That has been the theme of 2018 ☝🏼⠀
As we get older, although it seems we become more capable of achieving our goals, there also tends to be more roadblocks, excuses and self doubt. ⠀
When I was 12, and proudly graduating from elementary school, I decided I would write a prophecy for my class. I ended up reading the 3 page paper, along with a little handwritten farewell poem, to my entire elementary school - parents and teachers included - during our graduation ceremony. ⠀
I always was an introvert, but clearly didn’t let other people’s opinions interfere with what I loved to do - which at the time was writing. Once I entered Middle School and realized that most of my hobbies weren’t a popular choice among classmates, I quickly learned to adapt and change my interests to suit others. ⠀
Fast forward to my early twenties where I was still masking and hiding; avoiding giving myself a proper identity. I remember feeling incredibly anxious during interviews when they would ask, “Tell me a little bit about you”. Not even a calculus equation could make me freeze like that (because at least it’s reasonable to decline to answer 😅). Once I collected myself, I would refer to all the carefully memorized notes in my head. I would check off little boxes as I went along saying the things I thought they would like to hear. Because, truthfully, I had no idea what made me who I was, or what I enjoyed.⠀
I reflected back on this today when I was asked that same question. I was surprised that I could properly articulate my response - no memorization or footnotes required. My words flowed freely and I felt a sense of comfort in the confidence that came with it. And I feel like every year I inch closer and closer to building on this response, as I discover and learn more.✨
بحثمان كه ميشد
حرفهاى دلمان را
به زبانِ آهنگ براى يكديگر ميفرستاديم ،
من با ترانه هاى انتخابىام تصدقش ميرفتم و
او تا ميتوانست ناز ميكرد...
آنقدر اين بازىِ شيرين ادامه داشت
تا مجبور ميشدم برايش بنويسم:
هميشه بحث كردن مشكل را حل نميكند
گاهى بايد حرفِ دلمان را بسِپاريم
به نُت ها...
به ترانه ها...
به کلماتی كه دقيقاً همانجايى كه لال ميشويم
به كمكمان مى آيند
آنهايى كه انگار داستان زندگيمان را از بَر كرده اند
يكبار امتحان كنيد ؛
"زبانِ آهنگ ها را"
Our discussion can be
Let's say our words
We sent this song to each other
I'm with my selected songs and
He could have been so beautiful ...
This sweet game took a long time
So I had to write to him:
- a fight
It does not always solve the problem
Sometimes we must leave our hearts
To notes ...
For the song ...
To words that are exactly where we are dumb
We come to our help
Those who seem to have thrown the story of our lives
"Song Language" 💕