Shout out to those who rely on something outside of themselves to navigate pain, infection, and mysterious ailments.
I’ve been sober for almost half my life. Surrendering to medication has not come easy. But at some point I broke inside. I could no longer suffer or withstand unbearable bouts of pain.
I decided I could trust myself to make good decisions regarding my body and health.
I spend a great deal advocating for myself.
Finding traditional and alternative providers takes a lot of time, energy and resources.
I want to normalize (appropriate) medication use for those in recovery, and particularly those of us who live w #chronicillness#chronicpain
Listen to me carefully- normalizing is not glorifying nor do I live in a blur or distraction and illusions.
The indoctrination of recovery is harmful to marginalized folks in this way. It’s an all or nothing rhetoric with failure always defaulting to “user error”.
An impossible standard I upheld for a verrrry long time until my body started to crumble in ways I could no longer manage or withstand solo.
Self sufficiency is the lie.
Going totally drug free and bucking the system is ultimate privilege in action.
I want to normalize a mix of pharmaceutical use and natural alternatives as folks CHOOSE for themselves.
I deserve to not suffer.
I can trust myself.
I got what I needed (medically) and I’m grateful for the resources to do so.
I love myself and want to heal.
I will heal.
Rest is on the docket. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Let me explain.
Time n time again I’ve heard dangerous rhetoric that essentially implies or demands:
>>> Those with a skill are obligated to offer it to others. The message underneath the message is that to keep your skills/talents/gifts to yourself is a crime, and certainly amoral. <<<
I most readily hear this in sales trainings as a justification for selling xyz as a means of justification for "selling without selling your soul" and not infringing on one's sense of integrity.
I also know it well from the 12 step recovery culture. My experience has shown me that spiritual principles (like being of service) can be weaponized (internally and externally) totally perverting the original sentiment— creating real harm to the psyche.
But I call a party foul.
Just because you have a skill or talent doesn't mean you are duty bound to offer it, sell it, or volunteer it.
If it cannot be done sustainably this notion becomes even MORE imperative.
For caregivers IE those oriented towards helping to fulfill the needs of others (loved ones, children, parents, patients, neighbors, etc...) demands and messages like this really hurt us because they are deeply and unconsciously internalized.
Ideally, you can start noticing the demands placed upon you AND then also notice your choice to accept or reject.
Choices and opportunities come n go and your response to each one is free to be decided in that very moment.
How you responded last time need not dictate how you respond this time.
Also? Caregivers need extensive recalibration time. Depending on your constitution (introversion, extroversion, personal interests and access to resources) *HOW* to fill your bucket looks different from person to person.
You are free to draw the line in the sand. You are not a resource, your human being.
As a #highlysensitiveperson I’ve come to understand transitions are tough. Not just cognitively and emotionally but energetically. My nervous system responds to the shifts in energy dynamics of the everyday routine and seasonal changes in an abrupt manner. It often feels like I’m playing catch up on soothing, settling, and deciphering WTH is going on.
Was it solar flare? A disembodied spirit? An internal trigger meltdown? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don’t know if this is a fact but intuitively I’ve always thought early trauma creates hyper vigilant, hyper sensitive adults. As a matter of survival our ability to read the room, tap into the pulse of dynamics at play in a group or room of people, scanning for danger and tuning into the suffering of others. My point? It’s automatic much like breathing.
This goes beyond being an empath and being able to feel others pain. There are deeper components at play. A radio antenna both receives and transmits a signal. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#highlysensitive folks have an important role in society. I’d argue our existence is inextricably linked with others in a way that limits our individualism. No matter the career/family/community we occupy we are who we are. There we are tapping into the collective winds of #consciousness unable to turn a blind eye to the disruptions and unresolved business and yet we deserve and need to flourish in order to sustain.
Transitions remind me to sloooooooooooow down and put any agenda on hold to address only the true pressing and immediate needs. Sometimes those needs are mine. Often though they are the needs of my children and occasionally my partner or close kin/friend. There is absolutely a hierarchy of addressing needs and knowing this allows me to respond appropriately.
Transitions are a time when needs become magnified.
Thankfully though, transitions are temporary.
Once the dust settles the normal pace will resume or we acclimate to a new normal. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Easy feel good answers/solutions are just that. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
They are sleeper pills meant to lull you out of the complex, nuanced human condition.
I mean for centuries (who knows how long really) we’ve struggled to create inner peace, harmony amongst ourselves, and understanding between each other.
Take fear and anxiety for example.
These emotions are powerful and valuable.
They contain a wealth of information we often don’t know how to access it.
All emotions serve us.
Science has proven our cells carry trauma and generational memories as far as 14 generations back.
Stop and think about these implications.
I imagine our DNA carries memories wayyyyy beyond that time/space but we have yet to discover it.
So that ripple of concern, grief, or rage is most likely magnified by echos from the past.
If this is true, which I believe it is, how can this influence what we think, do, and say?
Sure I am my own person but I am also the combination of so many things, people, past/present...
I cannot help but think back on the days when Elkhart Tolle wrote a book about the New Earth and how warm n fuzzy it was and then I think about how that book is bullshit and provided zero value to me then and certainly not today.
This business of dreaming a new world cannot happen in silos of selfishness, savior-hood, or superiority. It happens when we can get in the trenches of our mistakes, shortcoming, and failures, and also access our inherent brilliant creative potential.
You can’t teach this. It must be directly experienced. This is why sharing personal stories and truth is so powerful and important because anyone at anytime can wake up and get ‘it’ that next important piece of the puzzle. #invoketheinvisible#consciousevolution#integration#gritandgrace#thirdeye#intuitiveliving#healing#healinghappens#healer#newearth#uplevel#psyche#beinghuman#psychic#intuitiondevelopment#3rdeye#sacred#alchemy#seer#natureismychurch
I talk a lot about cultivating strength to sit in discomfort, now more than ever I must walk my talk. In case you've been living under a rock, we've got work to do. Race issues are the primary issues of our time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don't know about you but when I die I wanna know I put skin in the game making life better for us, collectively, not just me and mine. This work starts at home and with me.
I'm not a role model or an anti-racism educator. I offer my experience as a mirror because truth serves.
>>>> There are two major opportunities available right now.
First @rachel.cargle is hosting a #dothework 30-day challenge. Sign up for it using the link in her profile. Her work is brilliant and sure to illuminate.
Second Layla Saad @wildmysticwoman is hosting an IG challenge over on her account. I recommend you watch the IGTV videos and follow #meandwhitesupremacy .
Thirdly (not time sensitive/it’s on going) Sharyn Holmes of @gutsygirlart has the most extensive/comprehensive reading resource list. I hope you'll follow that link in her profile, download it AND then put it to good use.
I'll be following up shortly in the comments with the answer to the #meandwhitesupremacy prompt. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
FYI one of the indispensable tools I consistently rely on while doing this work, or ANY triggering process work, is utilizing my dedicated debrief buddy. We hold each other accountable, share resources, and process privately.
As Layla says, (I’m paraphrasing) ‘ my level of personal discomfort PALES in comparison to the lived experience of BIPOC folks, it is but a drop in the bucket’. ⚡️update⚡️ I’ll be placing each prompt/daily reflection in the comment thread.
I have a love/hate relationship w the word “psychic”
🔮 For starters I’m not a fan of categories or titles, never have been. While I understand the value and function of them there is way toooooo much room for misunderstanding, inaccurate assumptions, and failure to compute.
🔮 I’m not your neighborhood tarot reader. I love the rich symbolism of tarot and oracle cards but my craft rarely employs them. I turn to cards when you need external validation or a different avenue to information.
🔮 My primary routes to psychic information are through waking visions, prophetic dreams, 3rd eye visions, body sensations, and direct dialogue with spirit allies and the dead. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🔮 of course I love using the power of intuition and psychic vision to help folks claim healing and forge a new path but like with most things it takes a great deal of bandwidth, focus, and care to nurture and sustain. Also this work often involves shit like dealing w dark, oppressive energies and entities. Not fun people.
🔮 I less love working directly with the dead, or earth bound spirits as I call them. These are those who’ve died tragic, untimely deaths and have unfinished business who as I see it are clogging up the winds of consciousness. This is one of my karmic responsibilities. It’s doesn’t pay well 🤪
There’s more to say on the matter but I’m tired. Check out the intro HIYA video to meet me.
I’ve noticed the glamourization of being a healer and intuitive. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⚡️ I’m sure you’ve heard healers are conduits for #energy and don’t actually #heal other people, people heal themselves. This is true but what isn’t being said is that we do directly engage in warfare and negotiations w malicious/menacing/oppressive energies and entities regularly and that shit will wear you out.
⚡️ I’ve never ever been a love n light kind of gal, although that certainly holds its place in the scheme of things. My sensitivity and intuition have never allowed me to turn a blind eye to harmful elements at play. You see we are so powerful w our words and thoughts that they are often obtrusive psychic attacks recklessly sent out into the world.
⚡️ The amount of support and information available beyond the veil is mind blowing. But if you really want to see and prepare and adjust you must be willing to hear things that shake up your understanding of life and your world view.
⚡️ Sometimes messages soothe the soul, other times they jolt us out illusion
⚡️ The #seer sees inter-looping circuits and dimensions simultaneously while also showing up as a fallible, imperfect human being- it’s quite the wild ride
⚡️ oh and the secrets we hold- I tend to air on the side of not sharing things and stories because it’s so personal, delicate, and revealing that to speak of such things publicly is inappropriate but that’s just my point of view
If I’m not vigilant about my curating sphere of influence I pay the price ...
⚡️ #highlysensitive people are more naturally attuned to trauma and suffering - I think bc most of us have experienced both and it’s left a lasting mark on how we perceive and interact w the 🌎
⚡️#hsp have the depth and ability to hold many realities at once and identify (to varying degrees) with each layer
⚡️these two realities mean we must treat our #joy as if it were as important as food, water, and ☀️ because IT IS
⚡️you can both be in a deep process and protect your joy
💋✌️⚡️ #invoketheinvisible#mamabear 🐻 #fiercekindness#traumainformed#powerfulwomen#sensitivity#sensitiveandstrong
Some days I can take on the world others I wanna be low key and in “slug mode” as my friend Laura Gates says. Both modes serve. Today I lean into rest to support upcoming commitments and engagements ⚡️#invoketheinvisible#restisrevolutionary 🐾
Being of service is a pillar of being a good human.
For me the requirements are that I give selflessly, without expectation and simply for the sake of giving back because I can.
Over the years I’ve had formal service positions on committees, visited prisons and treatment centers providing a message of hope and unconditional acceptance regardless of addiction and the choices we make in slavery of it, and visited the elderly who’ve been tucked away and written off.
You don’t have to have grand, formal agreements to give back though.
Now I have zero official commitments except to the earth and her inhabitants.
I pick up trash off the ground when I see it. Doesn’t matter who put it there, I am an earth keeper 🌏
I also put money behind causes that I believe in like dismantling racial injustices and supporting women.
Now more than ever is the time to: ✌️speak up when you see injustices in your community and require that people be held accountable for their actions/choices ✌️expand your sphere to include exposure to how others are experiencing life and ask yourself what can you do to make a difference (see link in profile for resources) ✌️cut back on disposable plastics and over-the-top conveniences that have severe trash implications ✌️reduce toxins you put in your mouth and down the drain because both have a delicate ecosystem
Happy earth day 🌏 my earthlings #earthday2018#recoveryhappens#invoketheinvisible
^ Why I’m rolling my eyes when people preach law of attraction.
No foolery here.
Yes! You can attract things you want.
Yes! Focus pays off and creates momentum.
But kinks and road blocks and setbacks are a reality.
The real skill to develop is keeping your #spirits strong, resilient, and in tune w the flow so you can adapt appropriately 💋✌️ #invoketheinvisible
I know grief. I know illness. I know suffering. I know dying. What I don’t know as well? #joy >>> Here is one reason why I stand 1000% behind cultivating joy for ourselves. 💀 For me? It’s a matter of life n death. It’s like a foreign language. But with the desire to learn it and speak it and never ever forcing it or pretending, progress slllowly but surely emerges. For a solid two years my focus has been JOY - nothing happens over night (unless it does!) ha 😜 🌈 #heartintelligence#huntjoy#healinghappens#invoketheinvisible
I take hydration seriously.
As someone who lives with the reality of chronic illness/pain water can be the difference between "making it" or "breaking it." When I caught the winter plague this year, thanks to my kids, each time I swallowed I felt a million tiny stabbing knives. Naturally, I minimized the frequency of doing so.
Several days steamrolled into a flare-up. While my illness eventually subsided, I was facing a considerable uptick in whole body pain, and it was here to stay.
It's a good thing I talk to angels because they communicated ultra clearly that I was dehydrated.
I balked at the notion, believing it had to be more difficult than that but a quick hand hydration test (Swipe to see it in action) indicated hydration was needed.
I’m sharing about how I committed to a hydration reboot because I’ve found it has a noticeable impact on pain. >>>> Your Hydration Reboot<<<<< 1 identify water intake goal
2 set yourself up for success
3 commit to habit, track progress
4 notice what shifts
For full deets, execution plan, and FAQ follow quick link to bio.
#voodamins#wellnesshacks you can do #invoketheinvisible#waterislife
I’ve been reading a lot of articles lately covering the epidemic of opioid addiction and how with it’s spread into suburbia, levels of concern are on the rise. All I see is trauma. Trauma preceding addiction. Trauma in the addiction itself. Trauma in violence. Trauma in underserved, overlooked and undervalued communities. Edna Chavez spoke truth about trauma at the #marchforourlives and its insidious nature (watch the YouTube vid) and SEE clearly.
Back to the opioid crises- I always think of the first responders, family, friends, and strangers who find those who’ve overdosed. That too is traumatizing.
I was a PRO in the death trade #hospice and coming face to face with someone who was dying from an overdose (a non-natural cause) is life changing.
While I waited for 911 responders to show up I struggled to clear this woman’s airway. Her face blue. Eyes bulging. Unresponsive. I felt my soul leave my body in response to this violence.
She did comeback to life. I was able to provide breath and the paramedics provided narcan.
As for me? It’s taken a minimum of a year to deactivate the trauma body and relax back into myself.
People need compassion not punishment. Also? We all need to learn to recognize the signs and symptoms of #trauma and unlearn dysfunctional behaviors. This is our life’s work as humans.
Xoxo 💋 #healinghappens#waitforit#invoketheinvisible
I don’t know about you but for me #joy is not a natural state- I have had to (and continue to) rewire my circuitry for an orientation of joy and #peacefulness . Giving myself total and complete permission to feel joy and enjoy it (pun intended) has been crucial. Most #hsp#empaths have a history of trauma causing us to be suspect of joy or the possibility there of. But I declare let us experience joy - if only for a moment ♥️ #invoketheinvisible
In struggling to understand and accept #chronicillness as well as embracing my inner coconut 🥥 I have HAD to give myself permission to construct a life that prioritizes pleasure, joy, fun and good health. Trauma doesn’t disappear from our cells but we can recalibrate ourselves for a better, more integrated life that doesn’t simply run the same ole loop.
Xoxo 💋 #invoketheinvisible#healing#wellness
If only I could go back in time and and talk to my 18 year old self who was desperately lost and empty searching for meaning in the “wrong” places, to the girl whose body was “ideal” but never felt comfortable in her own skin. Here I am alllllmost 35 wearing a two piece and feeling good in my own skin. I don’t want to be anybody else but me to the x power. I listen to my body every second of the day. Turns out she doesn’t like most of the food available to us today and revolts at the tiniest of assaults but she is strong, resilient, and soft as ever. I work hard to stay in my body versus floating off into the cosmos. I prefer to live here, in the now, just as it is. ♥️✌️🌈 #invoketheinvisible
Better yet? They cost ZERO dollars.
Did you know your heart has its own form of intelligence?
Did you know the ♥️ is the laaaaaast thing to give out when we die?
Try working with your heart circuit each and every day. Start with the toroidal field Power Up! Tutorial on YouTube 💋
Best water bottle ever. Seriously.
I take hydration super seriously. I’ve learned chronic dehydration has played a role in chronic pain (for me) so I have to have water bottle I love.
I’ve tried em all. @takeyausa wins all day long #bestlidever
It’s got a smaller drinking opening AND a larger one for good cleaning! It’s metal, temperature friendly and beautiful.
3 of these a day keeps me well hydrated and happy 🌈 #voodamins wellness hacks you can do #invoketheinvisible
Oooh also? Painting my #nails bring me happiness and #joy#huntjoy
This is a hand illustration of my bandwidth. About 80% of my energy and focus goes towards my health and wellness with the remaining 20% allotment towards people I love and work projects. It is what is is. I don’t pretend otherwise. Eventually my bandwidth will expand but until then 🌱🌀🌈 #invoketheinvisible#likeavitaminforyoursoul
wanna participate in A Great Water Experiment? I’m putting together a fun way for you to ingest and anchor your intentions for 2018. I’ll be sending it to my mailing list in the near future. interested? Join via link in bio. #invoketheinvisible#likeavitaminforyoursoul
I’m the gal you bring your broken heart to.
I’m the gal you tell your secrets to.
I’m the gal who catapults into the heart of the matter and helps you shift.
I’m the gal who reminds you of your brilliance and goodness no matter how hidden it is at the moment.
I’m the gal who takes your weird and mirrors it back 1000%. I’ll be sharing more and more of my artwork as a teaching tool.
But you’ll have to tune in and look past the glimmer of the rainbow.
I promise that behind this blazing beam of color is a badass m*ther f*cker who don’t mess around.