This month seems to be hitting me a little harder than most. Maybe because I’m tired of waiting. Maybe because I’m tired of pushing away the tears and putting my best face forward. Maybe because the glaring reality of needing to embark on a costly adventure that we can’t really afford is growing more apparent. But whatever it is, today sucks and today is hard.
Did you miss my local class last month? Don't miss this one!
Are you thinking about trying to get pregnant soon or in the midst of fertility testing or treatment? I'll be talking all things nutrition & fertility at this one-hour class at the Kittery Adult Ed Center on October 29th at 6 PM!
Keto, Paleo, Mediterranean, Vegan, Macro Counting...which is best for fertility? I'll be clearing up the confusion and presenting the latest evidence behind nutrition recommendations and supplementation for optimal fertility. Partners are welcome (they need some nutrition help, too!)
Link to sign up in my profile!
Take a look in the mirror. Really look. What do you see?
I see dark circles which weren’t there 4 months ago.
I see dry, grey skin, in desperate need of some love & care.
I see lines around my eyes & on my forehead, worsening as each month passes.
I see shoulders held high & tense.
I see a woman I no longer recognise.
I see the whites in my eyes, clearer & more determined than ever.
I see a chin still held high.
I see a person who has known pain & is using that pain for strength.
I see someone more determined than ever before to go get their dream.
I see a fighter, a warrior, a queen.
I see the scars. I wear them proud.
What do you see?
We’ve been waiting 2 1/2 months for this appointment today, but we’ve been waiting 2 1/2 years for the next steps that will follow. I’m trying to find the words to express how I’m feeling, but I honestly don’t know.
Please, before you give your advice, your “stay positives”, your “try not to be stressed”, and any other tips you may think we might want to hear, please be very careful. We’ve had 3 failed IUI’s, I’ve been on months of hormones, I’ve done acupuncture, essential oils, altered my workouts, and many other things that most people don’t know about. I’ve been poked and prodded, and cried silently on the floor countless times. Please be cautious when giving your two cents, I can’t tell you the guilt that comes when someone says to try ___, and it’s something we haven’t done. We know it is usually coming from a gentle place, but if you only knew the emotions that go along with infertility, you may stay silent.
Today I’m looking for hope. I’m asking for prayer. I’m holding onto what I have. Jus and I appreciate you all on this journey with us, and we love you for it.
And just like that, a month has already gone by since we've started keto! The best thing about keto is that it has significantly helped with my insulin resistance and kickstarted a period naturally (after 5 days of starting keto, 3 months after my last one!) I've been reading so many success stories of keto helping so many women with PCOS conceive (even naturally after a long run with fertility drugs and treatments!) and I'm really hoping I can one day share my own success story. It's not even about losing weight anymore, although that is an added benefit and something that we are going to continue to work on. It's about doing what we can in our power to give ourselves the best chance of creating our baby. There's really NO ounce in my body that is tempted or has any desire to cheat. Goodbye sugar, goodbye starch, goodbye (most) carbs. I don't need you. EYES ON THE PRIZE. 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻
#pcosphotochallenge Day 2 - When I was diagnosed... I honestly wasn’t surprised. Luckily I had heard of PCOS before and had a very strong suspicion. I matched up with almost every single symptom. For years I didn’t know what was up with me and why I was broken because all my friends functioned normally. When I got engaged and went to go get my IUD, they asked me when my last period was. It had been well past a year and so they had me do an endometrial biopsy. I honestly think back to then and wonder why I wasn’t further investigated for infertility problems? I know I had blood work done but I never heard anything from it. I remember sitting on the couch and finding @elliemecham and @jaredmecham and their vlogs... she was talking about her fertility issues she’s faced and she said something about PCOS and my gut flipped. I knew that’s exactly what I had. I studied and sure enough. All the pieces came together. Thanks to E&J and their willingness to share, I finally knew... so they day I was told I had PCOS I honestly wasn’t shocked. I was relieved to finally know with a surety that this was what was happening and now I knew a little more clearly what my options were. But even though I knew beforehand, I still remember being sad. Because it was a conformation that I was indeed broken... I stayed hopefully as I found an amazingly huge and supportive community of beautiful women going through exactly what I was going through. I did do some retail therapy and bought some comfort food (shout out to the provera they prescribed me the day I found out). But I am so grateful to Ellie for sharing her story and being open, you helped me, and I hope I in turn can help someone else by sharing my story. ❤️
How many of you start a "diet" in time to get that summer bod and then fall off the wagon when fall weather hits because you can just cover up in big loose sweaters so there's no reason to be healthy? There's also no reason to start a health journey with the holidays coming up, right? Used to be 🙋. Health is not just 3 months out of the year. It's EVERYDAY for the whole year. We work so hard at the beginning of the year, fall off, and then have to start alllll over again..isn't it exhausting? 😣 I'm so glad I broke that cycle. Are you ready to break that crazy, exhausting cycle? To feel good, have energy, reach your health goals, and still enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and not have to start all over again!? I'm taking 🖑 ladies who are ready to break that cycle and reach their health goals! Get support and motivation from other ladies working towards similar goals! Want more info on my upcoming bootcamp? Message me!
#Repost @ut_infertility_resource with @get_repost .
So excited to involved with this great event coming up next weekend! Link in profile...and join us for amazing presentations, lunch, great vendors, and some incredible giveaways!!!
I watched @griefunfolding stories last night and I’m so grateful that she found the courage to share. She said ‘it’s okay to grieve’ and it resonated with me and stayed with me. I say that to my clients all the time, but I also have to give myself permission to grieve as My grief which might be deeper than others which might be slower than others ... 🧡🧡 .
Grief is a human experience and I think we should all learn to grieve and lean into it more - I think we would heal on a much deeper level. ✨✨✨ love, Jenn xo
Use the mute feature in instagram when you need it.
The pregnancy announcement of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry is wonderful news (although they did announce it on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day - really, they did) but it got me thinking about how hurtful posts like this can be for those with infertility and miscarriage. .
Social media is full of baby announcements, gender reveal videos, baby showers, and on and on and on.
These are momentous, wonderful events to share but when you’re struggling to complete your family - it can feel like everyone else has what you desire most in the world..
Use the mute feature in instagram when you need it. That friend who is blasting baby bump photos is a wonderful, dear friend and you are truly happy for her - BUT use the mute (temporarily) for self preservation. You aren’t ‘unfollowing’ her or 'unfriending' her - you just need a break. .
To mute someone, tap on the three-dot icon at the top-right corner of their post. A list of options will show up, one of which is Mute. You'll then have the option to mute only photo posts, only story posts, or both. Alternatively, you can mute someone by visiting their profile, or with a long press on a story...
SHARING || This is my reality ✨✨
A rainbow box + A photo -
So if a photo of
is making you
let’s learn to hold
space for all
I get the anxiety
I get the fears
I get the self preservation
I have been pregnant after loss
It’s not easy - OMG !
But please know that as I share and not hide my truth and
love for my daughter
and thus allow others to share their love and FEEL less alone
it doesn’t mean
that you will experience the same
It doesn’t mean that it will happen to you
I truly believe that we all need to learn to hold space for each other and in that is where the healing process digs deep.
In time ...
hold space for pregnant women
hold space for newborn babies
hold space for parents who have lost
hold space for babies who have died
respect ALL space AND ALL needs
It’s a world that we all live in
And a world we all need to make sense of 🧡
I guess what I’m saying is - we all have our challenges and it’s in the space and respect we hold for each other and what we choose for ourselves that allows for healing and living. Choose to share or not. Choose to read or not. Choose to unplug or not ✨✨✨✨-
I’m sharing this here because I want you to know that we do not need to feel guilty sharing or scared to share or not to share our memories - even if they are different from others. If this BLAW and month is too much - UNPLUG - we will be here for you when you get back.
With love j xx
inspired by @lifewithsarahjade’s post - love your courage ✨✨
This scene was a bit too real for me. After seven years of unexplained infertility we decided to do IVF. The preliminary test (ovarian assessment report) showed that I had zero viable eggs. The test went so badly that they were sure it was a mistake and they made me do it again. A few weeks later my husband and I sat across from the doctor as he told us that even with IVF we had close to a 0% chance of success. In the end I was grateful to finally know that adoption was our path, but I will never forget the feeling I had in that room.
Hola chicas y aquí me encuentro #icsi has llegado ! A la noche los 💉💉 el sábado control y será diferido mientras mejoran mis arterias y luego realizó el #testera así que a poner los ovarios el corazón y el alma gracias a todas por leerme a @estonomelocontaron porque me cuenta todo aquello que nunca pensé que pasaría y junto a Baby me acompaña con toda su generosidad, eres grande!
A todas un abrazo enorme enorme que acorte distancias #fertilidad#reproduccionasistida#seremama#infertilpandy#infertilitysucks
Les dije que adoro a mí doctora de @pregna.medicinareproductiva seguro que si ❤️ soy la persona más pesada del mundo vamos niñas a poner todo y si nos cansamos vale sentarse hasta tomar fuerza, pero atrás ni para coger impulso.
#gonal#menopur y luego les muestro mí batería de vitaminas
Anna Nicole (@annarracn) from Edinburgh (UK) has suffered from endometriosis symptoms since she was 12, but was only officially diagnosed at 18, after doctors repeatedly insisted she had digestive or mental health issues, and even removed her appendix!
At age 16, one gynecologist suggested she was TOO YOUNG to have endometriosis and instead shamed her for being sexually active at that age.
She finally found a doctor who was willing to operate two years later. But the pain only subsided for a couple of years after that surgery, and Anna was admitted to the hospital again with extreme pelvic pain. She was discharged from the hospital without any pain relief. During a follow-up appointment one year later, it was decided that another surgery was needed. The day of her 2nd surgery finally came after an 11 month wait, only to be told after waking up that the first surgery was not done properly, as no excision had been performed, and the endometriosis was severe and widespread. It was a challenge to remove endometriosis from the ureters without damaging them.
Anna Nicole reminds us to become skilled at listening to our body and urging professionals to believe us.
"You have the right to ask questions and challenge decisions. This has spread to other areas of my life, I feel empowered. I do my research and I ask those questions. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I convinced myself that it was in my head and that I was selfish for complaining. Sometimes I am frustrated with my body and I worry what will happen in the future. I’m hopeful my endo will not come back with a vengeance!"
The 3CC day-6 embryo I have on board from our transfer last week. My egg donor (a close friend) is 37, which may be why the embryos have all been a little sluggish. Currently trying to convince said embryo that my reproductive system is sluggish too, so it’s a match made in heaven. Five more days until we find out if my argument was convincing. #pupo#embryotransfer#pleasestick
I’m terrible at remembering things. So, although I turn #26weeks tomorrow, I snapped my 25 week shot yesterday and here we are (better late than never, right?). I’ve been making far healthier choices this pregnancy, yet somehow, I’m already pacing ahead of schedule in the weight gain department—I gained 10 lbs in 4 weeks 🤦🏼♀️ You could say I’ve been stressing out a bit over that news, but then Monday happened. Monday was infant and pregnancy loss awareness day. Everyone who has lost a baby lit a candle at 7pm that night, so I lit two for both our angels in heaven. That night reminded me of the pain we went through and how hard we worked to conceive this pregnancy, so I’m choosing to not worry too much over what weight I gain, focus on carrying a healthy baby, and simply being thankful that I’m getting to witness the miracle of growing a child all over again. It truly is a miracle. ✨
There is so much to do when preparing the body for pregnancy. To prepare for a pregnancy, it is advised to avoid a lot of chemicals and it can be difficult to navigate some. Let’s begin by talking about some of the biggest culprits in the chemical world that can hamper our fertility the most.
Bisphenol A is a popular chemical that has been proven to cause many health concerns such as heart disease, diabetes, liver toxicity, and most recently infertility. It is known as an “estrogen disrupter” and can cause changes to our systems biologically. Researchers have determined that women who have been exposed to higher rates of BP are at a high risk of producing fewer embryos during an IVF. This means they are also less likely to get pregnant because those eggs you do produce, may be abnormal. Even ladies who are trying to conceive without medical interventions are more likely to produce abnormal eggs. This will cause difficulty getting or staying pregnant. Although companies are reducing the use of BPA or switching the product used instead, it is still alarming where it can be found. Products such as food storage containers, dishes, food and drink containers, such as canned foods, and even paper receipts.
Phthalates are considered a type of “endocrine disruptor”. They can be found in almost any product including your perfume, cleaning supplies, fabric softener, food containers, make up , and nail polish. Phthalates can affect your estrogen production. This will in turn affect the quality of eggs you produce, how an egg is fertilized, and even the lining of your uterus for an embryo to attach to.
Women who have high exposure to phthalates are at a higher risk of miscarriage, even before she knows she is pregnant. It has also been linked to higher rates of endometriosis. To reduce your exposure, you will need to clean out a lot of the products you are most likely using.
OTHER TOXINS TO AVOID
There are of course other toxins that can be harmful to you, especially while trying to conceive. You can read about them on theivfwarrior.ca (link in bio). @kaylabegleyhc - Health Coach
Ladies, I need your help! My hubs has his urologist appointment Friday to try and narrow down what is causing his MFI. He’s had a sperm analysis and all counts came back as low as possible, while still having sperm. I have no idea what questions to ask. Anything will help!
WELP IUI cancelled AGAIN. This time they said DH’s sample had basically 0 motile sperm. I’m sad but also feeling numb to the disappointment at this point. I’m just tired of feeling so close and then having everything snatched away at the blink of an eye. We have a lot of things going through our minds. We are considering switching fertility clinics bc we feel like this one just isn’t aggressive enough with monitoring or starting to save for IVF which seems impossible. I’m just tired. #iuicancelled#infertilitysucks
I’ve got some CRAZY exciting news to share this afternoon.... for any of you #ttc who want to try #naturopathicmedicine but feel like it’s financially out of reach. 😍
Be sure to follow @perfect_fertility so that you can have first chance!! #ivfjourney#infertilitysucks
Sorry for the TMI post but OMG I got a fright when I emptied my mooncup this morning 😱I guess the saying ‘what goes up must come down’ is definitely true. Along with the cramps, another lovely reminder from Mother Nature that I’m back at square one, childless. Life’s a really dick sometimes 🙄😵(positivity will resume soon but for now I’m allowing myself to be sad and pissed off 😢) #infertility#infertilitysucks#ivf#ttc#ttccommunity