Petrified Griever and poem by Melinda Hall of Uriel's Uniquities published in contribution to Survivors: Work Created in the Wake of Hurricane Michael by Tony Simmons and The Syndicate Studio available at Amazon for Kindle immediately and for shipment with 48hrs.
When I look back at my journey over the last 28 months, I had no idea I would one day spread my wings and begin to fly...That the Brokenness Has a Purpose... •
My transformation is more than what you see on the outside, it’s Soul Deep... The brokenness has been replaced with LOVE...Something that I didn’t once have... •
Losing weight doesn’t heal the brokenness. I have been thin and toned throughout my life and I have been overweight...The healing began with forgiveness-forgiving myself and others...•
I wish I could say it’s easy and that would be a lie...The process is painfully beautiful, because it brings you to places that you thought you could never go...•
Here’s something that you don’t know about my YouTube videos. I do my own recording and I need photos for my thumbnails. I can’t take photos of myself so I record myself doing poses and I have no idea how I look because I don’t wear my eyeglasses. 😁 I use the screenshots for my thumbnail. The screenshot photos of me in the denim jacket and green shirt was recorded yesterday for my video that I will be uploading today...•
When I look at her, the new me, I see that she stands taller and I see confidence in her eyes... I see her strengths and her weaknesses..I know what she has gone through to get to where she is...I see that she is finally free...
It’s time to start a conversation... 1 in 5 children will be sexually abused before the age of 18. This statistic needs to change.
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Its Thanksgiving week friends, and in the spirit of the holiday I want to share something with you.
For those of you who don't know, at the age of 24 I was diagnosed with papillary thyroid cancer. At least 8 small tumors were growing on the middle and right side of my thyroid gland. I opted to have a total thyroidectomy, which was followed by 2 rounds of radioactive iodine treatment. Two years later, a full body scan showed no sign of cancer and I was officially in remission.
For the last 10 years, I have been closely monitored by my endocrinologist with regular bloodwork, occasional ultrasounds, and the correct dosage of synthroid - something which has fluctuated dramatically through 3 pregnancies and postpartum periods.
Sometimes when I ask Tom to pick up my medication, I'll joke, "Please! I need it to live!" He hates it, and I know I shouldn't joke about it, because it's true. If I were to stop taking my medication, I would die.
This fact is always in my brain, moving forward and backward in my thoughts. I know how very lucky I am, but despite that luck I have struggled with this sinking feeling that I am living on borrowed time. If I could get sick so young, why wouldn't it happen again?
This September, I went to see my endocrinologist for routine bloodwork. I had been feeling off, and suspected that my synthroid dose would need to be adjusted again. My doctor always calls me promptly the next morning with the results. This time the next day happened to be the first day of school. I was busy and missed her call. When I listened to the voicemail she confirmed that yes, my dose needed to be increased, and that there was something else she needed to talk to me about. Please call her back.
Well, I thought, this is it. It was an agonizing day and I tried over and over again to reach her. I finally got her on the phone at 5:30 that evening.
(Continued in comments)
It is estimated we have approximately between 25 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Sadly, research has found in study after study 70% of these thoughts are negative. More alarmingly, 95% of our thoughts are repetitive…
Meaning, we continue to repeat the same thoughts day after day.
What most people don’t realize is that our thoughts create a cascade of images. We, literally, are constantly producing movies in our minds.
These movies signal our bodies to react as if the images we are playing a real. .
If you want power more limitless then you can currently imagine, learn to constantly “live stream” a continuous loop of PRETTY PICTURES.
The most powerful #lifehack I have found is to clearly identify your greatest dream or best life and then recruit the awesome power of your subconscious mind by constantly rolling movies that help you to see, feel, touch and even taste the wonder and beauty of your future possibilities.
When I had leukemia and lymphoma, I quieted myself several times a day to see, feel, touch and taste what it would be like to feel strong as a wild bull again. Two years after I started watching this movie, I was declared cancer free!
When I wanted to achieve my impossible dream of becoming the first person to swim the entire 187-mile length of the Willamette river, I would watch an endless loop of my triumphant swim from the Willamette into the Columbia River with fists raised in victory. Within 10 months of watching these pretty pictures, I had the power to make this dream a reality… (see www.swimminginmiracles.com)! When I wanted to find the right person with whom I could celebrate the remainder of my life, I prepared a list of the characteristics my perfect match would embody. Every night, with the reverence of a prayer, I enjoyed watching our lives together (I was tempted to tell you that I would see her, feel her, touch her and taste her… But, I decided that that might be too much information). Within two years… and after a lot of awkward dates, I found @bobbiparkerhall, my dream girl!
IF YOU WANT THE POWER TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE...
MAKE YOUR PICTURES PRETTY!
Here we go.
Off to meet with this one in a billion, rockstar neurosurgeon to talk about my options for the aneurysm.
Best case: he tells me that the likelihood of it rupturing or causing any problems is lower than the risk of surgery and that we should just leave it alone.
Worst case: he says he thinks he can fix it.
Sounds goofy right?
Like shouldn’t it be a good thing if it can be operated on and fixed?
But the whole idea absolutely terrifies me.
Surgery at my brain stem?
Just sounds so damn risky.
But then again, walking around with an aneurism is pretty risky too, I guess.
One thing is for sure, I’ll come out of this appointment with WAY MORE information about my situation than ever before, and that’s definitely a good thing.
Wish me luck guys, even though I’m excited for more information, I’m still pretty nervous for the possibly to have to come to what may be a pretty serious decision to make.
Change happens through movement and movement heals.
There is no doubt in my mind that the reason I’ve been able to heal as fast as I have is because of my commitment to movement and healing both body and mind together.
It’s not about being a certain weight or size. It’s 100% about how I feel when I move. It is a privilege that I get to move. •
Here are a few moves from my Pilates workout today. Rebuilding that core strength and feeling stronger and gaining mobility everyday!
Do you practice Pilates?
I am a riser. I’ve fallen so many times in my life but, each and every time, I dust myself off and get back up on my feet again. Has it been easy? Hell no. I’ve licked my wounds and shed my tears so many times that I cannot possibly count them. I take the time to nurse my wounds and then, when I have had enough of that, I say ‘Feck that! It’s time to get back to living again.” #fallingisexpected#wallowingisnot#getbackup
Because I was 19 and didn’t understand that I was raped. Because I was extremely drunk and underage so I thought I would get in trouble. Because I also took pills that night so I thought it was my fault. Because I said yes when he invited me back to his friends’ place. Because I wanted to hangout with him that night. Because after it happened I sank into a depression and began abusing alcohol and pills and became very promiscuous. So this must just be “me” now, I thought. I must have wanted it. I’m shaking as I type this. So I cannot imagine being up on stand. I salute all the brave women going through this difficult time. I SEE you, I BELIEVE you, I AM you.
Whether you choose or are able to tell your story doesn’t make it more or less valid. My intention in sharing my story is to spread understanding and provide hope and voice to others ❤️. If anyone you love or know is struggling please listen to them with understanding. Ask them if they are okay, and most importantly, believe them because most of us can barely believe themselves and this is the number one thing that prevents healing. #believesurvivors