Day five.. 5! Can you believe I’m still going strong at five days into healthy eating? Because I can’t, and im feeling more determined than ever 😁🙌 Managing to come in under my daily calorie allowance today again. I had 2 slices brennans be good bread and eggs for breakfast after attempting a bowl of porridge, just wasnt feeling it today. So im shocked iv stayed under my calorie allowance. As you can see iv “exercised” today, this was cleaning! And i was cleaning for a few hours but just dont feel like iv burned that much with just cleaning? So put myself down for a little 30minutes instead 🤣 #mydiet#mydietdiary#justanormalmummy#whoneedstoloseweight#mummytummybegone#helpmeloseweight#healthyeating#exercise#icandothis
Sometimes you just need fried eggs on toast! (Or the threenage version for him which is eggs cut into soldiers with toast squares on the side. Trust me - it’s not worth deviating from this! I learnt that the hard way! 😂👍) #threenagers#lunch#justanormalmummy
Apologies for the quiet spell. Been feeling a bit rubbish this week. Today I booked a photo shoot so we could get some pics of the kids after realising the last photos I have of this little dude were taken when he was 11-months old 🙈😱 maybe it’s the preggo hormones in overdrive, maybe it the miserable weather but I’m full of guilt, snot and so over-emotional. So now I’m feeling much less guilty but pretty skint tbh! But nothing a roast dinner in the pub can’t distract me from eh ;) god knows how I will survive the next 7.5 weeks when I’m already a physical and mental wreck tbh but I’ll do it because I have to (and because I’m planning on rinsing the shit out of my amazon prime account to make me feel better in the meantime) and of course because it will all be worth it when we meet our new little lady ❤️❤️❤️ (and try to take a few more photos of her than the last one 😂) #justanormalmummy#32weekspregnant#sunday#thatface#ohtobethree
#32weekspregnant - and just noticed I was wearing the exact same outfit when I last posted a bump-update! I am nothing if not consistent 😜 x feeling big, feeling heavy, feeling pretty rubbish now if I’m honest... have ordered a bump-band from amazon in the hope I can stop my pelvis from aching so much at the end of each day but mostly I am wondering how much more bloody room this baby needs! Lol x seriously looking forward to getting my uterus back. And occupying myself by ordering Christmas gifts online and then forgetting what I’ve ordered/bought and buying too much for everybody 🙈 oh well... have a good Friday people! #justanormalmummy#32weekspregnant#feelingallofthem
Now baconing myself back to human in Costa 👊👍 managed to fuck up at school by giving the wrong mum a party invite in the playground for a child that wasn’t theirs... so that was nice and awkward! I can only see today getting worse 🤦♀️😂😂 #awesome#baconislife#justanormalmummy
The bags don’t lie... today is going to be LONG. 😴😩
After not being able to get to sleep until gone midnight because someone was letting off NASA-worthy rockets until the early hours, I then had 2.30am and 5am wake-up calls from my smallest - first one due to the cat’s freaking out and breaking into his room, second one from a bad dream and complaining he felt sick. (Please god don’t let him be ill!) Never got back to sleep after the 5am one so feeling beyond terrible with a busy day ahead... Does anyone mind if I cancel Tuesday and start over tomorrow morning?! *yawns* Fuckssakes.
Monday morning is a total knob isn’t it?! I’m really not that great at Mondays (or mornings tbf!) - breakfast is always a rush, there’s too much shouting about teeth-brushing and shoe-finding, someone always needs a poo right before we leave, and my new favourite thing to do is discover I haven’t washed most of the PE Kit and end up doing a ‘baby-wipe-job’ on the worst bits before we eventually make it out of the door...
🙈👍🙄 Yesterday’s roast dinner tins are still all over the side and I have a ton of work to do let alone finally tackling getting ready for the baby I have arriving in 8 weeks (how?! 😱) I can’t really process it all! So I’m not going to. I’m going to eat an entire packet of Cadbury’s fingers and ignore it all... because that’s the grown up thing to do right 🤦♀️😜🤰 #justanormalmummy#toopregnantforthiscrap#monday
Happy Sunday parent-folks 😉 my first novel - ‘Baby Boom!’ Is just £1.99 on kindle at the mo AND has just been updated to include a sneaky-peeky first chapter of the sequel (The Mummy Lessons) so.... grab a bargain if you haven’t yet read it!
And if you have read Baby Boom already, please consider leaving me a review - I get so many lovely messages from folks who’ve read it and loved it, but would love it if some of those words made it onto amazon! Would mean a lot 😘😘 thanks so much in advance xx
Link in bio! 👍👍👍📚 #babyboom#themummylessons#sneakpeek#justanormalmummy#chicklit#womensfiction#fiction#kindle#bargain
EEEEEEKkkkkkk!!! COVER REVEAL!! Been waiting to share this with you all for what feels like forever!! (It’s been a few days but hey 😜😂) can finally reveal the cover of my new book - #themummylessons - due out next year!! What do all think?!? I absolutely love it ❤️❤️❤️ I know it’s early days as it’s not out until March 2019, but anyone who fancies pre-ordering - the link is in my bio, and please come back and tell me so I can thank you personally and feel all warm and awesome inside! (Obvs this could just be the baby squashing a kidney or something but whatever...) Thank you so much to everyone who supports me and made this book a reality! And of course to those who read the first one - Baby Boom! (And if you haven’t read that one yet get the fuck on with it yeah 👍🤰😜) I reckon this one is even better!! #justanormalmummy#themummylessons#fiction#womensfiction#emilymollyliz#whathappenstoGiz ? #chicklit#coverreveal#eeeeeeeekkkk
Mummy’s slightly lame Halloween-tea has included a pizza which we decorated with “pumpkins”, some glow sticks I found at the back of the cupboard, and the pumpkins they carved with granny (thank f*ck for granny and a random left over orange pepper 😂😂) oh and some shop-bought pumpkin treats 👍🎃 eat your heart out Pinterest!
Happy Halloween fellow trick-or-treat-skippers! 😜😂 #justanormalmummy#halloween#ihateit#toopregnantforthisstuff#hurryupchristmas
Mummy realised she probably shouldn’t attempt Halloween pumpkin-carving again after she heard herself saying: “Oh that’s lovely poppet... although shall I do that bit? Maybe let mummy hold that? Ok stop now. Please STOP. Right - I can’t take this anymore. I just need to do the end part! I never said you couldn’t do any of it! I just said your annoying chubby little fingers are getting in the way, it doesn’t look anything like a face and as you’ve spent the last twenty minutes trying to eat glue whilst crying because a seed touched you - I’LL JUST DO THE BLOODY PUMPKIN MYSELF. OK.” 😬😭😜🤦♀️ #craftsarentforeveryone#happyhalloween#justanormalmummy#whenishalftermover#mummyoftheyear
Today is a total f*ck it day. Kids are off until Wednesday and tbh I have run out of mummy-steam!
Suffering from some strange pain in my pelvis this morning - not a great night’s sleep because of it, and defo don’t feel like moving too much.
Half term has actually flown by - we haven’t done anything particularly exciting but there’s been plenty of getting out on the scooters, beach, playground and a few parties, play dates and lots of yummy food so I feel like I’ve done my best - especially as I’m on deadline with my next book edit again and have the current girth of a wheely-bin 😉 somehow still feel guilty for attempting a day at home though... Looking through Instagram and Facebook at everyone on holiday, or at Disneyland, or at theme parks and big days out is making me feel bad (Not that I could do any of that even if I tried! Lol) - all we’ve managed so far today is quavers, YouTube and pyjamas 🙈 I know I’m just being a big hormonal pregnant dick.
I shall stop the dick behaviour right now and get back to my crisps and dressing gown - guilt free 👊🤰👍 Sometimes we all need a f*ck it day right?! #justanormalmummy#fuckitday#oneforthefuckitbucket#humpday#halftermisnearlyover#ifiwasonholidayidbeinstagrammingthecrapoutofit
Sunday pub vibes... the 5am start (thanks clock change) has meant an impromptu roast dinner out as neither of us could face cooking today! I’ve brought everything I could carry to entertain the kids as I just want to eat my food hot with both hands and not with a threeager on my lap forcing me to make dinosaur noises :/ #nevergonnahappen#myTRexisverygoodillhaveyouknow#justanormalmummy
As close as I could get to a photo of them together! We’re off to a Halloween birthday party ;) the boy has a Halloween costume but decided to be spider man and I don’t have the strength to argue 🤦♀️😂 the girl is into it at least! #justanormalmummy#halloween
The #halfterm poem
It was Friday of half-term
And all through the house,
Not a child was stirring,
They'd all finally knocked out...
Mummy was exhausted,
It'd been quite a week;
She'd done activity after activity,
Despite barely any sleep.
She'd made breakfasts, dinners and lunches,
Done crafts and given into slime. 🤦♀️
Gone swimming, scooting and to playgrounds,
And had some awesome family-time.
There were cuddles & Facebook posts,
Filled with so much laughter.
(Not that social media showed
The shit that followed after...)
There’d been tantrums and meltdowns,
Threenage-stand-offs that had no meaning...
Between crying, bickering, door-slamming,
But everyone was still breathing.
They’d made it to the weekend,
Everyone was alive and that’s what mattered.
So right now she thought FUCK IT.
And got totally twatted. 🍷👊😜 #friday#halfterm#survived#welldonemummy#imnotreallygettingtwattedbutimwithyouinspirit#justanormalmummy
Picnic tea and a movie after a day out on the scooters. I’m totally finished! The limit of my powers was sandwiches, mini cheddars and cucumber but the kids love it. I’ll also be heading for a nap the second daddy finishes work for the day - a day on my feet is too much these days! Not ashamed to admit it! Looking forward to school/pre-school starting up again next week just so I can get back to daytime naps 👍😓😴 #30weekspregnant#justanormalmummy#naprequired
Dinner for one tonight while his big sis sleeps out at her bestie’s x he’s not sure about solo dining tbh! Keeps asking when she’s coming back which is making my heart ache a bit - amazing how they can bicker and annoy the absolute crap out of each other every day when they’re actually a bit lost when the other one isn’t there ❤️❤️ so tonight he gets his favourite tea, his eggs cut into soldiers (don’t ask) and toast with the crusts off... so it’s not all bad right 👍😘 #justanormalmummy#siblings#theyloveeachotherreally
Putting actual real make-up on! Heading out for a drink (a boring gin-free one 🙄) with my preggo-yoga group tonight. I’m shattered and having just run out of any foundation I had left that in any way resembles my skin tone I’ve just plastered my face in a free sample of spray-on-tights so I’m really very iridescent right now 😂😂😂 but I’ve no doubt they’re all just as knackered as me so I’m pulling it together, and me and my sparkly face are off for an orange juice and a natter about pelvic pain and leaky boobs 😘🤰👍 have a great Tuesday parent people! #justanormalmummy#29weekspregnant#sparklyface#facefail
Sometimes you just need a bath... (which accidentally falls over bedtime and may result in you missing rows about toothpaste/pyjama choice and the standard storytime drama... oh well) 😜🤰 #29weekspregnant#justanormalmummy
Day 1 of half term....
An hour long argument at 6am this morning about who got to play with a plastic piece of crap found under a bed that came off a CBeebies magazine in 2014... and a refusal to eat anything other than melon. Fucking excellent. #standard#halfterm#justanormalmummy
Mummies! Can I ask your honest opinion from anyone who’s used these products - are they worth it?? It’s £75 for the set 😳 so I just want to be sure! Or would you recommend just the spritz for bitz spray as that’s prob the one I’m thinking I’ll need... let me know! Thank you 👍🤰 #askinstagram#justanormalmummy#29weekspregnant
Look! An actual crib! With just over 10 weeks to go I finally decided to start getting prepared ❤️ starting to feel a little bit like we are actually having a baby now 🤰😊 wish these had been around when I had my other two! #justanormalmummy#imhavingababyyouknow#29weekspregnant @snuzuk
The #InternalMummyMonologue ... 4pm: It’s Friday - I’m having wine.
4.37pm: How can it be time to feed them again?? I’m sure I only did it a few hours ago ffs... right, I’m gonna need more wine for this.
5.15pm: PLEASE JUST EAT ONE SLICE OF CUCUMBER ELSE MUMMY WILL CRY. DO YOU WANT TO SEE THAT DO YOU!!?? DO YOOOOUUU!
5.17pm: *opens more wine*
5.18pm: ok fuck it just have a yoghurt then.
6.10pm: *puts Adele on*
6.15pm: I’m still fun right? I should go out. Not just out - bloody out-out. I’m texting people. Lots of people. Everyone will want to go out!
6.20pm: Ok... all my friends have children and are already in their pyjamas drinking wine... shit.
7pm: That’s it! I’m going out on my own! I can do this. Daddy can stay in with the kids... I’m going to party like it’s the early 2,000s and Hooch, East17 and halter neck tops are still cool. I can do this! Spanx and gin will see me through! I CAN DO THIS!!
7.30pm: Although... I am quite tired... plus I’m not sure I have any nice clothes... and those shoes do look quite painful. And by the time I’ve showered and done my hair and make-up it’ll be pretty late really now I think about it... this face is gonna take serious work and I’m just not sure I can deal with that level of commitment right now tbf.
8pm: Fuck it. I’m off to get into my new PJs, eat some cold pizza and watch celebs go dating on catch up. I’ll go out tomorrow or something.
8.04pm: (I probably won’t.)
8.05pm: passes out in pizza.
This is me “Babies and Burpees” thought I would say hello 👋🏻, I’d love to hear where you are all from.... this is also my @ktburns08 and without her this morning I would have failed majorly at parenting. I had put the kid in non-school uniform when it was a normal day & the other kid in uniform when it was blatantly non-uniform day 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻.... one stop off at Kates house on route and kids are in appropriate clothing for the day (please no one tell my son he is head to foot in girls clothes🤦♀️) #justanormalmummy#wellnearly#dontthinkanyoneelsehasdonethis #🤦♀️
#29weekspregnant ! Apparently harbouring a butternut squash now - not too sure how I feel about that... 🍆 (they only had an aubergine emoji) But pretty happy to be 11 weeks away from D-day. Off to the docs shortly to get a prescription for iron tablets as I’m slightly anaemic according to my latest bloods but weirdly I’m probably feeling the least tired I have my entire pregnancy!? Will be glad for a lie-in tomorrow as the husband will have returned and up for a chilled weekend now that it’s actually starting to feel a bit like autumn ;) might even start my Christmas shopping! From my sofa in my pants on the amazon app. Obvs. Have a good Friday people 👍❤️🤰 #justanormalmummy#actuallymademybed#wheresmymedal
And just like that... my 4-week break from writing is over as I am cracking back on with the next set of edits for my next book! Eek! 📚👍❤️❤️ It was pretty blissful but I’ve actually been itching to get going again and have missed working on it. Think some of it is down to that weird preggo-anxiety you get where you constantly feel like you’re missing out! (Not just me right?!) In my first pregnancy I used to scroll through Facebook and see all my mates on nights out and cry (sounds so silly saying that our loud now!) but with this pregnancy it’s more work focussed... I follow a lot of very successful bloggers and writers and it’s hard not to feel like I’m always a few steps behind. I think I feel the pressure with this book even more so than the last to really make a success of it (not that I actually know how to do that outside of continually screaming at people to buy it on my socials 😂😂) and at #29weekspregnant I feel like I’ve only got a few short weeks before I’m going to want time to rest (and pop a baby out and stuff. Ya know) so my head is an emotional place right now!!
Just gonna do my best and try to remember that all those folks I look up to were where I am once, and that even though it doesn’t feel like it - I’m probably that person to someone else too. 😘
The next photo is me eating a banana in bed just to prove I am capable of eating something other than chocolate and frazzles 😂👍🤰 #justanormalmummy#themummylessons#29weekspregnant#book2#backtoit#thesequel#fiction#womensfiction#outin2019#preggolife#authorlife
die Nacht durchwacht als Mama und gewartet und gewartet und versucht, trotzdem einzuschlafen, weil das ja alles normal ist und ich mir keine Sorgen machen soll, aber mein Körper wollte dem Geist einfach nicht gehorchen und so war ich wach, bis ich den Schlüssel im Schloss hörte um 3:30 Uhr.
außerdem kommen ab 1 Uhr morgens die bösen Nachtgeister und Dämonen, die an meinem müden, wehrlosen Herz knabbern und die Seele mit Feuer foltern...aber das wollt ich hier nur am Rande erwähnen. ich hab sie bekämpft mit Gleichgültigkeit, das nächste Mal schlage ich zurück.
What a bloody rubbish Sunday.
I fell asleep in my glasses and the arm snapped off. Had a terrible nights sleep thanks to the torrential rain, and have spent the entire morning attempting to limit the disaster that is a flooded basement in my new house 😩😩😩 would anyone mind if I went back to bed and pretended none of it actually happened...?! On the upside - granny has offered to cook us Sunday lunch so I’ll take that! She mentioned something about roast potatoes and homemade apple crumble so that will make all right with the world 👍 hope your Sunday’s started off better than mine! (Feel free to all rush over to amazon and buy loads of copies of my book to cheer me up and stuff...😜) #justanormalmummy#fml#applecrumbleforthewin#soggybasementisnottheone
And BOOM! Just like that - I have arrived at the #thirdtrimester 🎉 and have already celebrated with chocolate biscuits 👍👊 Certainly feeling all of the very much pregnant-ness and looking forward to colder weather so I can stop waddling around in acrylic jumpers like a sweaty mess! 🤦♀️😂 I am a bit scared about getting much bigger but there’s not much I can do about that now is there! Except rub lots of stretch mark oil in and stop eating quite so many biscuits... (might just do the oil bit)
So here I am #28weekspregnant and looking all of them (and prob a few more!) but happy to be on the home straight 😘 and here’s an extract from my first book ‘Baby Boom!’ on some of my current feelings 😂😂 (you can buy it on amazon and everything you know... just saying... *whistles and waddles off again*) #justanormalmummy#28weekspregnant#babyboom#letsdothis#ishouldreallymakemybed#butiwont
Feeling TIRED today after a terrible night’s sleep (not helped by a 4am wake-up call from this one 😩) but it’s nothing a bacon roll from Costa can’t solve 😘 plus I start preggo-yoga tonight so I’m getting out of bedtime! #touchme 😜😂🤰 #27weekspregnant#justanormalmummy
Lovely couple of days away but it was oh so nice to come home to cuddles and chips last night ❤️ bed invaders from 6am but didn’t mind this morning... although the argument about who was sitting next to me (whilst they were both sitting next to me) did prompt me to have a quick look on secret escapes... 😂 #happytobehome#justAnormalmummy#bedinvaders
Looking and feeling fresh after an afternoon of relaxing and pampering 💜💜💜 signing off for a couple of days to detox digitally and literally, and spend some time with my lovely man-lump of a husband for his birthday 😘😘 so nice to feel like us for a couple of days, and not just mummy and daddy - I actually think it is good for the soul! Feeling very lucky we have awesome grandparents who give us the opportunity to miss our small folk. Can’t wait to see their little faces when we return, but for now I’m indulging in MEEEEEEEEEE (oh and him a bit and stuff, whatever 😜) see you on the other side parent-folk! Happy Friday 😘😘 #justanormalmummy#nightoff#27weekspregnant#andrelax