Kinda an idea the struggles and how much depression and anxiety can take on a person. A lot of people including myself just over a year ago would say depression and anxiety is just an excuse for people to use to get attention. I just recently learned the hard way and was slapped in the face by myself for ever having that mindset. A lot of people don’t know but back in March i was officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety and i am taking 2 different medication to keep myself together. Not always do these medications help. However here is an example of how it can affect a bodybuilder. As you can see one of the pictures are not like the rest. That picture was just taken today just a few moments ago. The other pictures were taken on May 9th. After dealing with my depression still eating like I’m supposed to but not working out like i was i lost all the hard work that i had accomplished. Then on top of it i was ashamed to look at my coaches because i didn’t want to see the disappointment in there eyes. Even though they knew what was going on they knew i would pick myself back up and get back on track with training. But never just assume someone is just craving for attention because just like myself anyone can put a pretend face on and call it a day and make it seem like nothing is wrong until they are behind there wall and knowing no one is looking and they can let the true emotion out. Ask, communicate be the friend they can trust don’t just look at them and think they just want attention depression and anxiety is seriously no laughing matter.
Woke in a great mood and my day ends great. It’s nice to smile again and in the gym without worrying or having an anxiety attack before i even walk in the door. Baby steps again but the progress still pushes forward. New meals and strict dieting in the future i have goals to meet and to crush. Give me reasons to prove them wrong.
“Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it.”
-Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
+ I think it’s about time for new pictures. I looked amazing then but i look better now though 😍 being able to fall in love with myself is by far the greatest thing i have been able to accomplish this past year. Between the roller coasts and hurtles i have struggled to cross i think I’m finally on the journey that the lord put in front of me. I will probably swerve more in the future but it’s all about that thing call living life and not regretting what knocks me down!
Finally waking up in a great mood has never felt so amazing. After multiple breakdowns, feeling lonely and almost forgetting what my own self-worth was today has been an amazing morning. Ready to take on this day and remind myself that i am better than this and nothing can bring me down. Don’t expect happiness from others if you can’t give yourself happiness first. Feels great being back to myself and having my appetite back.
-Depression and Anxiety is no joke and this week was the biggest test on myself that i have went through to date.
-After taking nearly a week and half off to work on myself mentally and emotionally i finally got back into the gym today wasn’t for working out but for posing practice. 15 weeks out from show and here are my measurements now compared to when i was measured nearly 2 months ago.
-Before today i forgot that i had more than one person inside my support group. Today i had my eyes reopened to the realization that i have people there for me that i whole heartedly realized believed in me more than i thought others had. I don’t know which was harder the trying not to cry or the actually being in front of my coaches crying. This shall past and i will be strong. I will prevail past this and show myself that nothing will hold me back!
Sunday is rest day except am 25 min cardio session. Been a rough week between college, late softball games, people getting shocked on equipment and having to do maintenance on over 100 pieces of welding equipment in 5 days and horrible eating the gym kinda fell to the side and i will admit it unfortunately. No excuses for it but this week back to being strict on myself again September 8th will be here before i know it and i have to bring my best package to the stage!