Hi have to say it, I miss you so much my dear. Last time we interacted was May and I have to say I miss you.
Hi! I’m not dead at all, I mean, I’m super alive. I gained 2 kg and yesterday, for the first time in my life, I went to a dietician. He was super kind and helpful and I realized my body is not super okay, I do still have weight to gain but, considering my anorexia, I’m good.
The biggest problem is my body fat. It’s 13% and it should be over 20% to have my period again. He said normal people do have around 26% and the period is not regular anymore at 18%. It’s difficult to say: I need to gain fat too.
I’ll do it...during the next months. For now I’m just happy I’m not risking a heart attack anymore. That makes makes me super happy and proud of I have done. I’m 39 and 7 months ago I was basicslly dead. I was a 34 and I had a day....I remember I was having torubles to remember my birthday day....it scared me to death.
Now I have a lot of energy and I do always feel hungry 😂 I am glad I’ll have a future and that I totally build it with my hands. I came out of the grave with all my strenght.
I want to talk about me, us, people...beautiful, special, unique. Just the way we are.
When I’ll realize how much I am worth it, how much the judgment of other people is NOT important and what I think of myself IS, I’ll be free. I spent too much time worring, I think....I just think I deserve to be free, free my brain, free my soul...eat what I want and look in a very health way. People will not think I am super thin like a model anymore...but I’ll think I am alive like I deserve to be.
I will be to go out with my girlfriend without worring about ‘Oh no I have to eat but what where Omg can’t handle it’ but I can.
A life of ‘Wow I am super super thin ’ is not worth all this pain. Not being afraid to not wake up, not being afraid about my heart stopping.
I am beautiful, special, unique...like you @lilyjcollins.
Thank you for always being a friend of mine in this war, I do really feel you. I just miss you so much and hope you’re happy. ☺️🌸