I think I will fix myself a cup of Lemon Balm Tea and then read my tea leaves. 🍃 Repost from @healing_happens - Ahhh, lemon balm ... Thank you! - - - "Lemon balm tea has been called the “Elixir of Life” due to its incredible anti-viral, anti-bacterial, digestive, and sedative properties. Incredibly, it also has high levels of antioxidants which substantially increases its ability to heal and work effectively. Lemon Balm contains a compound called terpene which has the ability to help relieve anxiety, stress, hypertension, depression, high blood pressure, muscle spasms, heart palpitations, tension headaches, circulatory issues, and cognitive disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder and Alzheimer’s Disease." -Anthony William @medicalmedium
In other news.... I had a big first day too. As part of my prerequisites, I need to volunteer 40 hours at a physical therapy clinic. Today was my first day! I shadowed a Physical Therapist working with patients with low back injuries, rotator cuff and neck injuries. I ❤️ this stuff! #healinghappens
I had to close my eyes as I washed my hair this week. I just couldn’t watch anymore.
These baby blues filled with tears every time, as I felt handfuls of hair fall from my hands and down the drain. My eyelashes and eyebrows have all fallen out again, and my weight has dropped back down to 100 pounds. •
The nerve damage from 2.5 years of extreme pain from this withdrawal has damaged my system even more, and has resulted in joint pain and inflammation. The hives and rashes come in aggressive waves, accompanied with nerve pain and hot, burning sweats. I have only had a handful of days in over six months that I’ve been able to even put on clothing, much less leave my house. •
This is all the result of trusting the doctors that prescribed steroids to me, from childhood into my 30’s. And YES, if you know me at all... I DID ALL THE THINGS. I went to every natural or alternative practitioner you could see... Naturopathic Dr, Homeopathic Dr, Acupuncturist, Cranial, Polarity, etc... I tried so many things to heal naturally. •
In 2013, I was suffering so terribly my hands would crack open and bleed while I performed five or more massages a day. I was busy, had worked hard to become so, and we RELIED ON MY INCOME to survive. So what does one do? I took care of my family. I kept working. I took the meds. I wore gloves. I had to take three Benadryl in the middle of a session, to cope with the hives... IMAGINE doing five full body deep tissues while covered in burning hives, drugged up on Benadryl.... And still somehow getting return clients!? I worked like that for years, being pumped full of more and more steroids, inside and out. It was obviously not working anymore, and in January of 2016 I cut myself off all meds cold turkey, and began my detox process.
Within two weeks my hair started falling out, I dropped 14 pounds, was covered in burning swollen hives constantly, and developed electrical nerve shocks that wracked my body in pain. None of this has gone away for more than a few hours since. I eat, sleep, pray, and meditate all from my bathtub, as it’s the only place the pain is somewhat tolerable. I get precious, little breaks on occasion, but not one day has ⬇️⬇️⬇
My skin doesn’t tan evenly. I have discoloration on my neck, arms and hands. It is probably due to scratching because my little one pictured here also have it and she’s never had steroids. My friends keep telling me how better my skin looks. But I see the battle marks, the blood stains, the wrinkly skin. TSW makes you look older. That’s a fact. But it’s supposed to be temporary. For now I can live with that. It’s nothing compared to the hell I have been through. And when you’ve been to work with oozing shedding hands and a red face a little discoloration is not going to make you the least self-conscious. I don’t know if my skin will ever look normal again. I doubt it. My hands will probably always look older. I believe the atrophy can only heal to a certain extent. But I still hope my skin will improve and look better. And in the end when I heal completely I hope I’m left with overall healthy looking skin. Not so much to look better but to look healthy. Being healthy on the inside is all what this challenging journey is about and looking youthful and healthy on the outside is the simple reward I hope for. I just hope my expectations are not too high. On a positive note I can go in the sun, bathe, eat a spicy veggie tajine, drink rosé wine and do about anything I want. Life is good when the worst is over so keep fighting warriors 💪🏼😘 #eczema#cortisone#steroids#diprosone#locoid#topicalsteroidaddiction#topicalsteroidwithdrawal#healinghappens#saynotosteroids
Join me tonight at @the_riders_ranch for Mindful Monday is a donation based class open to the ladies of #miltonfl and #pacefl#mindfulmonday happens the third Monday of each month. The class consists of 20 min of restorative yoga, 20 min of guided meditation, and 20 min to discuss.
Hope can be a difficult thing to find when you are struggling - The team at Strength Counselling Services is here to help you find your way out of fear, back to hope. There is hope, and we are stronger together.
My life has been a whirl-wind over the last few months. So many things have not gone as I’d hoped or planned for. I’m living in a place I definitely did not plan on living in and I’ve had to come to terms with a health issue that begs for my attention.
I’d like to share my story in a way that’s helpful and inspiring...
Here’s a brief summary.
I sold my house at the top of the market (YAY).
I only sold my house because I was told I qualified for a mortgage on another house that I had fallen in love with.
I was on my way to purchasing that house...until I was told that I DID NOT QUALIFY for a mortgage after all.
I was working with someone that I had known for years and trusted with this (clearly).
Was left homeless for 2 days with 2 pit bull style dogs (one of which is not dog friendly and is a nervous wreck). Thank god for friends who let me stay in their empty condo.
Found a rental home in my area, and had to pay an entire 2 year lease up front to get it.
We are safe, and we have a home (for now). I know I’m not the first or last person this will ever happen to.
And I’m debt free for the first time in 20yrs 🎉
Unfortunately I was already working with a compromised immune and nervous system and the stress about took me out.
I’ve been told that I have genetic predisposition for mold sensitivity. And I’ve been exposed to mold. Also that I’m positive for ‘post lyme’. And I already knew that I carry the EB strep virus’ (most of us do). I’ve been working with chemicals for 25yrs on the daily so add that to the crap soup that I’m swimming in.
I’m not telling you this to gain sympathy or even well wishes (although I’ll always take all of the love I can get 💕). I’m telling you this because all of this stress has stirred in me a desire to be WELL. To be truly HEALTHY and STRESS FREE as much as possible.
I was coasting at best.
If I’m going to be of service to you at all, I’m going to need to CARE DEEPLY for myself first.
I’m currently on the mend. I’m working with a practitioner, I’m settling in my new home and taking steps toward recovery.
Most of which I’ll be sharing here as much as possible in the coming weeks.
Braids and makeup compliments of my 10 year old niece @savannahlee30 ✨
Trips home are good for the soul—maybe not good for the body considering I did eat a pound of fried shrimp and every sweet I could get my hands on. 🙌🏻 throughout our life we will reinvent ourself many many times. There is a small tribe of women that has been there for every reinvention in my life and I for their‘s; The good, bad, and the ugly. I was adopted into this family in my teenage years and boy it has been a ride. It is these relationships that you keep close to your heart forever. #chosenfamily
“Dear little girl,
I apologize for what society is about to instill within you. The general outlook on life is a fickle poison. For it has taught you to think things that simply are not true. No he does not like you if he hits you on the playground.
Dear teenage girl,
I apologize for what society is constantly instilling within you. The basic understanding that love is a horrid tale. For it has tricked you to do things that are not you.
Dear young women,
I apologize for what society has continued to instill within you. The overall belief on love is a wicked spell. For it has conditioned us. That looking outward is what to do. No, he cannot love you if his side is where you are bound.
Dear grown women,
I do NOT apologize for what lies on the backs of our shoulders. For it will give our children,
I cannot feel sorry for our
Fatigue, we have been destined to carry loads.
But we are not pack-mules,
We are fighter jets with whole 4th of July displays within our bellies.
We give life to bundles of joy,
Life them to heights only known as “Mommy”. WE are the very creators
Of heaven and Earth, and hell (if scorned). Do not fear screaming, the confusion of what was, is no more.
The world is no longer silencing you.
Your voice Matters.” -Mari Sol Goddess 💖~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The Nymph Series] PC📸: @soulark_photo MUA💄: @lilbitdanica Styling: @lilbitdanica
It has been a while since I posted a selfie. I've been on a long 9 month journey of topical steroid withdrawl and let me tell you it has been one heck of a rollercoaster emotionally and physically. I must say even though it has been the most challenging experience of my life, I am definately seeing my body and skin going through positive changes. I am hopeful that my eczema will eventually clear up by the end of the year. For those suffering from TSW, I'm here to tell you to hang in there and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Be patient and have faith and do whatever you can to promote healing in the meantime :)
Just arrived back home after another seaside holiday in North Devon with the girls and my sister’s family...Got another dose of Vitamin Sea! Swam, bodyboarded/boogieboarded, slept for 9 hours each night ( apart from when my nephew had a sleepover!) and just chilled. For the TSW and Skin Warriors community out there - I’m full MW at the moment with no need to apply anything even after being in the sea for a while. The human body had learn to heal ( mind and soul still to follow - watch this space though...) x
Strrrreeeeetch and deep breaths. The weekend is here! ••
This is an easy little breathing technique I teach my clients to transition into rest and repair mode called the 5-5-7.
Close your eyes and get comfy (you can do this anywhere). Inhale through your nose for 5 seconds. Hold for 5 seconds. Then exhale slowly through your mouth for 7. Exhale out all the stress and anxiety you’re holding on to, imagine it leaving your body as you do. Repeat 5 times (or as much as needed) and then shake it out. That’s it! You are now primed to chill.
Have a beautiful, relaxing and FUN weekend. Take as many deep cleansing breaths as needed. Xo ♥️
Some of you have been asking me “What happened“ to me. Some of you have been asking me “Where have you been?” Some of you have been asking me, “What are you doing?” THE ANSWER? I’ve been watering my grass. The grass of myself. The grass of my son. The grass of my family. The grass of my friends. The grass of my soulmates. The grass of my fellow beings of light. The grass of my ancestors. The grass of my #brothas and #sistas . I’ve just... I’ve... Well... I’ve been gardening bro. 😅🤷🏻♀️ [Nymph Series]
The grass is greener where you water it.” - Neil Barringham 🌿🌾 PC📸: @soulark_photo MUA💄: @lilbitdanica Styling: @lilbitdanica #marisolgoddess#peace#love#light#nature#shineon#selflove#healinghappens#inmyelement#natureislife#nymphsofnature#manyfacesofmari
On my wellness journey, this gem of a human has brought countless tips and inspiration along the way. And, guys, as my cheeks stretch into a big grin I have to say: it was an incredible honor to have her on the podcast this week!!
In our chat @wholelifewithamy is sharing her journey to remission from Lyme: the harsh symptoms she faced, the tools she reached for to support herself, and how she learned to listen to her body and that burning fire inside her to make things happen in her health.
She also shared this little nudge for us all as we reach for that next layer of wellness for ourselves:
“Showing up...and just trusting. If you’re feeling called to try something, do it. Do it the BEST you can. Don’t let excuses get in the way, but knowing you will walk away with whatever nugget you were meant to.”
To listen in on the full episode, find #thewellnesscrossing on iTunes or click the link in my profile 👌🏻
What is that next step you need to take and trust in?
I am sitting here, the arms of my lover wrapped around me. But I am not okay. Tears fighting to either drop, or be blinked away. A war. Like the feeling inside, to allow myself to completely fall apart or just "pull it the fuck together". I don't think I can do both.
As a matter of fact, I know I can't.
The relief I get from allowing the water works to flow is great.
I know I would be satisfied with nothing other than curling into a ball and falling apart.
It's not easy for me to let this side out.
But maybe I should do it more often.
The fact that I held back this long
adds all the more fuel to my fire.
I've been a blaze for so long now.
It would make since to explode.
As much as I would love to direct
the destruction of myself,
and deflect the pieces that are left
This is not the reality.
This is an implosion. -Mari Sol Goddess
I am a #sexualassault survivor, and I am not ashamed. I know many women who share the title with me, but who feel at times that they beneath the title and not above it. Ladies, you ARE NOT what has happened to you in the past. You are a PRODUCT of an ugly moment in time that has TRANSFORMED you into a goddess of loving, understanding, respecting energy. Please don’t ever forget this. I know it can be hard at times, but this is why we’ve been taught to build a #family of support. If you feel you do not have someone to support you, I will be that someone. Or I will help you find that someone. There is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. Look and you shall see. Seek and you shall find. Love and light. Happy Fri Fri. [The Nymph Series] PC📸: @soulark_photo MUA💄: @lilbitdanica Styling: @lilbitdanica
I bawled today. Like the heaving, ugly, can’t stop it crying. Weirdly enough, I was crying bc I feel so healthy. //
I have spent 15 years (and especially the last 6) focused with incredible determination on getting better... and I am starting to truly feel better, like I’ve leveled up and as long as I keep my systems in place, I can stay here. Permanently. Like I may never again feel the type of pain I was in before. Ever. 🤯
I used to feel like a visitor to the Land Of The Well. I would count good days in the month (sometimes as few as zero or one). I remember crying last year when I put together a whole week of good days (it was Sept). //
And now? Now I count bad days instead of good (5 this past month). And those bad days are no where near as bad as every single day was 3 years ago.
And it makes me cry. Cry bc I feel so much grief over what I’ve missed out on and lost these last 15 yrs. I cry bc I am just now understanding how incredibly hard I was on myself. I cry bc I am just now letting myself see how hard it all was.
I was also crying bc I don’t know how to be well. I feel like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind - a girl I worked so so so hard to love and care for, a girl I worked so hard accept, a girl I spent the last 5 years learning how to integrate with the world: the Sick Girl. //
I’m leaving her to go to the Land Of The Well and it feels disorienting. And awesome. And sad... bc she was around for so long that she had become a piece of my identity and I’ve already lost SO many identities to this disease. It’s weird to loose another one to being healthy. //
Does any of this make sense? My fellow healing #Lymies and #spoonies and #pwme folks... is this nonsense? Has anyone felt like this? Have you felt grief as you heal? Grief bc you are finally able to see how hard it was and then grief as you let it go (including the you that you learned to love while sick)?#theperilsofhealing#latenightthoughts#healinghappens#LDNchangedmylife#chronicfatigue#fibromyalgia#babesia#lymedisease#morethanlyme#lymedontkillmyvibe#invisibleillness#chronicillnesswarrior#chronicillnesscommunity#ablism
Despite all the pretty I show in my feed it’s not always the full story. However, the pretty parts are what encourage me to dream and push forward. And I think that’s something a lot of small business owners, or really any human, can relate to. .
What are you battling? Let’s build a community right here to support one another through the pretty and the tough moments.
I’ll start. I’m battling Lyme’s disease, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and A-FIB. Lyme’s being the worst of them all this summer. I started a new treatment plan this week and it is working, but I’m also extremely weak and herxing (which feels like the flu). Being a solopreneur this has brought both fear and stress into my days as I know I have deadlines to meet, yet my body isn’t participating. It has been a constant battle since I was 18 and some days it feels as if my life were stolen from me. Not an easy emotion to tackle. .
So today instead of fighting my body, I allowed it to rest. I crawled in my bed, too weak to pull the covers over me, and slept. .
Now I’m making up for lost hours this afternoon and will be sewing and working late into the night. There is always a trade off and 9-5 doesn’t live here, but dreams do. 💕🙌
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I haven’t done an update on my physical health in awhile - not because nothing has changed, quite the opposite - I’m just not sure what/how much to share these days, but I’m going to try.
We’ve been home for almost a month. Moving home has been the best thing for me. My level of independence and ability has increased immensely. When we first got home I used my cane about 50% of the time, but I’m happy to say I have been completely cane free for over two weeks🙌🏻 Even on days when I feel sore/weak, I don’t reach for it. My body is getting strong! I’ve been swimming lately at the gym, a low impact activity to strengthen and start building back muscle (it’s crazy how much muscle mass I lost). Yesterday was huge - I’ve been practicing driving with Greg and yesterday I drove to an appointment on my own, no one else in the car! God is so good!
Everyday I wake up expecting great things - & great things happen. Sometimes it looks like picking something up without using my toes (which, btw, I’ve gotten quite good at), playing with Maximus or driving on my own.
I’ve said this in the past, but I feel it needs to be said over and over. There is so much beauty on the other side of fear. I fear a lot - but I push and pray through everything, and there has been so much beauty.
Life is never promised to be perfect or easy - it’s not. It’s so far from it. But I am a walking testament (literally) of the beauty that lies on other side of fear. #lethoperise#healinghappens // http://liketk.it/2wY8u #liketkit @liketoknow.it #LTKsalealert#LTKunder50
One of my crunchy life goals is to transform cauliflower into every dish ever in existence, so I had to try this one. 😂 Kidding, but I can’t currently tolerate oats, so cauliflower oatmeal it is! Got the recipe from the Bulletproof blog and altered it. It’s super easy. I riced the frozen cauli, heated it up with coconut cream, put some collagen, poured a tablespoon of Brain Octane oil, added chia seeds, flax seeds, blueberries, pumpkin pie spice, Himalayan salt, and stevia. Put coconut chips on top. The concoction thickens when heated, and it actually turns out quite delicious! My only complaint is that there’s a slight cauliflower aftertaste, which I’m going to figure out how to mask. If I left this dish in the fridge overnight, I actually think it could taste like overnight oats because everything would gelatinize further. What’s your favorite cauliflower transformation recipe?
The best part of travel is keeping the memories for when the walls close in and life gets small.
I was thinking about how incredibly small my world used to be.
2 years ago, I felt like I was in the tiniest of cages... anytime I stepped outside the line, I experienced immediate and awful physical repercussions. //
If I had a bite of food with gluten in it, it could cause a crash. If I didn’t sleep at least 9 hrs, I would crash. I remember describing how frustrated I was to a friend- the lack of freedom was so suffocating, I cried trying to explain it. //
Over the past 2.5 yrs, I’ve made really big strides in healing. The cage has opened, the rules grown fewer, I can color way outside the lines. //
Things aren’t perfect, but, damn, Ive got a lot more freedom. I still have plenty I need to do to keep that freedom - but I’m enjoying stretching my wings. 🦅 //
And for those who are in the cage still - I know how frustrating and maddening it can be... hold on, keep going, healing will happen! 💪🏼💚🙌🏼
i know what i need⠀
and am open to⠀
growth and transformation ⠀
so that i may receive ⠀
the gift of abundance
still in a funk but i can tell i’m slowly moving through it bc the desire and drive to create is coming back. currently setting #intentions for the rest of the year •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
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Vitamin Sea! We’re packing up now from our holiday in North Norfolk and I’ve been in that sea and swimming every single day and the sun and the seawater has felt medicinal for the mind, body and soul! Fully MW now ( even that beard area!) and end after a swim! I just needed to dry off and my skin was fine - no tightness - for someone who had to use topical steroids twice a day and moisturisers multiple times a day - this is so wonderfully strange! Heading home soon and then hitting North Devon for another beach bonanza! Big love people and believe - wherever you are on your journey - healing does happen x
My day was amazing from beginning to almost end.
Thank you for all of the birthday love in Facebook messages, Instagram messages, texts and calls.
I feel very lucky and very loved 💕
Ever wonder what it’s like to really appreciate life?
A very long and physically debilitating illness can do that to a person.
Words can’t even express how amazing it is to feel normal again ✨
Never take a good day for granted.
46 is feeling pretty dang good! *The only thing missing today was our other daughter who couldn’t join us because she’s a working girl now. Proud of her but our circle isn’t complete till we celebrate together 💗
I have been worried about making the solo drive from Boise to McCall for weeks. As many of you know I have a visual processing disorder that leads to cognitive fatigue. Especially when zooming by landscapes in cars. So I didn’t know if I would have the stamina to make the entire drive. I knew I would make it—but how many stops, or and how taxing/symptom triggering it would be—has been a scary unknown. Welp! I made it with only one quick break and no headache to boot! I am really testing my body’s resilience this week and damn am I impressed! And while I wouldn’t have intentionally packed my week so full I am so relieved to have bounced back from my CA dr trip quickly. Swipe for a reminder of what that cognitive fatigue looked like / vs today. #healinghappens#slowly okay. Gotta go. @jason_crandell workshop starts in less than an hour!