This is a very dark picture but all #parents know the terror of waking a sleeping child so it was taken surreptitiously while he was sleeping with no flash! This pic is my boy with his favourite new friend RolyBear who is an @achingarmsuk bear. If you’re lucky enough to never have heard of this amazing charity they provide these lovely bears for #midwives to give to parents who leave hospital with empty arms. The charity are amazing and the bears are lovely. Our RolyBear sits on our bed right now when Milo hasn’t poached him and we love him. #achingarms#pregnancyloss#babyloss#latemiscarriage#comfort#loss#griefrelief#grieving#justkeepswimming
I have a confession to make. The last few months I have been letting life happen around me, rather than being an active participant.
Initially I did need a break after letting go of a dream job that very well could have become my career. I was devastated that my chronic health issues were not going away simply because I was "doing the right things". Mental illness is a burden that (like it or not) does affect my ability to function.
So I gave in. I stopped pursuing things, at first simply practicing self care, but then out the fear of failure. I became a passenger in my own life, and not a productive one.
My parents instilled a great thing in me. They taught me that no matter what I did in life, even if it looked nothing like society's idea of success, if I was doing my best and happy, that was enough for them.
It still is sinking in that a lot of people never had that kind ideal instilled in them. Risks were framed positively.
The worst result is that it turns out horribly. You're turned down for that job, that relationship shatters, the car you buy is a lemon... As an anxious person, I really could have had a much more "safe & stable" life up until now; but without the risks I've taken, I would likely be living a life that felt stale. I certainly would have never met my life partner or came out.
As things in my life have entered another stage, I have to get back into the driver's seat. No one can make my life the one I want except me.
Let's make it happen.
**10 WEEKS OUT** - Tracking roughly 2-3 weeks ahead compared to last year’s prep
- Despite macros decreasing & cardio increasing, energy levels are still pretty stable
- Cortisol levels are under control
My coach @izz087_icnpro is a big enthusiast on being as stress-free as possible. We have focused a lot on my mental/emotional state this prep, and I can honestly say I’ve never felt more positive about the progress of my physique thus far. Keen to keep the optimistic juju going throughout the coming weeks ahead so we can pull in with the absolute goods come stage day 🏆 Thanks for putting up with my OTT moments; I know I can be a difficult client at times. 🙃
Special mention to my partner @langers1503 ❤️ You are SUCH an amazing support system! You tell me I’m sexy when I’m curled up in bed sulking about how fat I am. You put up with my hangry mood swings, and still snuggle me even after I’ve snapped at you for, well… nothing. You go above and beyond to help out with Macka, no questions asked – kindy drop-offs/pick-ups, dinners, showers, bedtime stories, the lot. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, but somehow, we manage to do it. I appreciate you so much more than what I can ever express. 😘
I’ve had ALOT of people message me about my @waisttrainer_nzaus waist trainer seen on my snapchat/insta story lately ⏳ I wear mine anywhere between 1-8 hours/day, depending on my movements for the day. It has helped with bettering my posture, keeping my core engaged and also with stiffening up my mummy tummy. I don’t believe waist trainers are for everyone though 🙅🏻♀️ There are plenty of mixed reviews out there, so I would recommend doing some research before deciding to use one.
Sand, sun, sea treasures & smiles. Very #grateful for a few ☀️ days in #avalon thanks to a super generous friend! Perfect place to work on healing. I walked the beach & cried, angry that Meredith will never be there with me again, but also smiled at happy memories of our last 4 summers here together. The thing about time is it never gives you an option to get it back, so spend it wisely & with people who make you feel better. ❤️😘 #summer#missmygirl#beachtherapy#justkeepswimming
One of the main things I want you to understand about grief is that you need to embrace and work through it but it shouldn’t have authority over your life. It is a critical part of your story but it’s not who you are.
Repeat after me: I am not broken and the heavy burdens I carry do not define me. 💛
Now pass it on and tag someone you love who needs this reminder too.
Photo by @asiacrosonphotography
Took time off from packing tonight to get some much needed time with my swim coach. Basically we’ve decided I’m going to back float the whole race 😆
We’re working on me flipping over and back to catch my breath and ease any anxiety...not speed! I’m just not there yet. Tried working on some breast stroke, but I’m awful at it. So awful it’s funny. He’s like, it’s like you’re swimming backwards. Lol. Soooo, I’m just gonna go out there and try not to drown 👍🏼 #justkeepswimming#dontdrown
Random side note: look how latex-y my boobs look 😳😬🤗