ENDINGS & NEW BEGINNINGS 🔥.
“Please don’t replace me?”😭.
Words from my daughter as she looked in my eyes pleadingly Friday night.
My heart broke in two 💔.
I thought I was in labour.
I’d had 8hours of a slow build up of surges all day. Hubby, me & our Doula were ready. Thinking it would kick off once we’d put Teia to bed. But as I sat settling her to sleep she panicked.
“You won’t love me anymore!”😢
“I won’t be as cute as the baby”
“Please don’t replace me Mummy”💔
The pleas kept coming as she begged to be back on my breast (first time in 3years)... I let her.
By the time she was asleep my surges stopped.
I realised when I let this boy into the world my relationship with Teia will never be the same again. No longer her & me.
How could I possibly love this boy as much as I love her? 💔.
I had no idea having number 2 would bring up so much.
Both heart opening & breaking at the same time.
We’ve done ‘US’ so well for 5yrs.
How will it be when it changes?
I sobbed hard Friday night as I felt the ending of this phase in our life.
Creating space for new beginning.
This unknown space.
Im comforted my daughter can express herself so well.
I can’t take her pain away.
Life is just life!
Full of endings & new beginnings.. with every heartbreak there are tears. Letting go.
But then space cleared for something new. Unknown, full of possibility.
And so with an aching heart & an excited heart we are enjoying every last minute just us.... before it changes.
I’m not replacing you Teia, my heart is growing bigger, stronger, filling with MORE love 💓.
And so will yours darling.
And that’s what happens in life.
Our hearts grow.
With every letting go.
Our capacity to love stronger.
We must Let endings happen warriors 🔥.
So MORE space for our lives to grow, expand is created.
Who struggles with endings?
With every ending comes a beginning.
Filled with new possibility.
Filled with new life.
Most of us have no idea how much love we are capable of....until we surrender to let it come.
Trust the process.
Trust the process.
Thanks to everyone who got involved with the print giveaway I’ll probably do another one in a few weeks it was fun!! Congrats to @madelynquinn thanks for ur support 😊 -
Another shot from last night at the Spit in Noosa, such an epic sunset! Hope you like this one 😊🤙❤️
EXPERIENCES // I'm still trying to get my head around this @ted I watched last night about our memories versus our experiences, how they're very different and how happiness is relative. It went something like this; how we experience things in the present moment is different from how we often remember it, our memories being great storytellers. The bit that got fascinating, and is something I'm hugely passionate about, is where those with lived experience influence policy rather than healthy people who have no experience of things and perceive what it must be like to have XYZ.
Oh and it also touched on the confusion we face between being and becoming; the difficulty in knowing how we might adapt to things.
I need to watch it again to unpickle my brain.
The TED was Daniel Kahneman: The Riddle of Experience Versus Memory if you fancy getting your thoughts as pickled as mine 😉 📷 The Atlas Mountains, 2011, a brilliant holiday (as far as I remember and I am pretty sure I experienced it that way, or did I?!)
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A post of @tiffpenguin 📷
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