman because MAN can easily be flipped to Master At Nothing, where the wrong woman will help him optimize his nothingness. Or he can be a Master At Nature where she will help obliterate his mastery.
This man has been blessed abundantly with optimizers. The selfless mother that brought him into existence; her mother, her mother-in-law; her sisters, Aunties, friends and more.
Then there's his cousins, friends, girlfriends, classmates, co-workers, Reverend Sisters, bosses, teachers and so on. He has always been home amongst women and they have always embraced him - literally & figuratively.
At a Sallah celebration, recently, as he was leaving, his hostess' mother greeted, "Thank you, Chinedu," at which her father piped up, "Who did you say this is?" My name was repeated and he scoffed playfully, saying, "Same Chinedu that was husband to all the QC girls back in the day? That we wondered how he would marry. My dear, you're very lucky!" He says to my wife.
And that's what this is all about. THE woman. If she is lucky, then I am fortunate, blessed and highly favoured to have her. All the women in my life were prepping me to be ready for her and I still am not for I underappreciate this woman. She sees me. Not just funny guy, silly guy, friend to the earth but ME, flaws and all; fears and tears.
She let's me know who I am and helps chart the course. You'd say she's the one that stands out but she stands in! Right in the thick of it with me, standing by my side, hand in hers. She could have had a life so different, and better, but she chose me. And she'll sooner hug transformer than let me make her regret her choice. Chinedu Iroche, you will thrive, so help me God!
So while I am grateful for the women in my life; I am honoured for the woman that IS my life! #WorldCrushWednesday#Everyday
More to come...
"Death's gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard/it'll leave you physically, mentally and emotionally scarred." So rapped 50 Cent on 2003's "Many Men (Wish Death)." To lean on Hip-Hop parlance, "he ain't tell no lie, Mayne!" We struggle with hard decisions daily and it doesn't appear to be getting any easier. However, we must boldly move ahead and roll with the punches that life throws.
Today, I made a hard decision. The type that keeps you up all night and throws up more questions than a kindergarten field trip to the zoo. How do you know it's the right choice?
But, endings are just new beginnings. You exit one room and enter another or have the whole world around you if it leads outside. Either way, you catch your breath and shoop, shoop! #RIPWhitney
The true currency of life, I've found, is relationships. So that's what you always take with you when you move on. Relationships. And lifelong ones were forged. This is what counts.
My personal mantra is that there are no losses in life, only lessons. Many have been learned and wisdom has been earned. No bridges burned.
My baby girl started primary school today. More about her in coming days. But for now... new beginnings. We take the joy from that.
Life will get harder. But we're all built for it. We just have to believe and proceed. Constant motion, flow like the ocean.
So, the time has come for the page to turn. Physical departure does not mean spiritual exit too. Everywhere you go, leave a part of you behind and take a part of it with you too. It is how we grow and glow.
We started with Hip-Hop so that's how we will close. When life comes at you full speed, just do like Ma$e do and "Breathe. Stretch. Shake. Let it Go... and then On to the Next One!" #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
As summer holidays come to a close and kids get ready to go back to school, I recall my back to school daze and the message from mother - "I expect you to come first this term." Remember, kids of my generation? Parents ALWAYS came first in school 🙄
Mother wasn't like that and "always coming first" was more of a dad thing, no?
Anyway, mother had the expectation because she had three boys that would come home fon the last day and present report cards. The older two; first in class and then the baby - me - a cool seventh place or something.
Middle bro must have come first like a ridiculous 12-15 times of a possible 18, while #1 must have done it 10-13 times. I think I batted around 7-9. They never finished lower than third, I think.
I could come first when I wanted. And did. My young mind just enjoyed the knowledge that it could be done and wouldn't bother doing it. But after a term finishing seventh, I'd drop the next report card like - First Place, BOOM! And then back to status quo next term.
My rationale? It's one of my aunt's favourite stories. I'd tell mother that her sadness I didn't finish first must be the way other moms must feel when their kids didn't finish first, so why hug first position? Let's all share!
I think mother liked that but still, her job as a parent (I understand now) was to make her child the possible best at whatever they do. So, to make mother happy, "Sorry classmates, I need first place back." I told this child's story because it helps explain the man. He is a people pleaser. Not such a bad thing, except when you forget to please the most important of people - yourself! I mean, my online bio everywhere is reluctant genius!
Clearly, there's something that needs to be harnessed. Nothing great is sustained or made greater without practice, repetition. That's all mother wanted - pursuit of excellence to maximize life.
Revisit your childhood and remind yourself who you were to grasp who you are and channel your inner chi to be all you can be. This is a #FlashBackFriday to hopefully fuel #FlashForwardFriday
Who will you be and what will you do? It's all up to you... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come...
#WomanCrushedWednesday To all the girls I loved before... He loved her. He really did. Well, as far as teenage love goes. And she loved him. A lot. For all to see with no hesitation nor regret. He was hers. She was his.
That was her undoing. Or was it his? Her only crime - loving him. And showing it. He knew it was there. So did everyone else. The way she looked at him. Spoke his name. Hugged him. It was love. Raw and unencumbered.
He loved it. Appreciated it. Longed for it. But took it for granted. He would upset her, then take advantage of her love to pacify her. She loved too strong to stay mad. He felt bad. But would only get worse.
He'd speak to her sister about other girls that liked him. She was right there. Dying. As her man. Her sister. Betrayed her. Like she was just some stupid kid. But he knows now. Who the stupid kid was. Always has been.
They'd speak. At length. Him distracted by basketball. His true love. Evidently. For she'd explode, "Sometimes, I feel you prefer basketball to me!" He would respond. Condescendingly, "And?" Say hello to the stupid kid.
What did a teenager know? Valid question. Quashed, however, by the fact that many like him have grown to be worse versions of that kid. Dangerous. Hurtful. Unrepentant. For the simple reason that she loved him. Trusted him. Gave herself to him. In love.
Away for the holidays, she missed him so. He returned. She was overjoyed. Expectant. She called. Per his request. Via a hapless emissary. She spoke words of joy. Love. Appreciation. Relief. "My baby's back!" He, in return, broke up with her. "It's not you, it's me..." The dickhead signature quote.
Like that. No warning. Broken heart. Crushed spirit. Because he was a stupid teenage boy that knew nothing. Yet had the audacity to declare, "You will always be my Baby." He's a man now. She's a woman. He's a husband. She's a wife. He's a father. She's a mother. They are best of friends. She has forgiven but will never forget. Neither will he. For he has a daughter. And one day, he may have to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart.
Because of a stupid teenage boy... just. Like. Daddy... #InMyMind#OutMyMind#ManYouScript
More to come.
This little kid was a dreamer. He always had big dreams that existed beyond the realms of sleep. He'd wake up and his boundless imagination would catapult him on another voyage to more places unknown. They were vivid. They were magical. They were his to conquer and guide.
Something happened to that kid. He donned the garment of growth and let things like magic fade into the abyss of time. Time. Something the kid took for granted, like he'd have it in abundance. One dance of rhythm and truth forever.
But the beat changed. He never really noticed. That his body language was of a dialect that did not reflect his intellect. A disconnect, with reality and his clarity of who he was and what lay ahead. He was still loveable, huggable for the kid was always inside; just in disguise. With myriad reasons why not to fly. High.
Then something else happened to the kid. He had a kid. And too often saw himself. A reminder so poignant, like a roaring chant; though no sound was made. But the message was clear. That kid is still in there, when he's meant to be out here to prepare for those dreams to appear and share in the wonder of imagination and celebrate the elevation of others, through self.
He must get out because poor ventilation is bad for the health
More to come...