My view on my walk up to visit Buffy at her new home: heavenly. But remember social media tells half the story, of that.
This morning I posted a picture from Thursday, from which people will think “what a great job” or “Abi’s feeling better” or “how can she complain with a job like that?” All are probably true in some degree - it’s the first work event I have attended in a year.
But the back story is that on Thursday the gorgeous @vicmrose found me sitting on a sun lounger in that beautiful hideout, after my wonderful facial, crying my eyes out. Being at @christchurch.harbourhotel reminded me of two people I love so dearly who, since this depression descended, refuse to communicate with me. Their cruel silence fuels my suicidal tendencies on a daily basis. I left a third of the way through the day and was home in bed by 2pm, letting down the sailing team I had committed to race with that night, self-medicating until I could no longer think.
Yesterday (Friday) I’d been building up all week to socialise with some friends - I have agoraphobia and have isolated myself so much I that I cannot go out. But one of this friends who was due to visit and stay with me just went out of contact. I am worried he has a problem but also broken that he couldn’t get in contact to explain his no-show. Again, I was in bed at 6pm utterly broken and feeling so alone.
Tomorrow is take three: @isleofwightfest with the gorgeous @lottie_wilko. I am determined to do it and hope it will be a turning point 🤞🏻Because the longer this goes on the less conviction I have that I will pull through. I know everyone has their reasons for keeping distance but it breaks my already fragile heart again and again. In the meantime, I’m so grateful for the amazing friends who persist to draw me out of myself and gently encourage me to get up in the morning and live the day and life I am so fortunate to be blessed with. // #struggle#depression#suicidal#mentalhealth#isolation#lonely#missmyfamily#noendinsight#bereal
📝 Blog Post 9 📝
So A Few Days Ago, A Friend I Met In Starbucks Asked Me To Keep Her Company In The Adoption Center While She Asked Some Stuff. I Of Course Told Her It Would Be Okay. We Went And There, While She Talked To The Owner, I Saw A Small And Sad Little Girl In The Corner. I Asked The Owner About Her And They Said She Would Be Sent To New York. I Was In Shock. How Could They Just Sent Her Away. I Decided To Play Cards In The Issue And Decided That She Could Stay With Me. They Were Surprised By The Quick Answer But They Started Working On The Papers And Stuff. The Next Day I Recieved A Phone Call That I Could Go Pick Her Up Since My Record Was Clean. She Was Not Oficially Mins But I Knew It Would Happen. I Smiled And Kept Talking With Her. I Should Go And Prepare Her Room. The House I Bought Comes Included With Everything. I Was So Happy! Lil Ava Here I Come 😊 ➡Turn On Post Notifications⬅ #single#lonely#imvusingle#imvumaternity#imvuworker#imvuyounggirl#imvupictureperfect#imvustudy#imvuloveneeded#imvulonely#imvu#imvumama#imvudaughter#imvusmallfamily
(1 Corinthians 2:8)
Jesus had to die on the Cross - it was the will of God for His life and for our salvation. But Jesus did not go around broadcasting the fact that He was the promised Messiah or the death He would later suffer.
The only people He did tell were His disciples, whom He told to tell no one He was the Messiah (Matthew 16:20).
But the secrecy wasn't because of His lack of trust in the people, it was because had the people known who He was, the scripture would not have been fulfilled.
Even Peter tried to talk Jesus out of it, rebuking Him even (Matthew 16:22). It was at this time that Peter became an enemy to the plan of God, so Jesus said to him, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." (Matthew 16:22)
God plans must come to pass in our lives also. If God said it's gonna happen, then it's gonna happen; but often times He will not tell us the when or the how. He knows the more we know, the more we try to move on our own and OUR actions will cause a perfect plan that was sure to come to pass to become corrupt and eventually fail.
God knows you want certain questions answered but God knows if you knew certain things, those promises He made you will not come to pass. So trust Him as He works in the midst of you - making your path straight and ultimately walking you right up to an opened door!
God loves you!
Give your life to Christ
Say Lord I confess my sins, and I make You my Lord and Savior.
The amount of women that believe in this myth that a man that only has sex with one woman is somehow the man that every woman wants to be with is unreal. And that simply doesn’t reflect the reality of the world we live in. A lot of men that are only with one woman aren’t doing it by choice, they don’t have what it takes to attract multiple women and be able to sleep with them. So the men that have the credentials that most women do want are always going to be able to find women that are willing to sleep with him. Then when u consider that most sexual acts are private and happen behind closed doors u realize that there is no way to tell who has been faithful or who has just been very private with what they do. The only way u find out is if they get caught cheating or some consequence of cheating arises (baby, std, sexual accusation, etc). That’s why it puts women at a significant disadvantage to use their belief of whether a man has been monogamous or not as the primary way of evaluating his character. Some of the men y’all look up to and respect the most could currently be fucking multiple women. So would finding that out erase all of the other things that made u respect them in the first place? Does that change how he provides for himself or his kids? U have to pay attention to what really matters in order to find quality relationships! Tag someone that would like my page or the things I talk about! ↗️ Turn on your post notifications!! Tag someone that would like my page or the things I talk about! #terryderon#myth#relationshipadvice#lovelife#dating#relationships#message#nolie#wordstoliveby#truestory#trust#respect#realtalk#imjustsaying#facts#truelove#accurate#reallytho#truthbetold#loyalty#straightup#factsonly#worstfeeling#lonely#trustissues#breakups
Ich kann bald nicht mehr :( Sie fehlt mir so sehr... Ich kann keinen Tag überstehen ohne mir ihr Profil anzusehen, ihre Bilder... Immer muss ich mir Audios von ihr anhören und alte Chats lesen :( Und jedes Mal sitze ich dann fast mit Tränen in den Augen da... Ich kann sie nicht vergessen, ich will sie nicht vergessen. Ich möchte nur, dass alles so wird, wie es früher war... Irgendwie muss ich aber damit klar kommen, dass mir dieser simple Wunsch nicht erfüllt wird :( Aber ich schaffe es einfach nicht...
Ich liebe sie zu sehr...